Becoming Sam Carter
by Jackie W
Summary: No matter what path she takes, there were some things that were destined to be. S/J
1. Prologue

Author's Notes:

I haven't posted anything here for quite a while, but I have been writing. This story had been worked on in bits and pieces since last September. It's not finished by any means, and I usually don't post stories that I'm not pretty close to finishing. But I was out checking my e-mail and was overwhelmed by the number of reviews there were for old stories of mine just in the last 4-5 weeks. Not to mention all of the people who had added one of those oldies to their favorites list. So thanks to all of you that took to time to do either…. You inspired me to brush the chapters I have written off and get them ready to post.

I've never written a true AU before, but in this alternate universe everyone is exactly the same as the Stargate crew we know and love, except for one person. This story concentrates on Sam, and how despite a very different life full of tragedy and pain she finds her way to becoming remarkably similar to the strong and confident Sam Carter of canon.

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes, and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

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Prologue

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When she was twelve years old, Sam Carter and her mother were dropped off at the mall by her father with the promise that he would pick them up in two hours. Three hours later, tired of waiting, her mother called a taxi to take them home. Sam would be the only one to survive the ride. The taxi was sideswiped by a large eighteen wheeler on a rain slicked road and crashed down into the gully landing on the driver's side instantly killing the driver and her mother who was also sitting on that side of the car. Sam was trapped with the two dead bodies for four hours as rescue workers literally took apart the car piece by piece to remove her without having to amputate her crushed leg.

She spent two years in and out of the hospital and four operations on that leg and her broken pelvis not to mention hour after hour of grueling physical therapy before she could walk again, albeit with a limp. During the first year she never spoke a word. At first her silence was attributed to the broken jaw she also received in the accident, but it was Margaret Hammond who realized that she was severely traumatized and browbeat Jacob into getting her therapy. Since Sam didn't talk at first, she was forced to draw a lot of pictures that eventually showed the good doctor just how much of a dividing line the accident had been in young Samantha's life. The pictures of before the accident were of Sam as a fairly happy child, even if her father was gone a lot of the time. The young girl often drew her 'before' self amongst the stars surrounded by her family and it was easy to see that she dreamed of becoming an astronaut. The pictures she drew of herself after the accident always depicted Sam alone and earthbound. Indeed in talking to Sam's brother and father it was clear that neither were very regular visitors when Sam was hospitalized, and during her periods at home, she was taken care of by a housekeeper and a tutor.

All of this had caused young Samantha, an avid learner before the accident, to escape to her books. She graduated from high school before her 17th birthday. The day after the graduation ceremony her brother Mark who also graduated that year took off for parts unknown. She never heard from him again. At 20 she completed her undergrad work at MIT and a year later got her masters degree there. Just as she was deciding what to do next with her life she got a call from her father. He had cancer and wanted to see her before he died. Two months later he was gone. She spent a few months settling his estate, putting Mark's half of the proceeds from the house and life insurance into a trust. Then she got on with her life.

She took a teaching position at the University of Chicago while she worked on her two PHDs. And she published several papers. One of them on deep space radar analysis caught the eye of one of the project managers at NASA and that was how at age 25 she reached her dream of exploring the stars, even if she was earthbound.

NASA gave her access to the most high-tech equipment available. Or so she thought until a paper she published on Wormhole Theory got her a call from a Dr. Catherine Langford. Before Sam knew it she was working on the Stargate project and everything she had ever thought she knew about physics and the universe at large went straight out the window.

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TBC


	2. Never a dull moment

Authors notes:

Wow! Thanks for the enthusiastic welcome back! So we are going to take a trip in the way-back time machine and follow the basic events of the first two seasons, although I have taken literary license with a few of them in order to make them fit my story better. I hope to post every other day. Keep your fingers crossed.

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam Carter was on an adrenaline high. The new Iris she had designed was working, and none too soon seeing as how the Goa'uld had been trying to send through weapons and even possibly soldiers regularly for the last 12 hours. The sleepless nights of the past several months had all been worth the simple _'Well done'_ from General Hammond.

Now that the immediate crisis was over Sam's stomach started to growl and so she headed for the commissary. After picking out a sandwich and blue Jello she went to a quiet table in the corner where she could eat undisturbed. It wasn't often that she sat and ate here, usually she was in a hurry to get back to the lab and just grabbed something to go. However when she did take a break, she liked to sit at this tiny table tucked into an odd space along one wall. From that vantage point she was relatively sheltered from wandering eyes, but she could keep watch over the majority of the room and observe people as they came and went.

It was a skill she had mastered during her years in the hospital. When she could no longer stand the confines of her room she would wheel herself down to the cafeteria or on nice days to a bench off to one side of the hospital's main entrance and watch people go about their activities. She especially loved to see young couples rush in about to give birth and would watch for days for the same couple to be leaving with their new baby. Once she'd been in the lobby when a couple was leaving with twins and had watched with great amusement as they tried to juggle everything and get loaded into their car.

Then had come the final diagnosis of her injuries. Despite all of her surgeries, her right leg was as good as it was going to get. And although they had removed as much scar tissue as possible from all of her internal injuries she would never be able to have children. She stopped the people watching after that. It was too painful to see families out and about. Not only by that point was her childhood family in serious disarray, but now she knew she would never have one of her own as an adult.

Here though it was different. No families to cause melancholy thoughts, just soldiers and scientists, interacting, or not interacting, as the case may be. She was hoping that in days to come she would be able to pick up bits and pieces of the teams missions through the gate. Despite her handicap she dreamed that someday she would be able to travel through the artificial wormhole.

_'Maybe if there was a really safe planet that was purely of scientific interest,'_ she thought with a sigh.

It was pretty quiet that day, so soon enough Sam was heading back to the control room to check on her new invention and make sure it was functioning. Maybe, she mused as she got into the elevator, she might be able to get off base long enough this weekend to go out and find an apartment. After living on base for the three months since she'd been called back from the Pentagon she was ready to get out from under the mountain once and a while.

She'd been in the control room for less than five minutes when all hell broke loose. Major Kawalski entered and tried to dial out the gate. The Sergeant at the console was brutally pushed aside and it wasn't until Sam herself was being held hostage and heard the deep reverberating voice of the Goa'uld in her ear that she realized what was going on. Her eyes went wide with fear just as Colonel O'Neill and General Hammond arrived with Dr. Jackson a few steps behind.

After that everything was a blur. Kawalski dragged her out into the corridor and down to the elevator. Once inside she tried to reason with him that there was no way out, but was backhanded across her jaw for her efforts. Pain erupted first in her face, and then as the force from the blow propelled her backwards she felt her ribs crack as she hit the wall followed quickly by an array of bright lights as her head also connected forcefully. After that she knew nothing until she woke up in the infirmary.

The first time she managed to open her eyes she was alone and it took a few panicked moments for her to figure out where she was. Eventually the familiar beep and hum of monitors, the gray walls and voices in the background clued her into the infirmary setting and her foggy brain deduced she was on some lovely painkillers. With no one around to answer any questions she let herself be pulled back to sleep by the drugs.

When she woke the second time there was a nurse in the room, and sunlight streaming through the window. Sam frowned once that sunk in. She was definitely not in the infirmary anymore. The nurse seeing that she was awake and looking confused brought her a glass of water and a straw and fussed over her a bit as she drank.

"You're at the Academy Hospital, Ma'am. You were in a lab accident. Just a few broken ribs, a nice concussion and a bruised jaw. You should be up and about in no time," she comforted.

Sam sighed. The lab accident was obviously a cover, but why had she been transferred away from the SGC? What the heck was going on back there? Once again there was no one to answer her questions, so she settled in for a long lonely couple of days.

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General George Hammond sighed in exasperation. It really wasn't Dr. Warner's fault but he needed to have a talk with the man about chain of command and getting permission. Warner had transferred Sam Carter out of the SGC infirmary during the crisis without consulting him, although the man's reasoning had been sound. Sam's injuries were serious enough that she needed to be monitored closely and what with losing one doctor, and Warner being needed to treat Kawalski, sending Carter to the Academy had seemed like the logical solution. Warner of course also assumed that it would be easier for her to have visitors there, not realizing that her only possible visitor was Hammond himself. And with a Goa'uld on the base there was no way he could sneak on over to see her.

He sighed as once again he realized how much he missed his wife. One phone call and he could have counted on Margaret to be at Sam's bedside. Instead the best he could do was place a quick phone call to a florist.

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Sam Carter glanced at the clock for the 10th time in as many minutes. For a moment she let herself be angry. Was it too much to ask for the General to actually be on time so she could out of this place? The doctor had released her hours ago, and still she sat in one of those horrid hospital gowns waiting for her godfather to bring her some fresh clothes and take her back to the base. She sighed as she looked at the clock again, and this time her anger was replaced by a great wave of sadness. She'd been at the Academy hospital for four days without a single visitor and nothing to do. The general had promised to visit twice, but both times had been tied up with the aftermath of the Kawalski incident. Through his phone calls she had learned of the Major's death, memorial service and funeral, which had been just the day before.

And while she grieved along with the rest of the SGC at the tragic turn of events, she couldn't help but be a bit selfish. Over the last three years working on the Stargate program, first at the Pentagon and then on and off at the SGC she had started to gain confidence in herself. As ideas contributed to the success of the program she found herself actually sought out for advice and ideas. For a girl who had been ignored and alone for a good deal of her life the feeling of teamwork and contributing had been like an elixir. She had begun to come out of her shell.

Today she remembered what it was like to feel invisible. The doctor had been in hours ago, and the nurse had brought her a wheelchair for her departure as was procedure. Since then she hadn't seen a single soul. Even as she debated trying to call the base to see if the General was on his way she heard voices in the hall.

"Jack, how would I know what room she's in? You're the one that talked to Hammond," a male voice complained. "Stop poking your head into every room. I'll just check at the nurse's station."

Even as she heard the unknown voice a head popped around her doorway. "Carter! Daniel I found her!" he exclaimed back into the hallway. Then he was striding into her room. He stopped short after a few feet though.

"You're not dressed," he accused.

Dr. Jackson walked in just then and a quick glance told her that neither of them was carrying anything.

"You were supposed to bring me clothes," she explained softly.

The reply was loud and angry.

"Oh for crying out loud!"

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TBC


	3. Invisible Sam

Author's note:

First let me again thank all of those who took the time to review... you're kind words really have the muses juices flowing! Special thanks to the reviewer who sent me a private note... I admit to being rusty at posting so I'm glad you pointed out a few flaws. Yes, this is going to be a Sam and Jack story (eventually!) so I'm adding the pairing to the summary.

Unfortunately I'm only on chapter three and I'm already having technical difficulties updating existing stories. Luckily the problem is not occurring on my office computer, so I'm not totally dead in the water. But I might not be able to post on the weekend until I figure the problem out on my home computers, so there goes the every other day game plan!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Jack O'Neill was used to thinking on his feet and so he surprised both Daniel and Sam when he announced within seconds that he had a gym bag in his truck, and would go and fetch it. "The clothes will be too big but they'll be better than what you are wearing and you only need to go from the front door of the hospital to the truck, and then the truck to your front door."

He was gone before Sam had a chance to tell him she had no front door, and he left behind a slightly uncomfortable Dr. Jackson. Ever the diplomat however, Daniel broke the awkward silence.

"I'm Daniel Jackson, and that was Jack O'Neill," he greeted the woman offering his hand.

Sam took his outstretched hand and gave a tense little smile. "I'm assuming the General got tied up," she commented.

Daniel nodded. "Yes, he's on the phone with the Joint Chiefs and the President trying to resolve Teal'c's status. Jack wants him on SG1, and Hammond's doing his best to persuade the powers that be."

Sam nodded. She'd known it was something important that had held him up.

"So how are you feeling?" Daniel inquired politely.

"A little less like a train ran over me than I did yesterday," Sam admitted.

"Kawalsky felt terrible about hurting you. He must have asked how you were a half dozen times," Daniel told her.

"I'm sorry Dr. Warner wasn't able to save him," Sam replied just as Jack O'Neill returned and she saw a flash of sadness pass over his features before they were firmly schooled.

He tossed a pair of sweats at her, along with an unopened package of boxers. "It's the best I could do in the undergarment department. Luckily I bought some new ones the other day and tossed them in the bag," he said. "You'll have to wear the hospital slippers though, as I doubt my shoes would come even close."

Sam began to struggle out of the chair she was in and Dr. Jackson rushed to help her. She whispered her thanks and limped into the bathroom to change.

As they waited for her to change Daniel looked around the room with a frown. There were no books or magazines and the one droopy flower arrangement had a card that simple read "From you friends at Cheyenne Mountain". He was getting a bad feeling and was about to mention something to Jack when the door to the bathroom opened.

The two men really tried to reign in the grins, but the sight that met their eyes was highly amusing. She'd rolled up the pants at the cuffs and the waist, but there wasn't anything she could do about the sweatshirt that looked more like a dress than a shirt. Despite her above normal height, Sam Carter was thin and the effect was similar to a small child trying on her parent's clothes.

She was about to die of embarrassment when a nurse rescued her by stopping at the door. "Are you finally leaving us?" she asked. "Don't forget to use the wheelchair. It's hospital policy," she reminded them before moving off.

Sam shuffled over to the chair with a sigh. She hadn't been looking forward to limping along beside the two men anyway, and this way she could escape without a lot of questions.

"Where's all your stuff?" O'Neill asked, looking around for the first time.

"No stuff," she commented.

O'Neill frowned for a moment at that and then shrugged. "That makes it easy. Daniel do you want to do the honors or should I?" he asked indicating the wheelchair.

"I'd be happy to," Daniel answered, and then they were off. Jack went on ahead to get the truck and pull it up to the entrance once again leaving the two scientists alone together.

This time there was an uncomfortable silence. Daniel was dying to ask why she'd had nothing to even amuse herself with, but didn't know how to breech the subject. Sam was silently praying that he would let the questions she could see in his eyes drop without verbalizing them.

She got her wish when Jack pulled up with a roar. She looked at his truck in consternation. Damn it was going to difficult to get into the monster. But Jack O'Neill surprised her again, striding over to where she was sitting and swooping her up into his arms he quickly settled her into the passenger seat. She was still blinking in surprise when he and Daniel joined her.

"Thanks," she finally said as she put on her seat belt.

"I've had a broken rib or two in my day," he simply responded. "So where to?"

"Back to the base," Sam instructed. "I was only recalled from DC two days before you were," she explained when he looked like he was going to question her. "What with running a full diagnosis on the dialing computer so you could go retrieve Dr. Jackson, and designing the iris I haven't had time to look for anything here. Now that I'm sure I'm going to be in Colorado Springs a while I'll have to try to find the time to go apartment hunting."

At this point Daniel decided to chime in. "I need to find a place too. Maybe we could go out looking together," he offered. When Jack threw him a surprised look, Daniel continued with a grin. "Unless of course Jack wants me as a permanent house guest."

"God forbid Daniel," Jack countered. "One of us would probably kill the other by the end of the month."

Sam smiled at their bantering. These two men were so different from each other and yet they seemed to have a strong bond. She envied them that.

Jack O'Neill glanced over at his passenger even as he continued to rib Daniel, and was the recipient of her smile. For a split second he nearly stopped breathing. For the rest of the drive he had a hard time keeping his eyes on the road. He'd barely noticed her in the control room the other day, and although he'd thought she looked ridiculously cute in his clothes he hadn't really taken in much beyond how thin and pale she was.

But that smile.

He couldn't help but think it was a good thing he didn't have to work with the woman every day.

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As they neared the mountain Jack ventured to glance over at the woman sitting next to him again. The smile was long gone and a concerned look had taken its place. She was even biting her lower lip.

"Something wrong Doctor?" he asked.

"Um, I just realized I have no identification on me," she confessed.

Jack frowned. Just who had been in charge of transferring her out of the SGC? They had left the poor woman with no clothes, money or id, and by the looks of things no one had checked on her the whole time she was at the Academy Hospital. He definitely was going to have a word with Hammond when they got back. Actually, it looked like he needed to have a word with him before they got to the base. He flipped his cell phone open and hit the speed dial. A moment later he was connected with the General.

"O'Neill, here, Sir. Looks like we have a small snag," he began and then proceeded to tell him about his problem passenger. When he hung up he passed along the results. "Hammond will leave word at each of the guard's stations. As long as you are with me you will be let in," he told her.

"Thank you," Sam replied, although she was silently cursing her luck. She'd been hoping to get dropped off at the main entrance so she could make her way slowly into the bowels of the mountain while the Colonel and Dr. Jackson were busy parking the truck. Now she would have to make her way awkwardly all the way down the corridors. She could almost predict the looks of pity.

She didn't need to worry. The two men dropped her off at the entrance and then went to park the truck, by the time they made it back to the first checkpoint where she was waiting they were arguing again and they barely paused in their discussion to sign themselves and Sam in. In the time it took her to walk halfway to the elevators to take her down ten levels to the next checkpoint they were already entering one and the doors were closing. Sam stopped in her tracks stunned. She'd been worried about being pitied. She should have been concerned about being ignored.

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Daniel and Jack were still arguing when they reached Hammond's office.

"I'm just saying don't get your hopes up, Jack. The higher ups are never going to let Teal'c join SG1," Daniel pointed out for the tenth time.

"I never would have believed that they were going to let you on the team, Daniel, but they did," Jack countered.

At that point Hammond beckoned them into his office as he hung up the phone.

"So what the verdict, General? Can Teal'c join us?" Jack asked trying to remain calm.

"I'd be happy to answer that if I didn't have to go take care of a little matter of security on level ten," Hammond replied with a frown. "Seems two of my supposedly smartest people lost someone on their way in."

"Doctor Carter," Daniel groaned.

"Damn," Jack muttered looking around as if the woman would materialize by magic.

"You two wait here while I retrieve her," Hammond ordered. "We'll talk when I get back."

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Hammond had to stop and gain control of his features when he got his first glimpse of his goddaughter. His amusement was quickly followed by guilt though, as he remembered her request via phone the day before to bring clothes with him when he came to pick her up. Still he couldn't resist teasing her.

"That's a new look for you Samantha," he commented as he sighed her in.

Sam Carter wasn't going to let him get away that easily. She had a wicked sense of humor and the brains to go with it. "You will pay for this, you know," she informed him.

Hammond shuddered remembering some of Sam's pranks when she was laid up in between operations when she was fourteen. With way too much time on her hands everyone around her had been subjected to some form of scientific experiment being used to torment them. There had been the stink bombs, and sudden electric shocks, not to mention various adhesives and slimes that they'd had to deal with. He'd personally had green hands for a week at one point. He remembered thinking that she needed to be disciplined until his wife had pointed out that Sam was just looking for some attention. So instead of yelling he'd simple gone and shown the teen the results of her experiment and asked exactly how she'd done it. She'd talked his ear off for an hour and for the first time in a long time she was animated and smiling.

That was the day he'd innocently suggested that she had a great future ahead of her as a scientist.

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TBC


	4. Forging New Bonds

Author's Notes:

Surprise! I fixed my home computer so I am back on schedule posting. You've all been so great reviewing I'm glad I didn't have to keep you waiting.

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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The next month was a time of transition for everyone at the SGC. Hammond had agreed with Jack that it was unacceptable to shuffle injured personnel off to the Academy Hospital if at all possible, and to that end had hired a new CMO who would be charged with analyzing and making staffing recommendations.

Along with finally getting approval for Teal'c to join their team, SG1 had been assigned another member, Lt. Clare Tobias who had a degree in astrophysics. O'Neill had made his displeasure known at having another scientist on the team, but Hammond had overruled him.

As a fellow scientist Sam thought that she would be working closely with the 2IC of the lead team, but she had quickly realized after their first meeting that anything that Tobias couldn't personally take credit for was of no interest to her. Oh she listened politely when Sam and the other scientists had briefed O'Neill and his team before their first mission, but that was as far as it went. Since their return she had gone out of her way to avoid the civilian scientists whom the Captain had nicknamed 'the Geek Squad'.

Sam had been surprised by that, seeing as Tobias's educational background was only slightly less impressive than most of the 'Geeks'. But then Sam had rationalized that it probably wasn't easy being a woman in the Air Force and Tobias had most likely been trying to distance herself from the true scientists to help her bond with her military teammates.

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Sam spent some of her spare time over the next several weeks working on a personal project. Early one morning three weeks after she returned to the base General Hammond walked into his office, took off his uniform jacket and sat down at his desk hoping to get through some of the paperwork before his first scheduled meeting of the day. Shortly after, Walter brought in a pot of coffee and poured the General a cup while he reviewed the morning schedule. It was about twenty-five minutes later when George went to walk over to refill his cup that he finally realized that he was firmly and completed stuck to his chair. After a moment of struggling he yelled for his assistant and told the sergeant to get Dr. Carter ASAP.

Now normally Sam would have been in her lab before Hammond arrived on base, but she had spent the rest of her free time during those weeks looking for an apartment and had just moved in two days previous. On that particular morning she had purposefully stopped for coffee on her way in, and then proceeded to take the scenic route to the base. So it was a good hour after being summoned that she appeared before the General, looking as innocent as could be. By that time Hammond had had time to regain his sense of composure, so when Sam studied the situation seriously and threw around possible solutions that were more and more outrageous, he started to see the humor in the situation. And he knew he had it coming, so he graciously let her have her fun, and then, as he knew she would, she simply produced an aerosol can of some mystery solvent that instantly freed him from his chair captivity. Walter was quick to produce the General's spare uniform and after changing, the rest of the day was relatively normal.

Except of course for the laughter that followed him around the corridors as people recounted their versions of the story, and the huge grin on the face of his Stargate expert.

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As the weeks went by they all became more familiar with gate travel and Sam was able to make several suggestions to unable the gate to dial faster. In addition she designed a series of inertial dampeners that cut back dramatically on the shaking that had accompanied the dialing of the gate. As her successes mounted confidence in her as the go to person continued to grow, much to Lt. Tobias displeasure. Since the Lieutenant didn't get to spend as much time in the lab as Sam, she was often frustrated to find that a piece of alien technology had already been studied by Sam and her assistants before Claire had a chance to work on it.

As a result the woman gave Sam the cold shoulder when they crossed paths, which unfortunately was more often than she would have wished, as Tobias' lab was directly across from hers. On the plus side, it meant that Sam got to see the three gorgeous men of SG1 more than she would have otherwise. Not that they paid her much attention, although Teal'c always nodded politely. And if Sam's eyes lingered on their commanding officer slightly longer than the others, well a girl could dream, she rationalized. As long as she remembered that men like Jack O'Neill didn't fall for women like her. If they managed to get past the obvious handicap, they usually were put off by the fact that she was smarter than them. And the exceptional couple of guys who looked beyond all of that hadn't stuck around once they realized just how damaged she was.

Still, Sam often watched the four members of SG1in the mess joking around and envied them their tight knit little group. She'd learned a bit of each of their backgrounds through the grapevine and thought it was amazing that four such different people who were each basically alone in their lives had managed to form their own slightly unusual family.

She couldn't help but wonder if she would ever be that lucky. Although she had at least made one friend at the SGC. When she'd come back from the Academy Hospital, Major Ferretti had come knocking on her lab door one day. He himself was still recovering from the injuries he'd sustained when Apophis attacked Abydos and was only on light duty, but he wanted to make sure she knew how sorry Kawalski had been about injuring her.

"Charlie made me promise to check to be sure you were ok, but by the time I got back to the infirmary they'd transferred you," he apologized.

"We'll I'm fine, Major, and I'm very sorry for your loss," she told him.

"Charlie was a good man, he'll be missed," Louis commented. "Hey if there is anything I can ever do for you just let me know," he added.

After a pause Sam responded. "There is one thing. I'm starting to think that even the scientists who are tucked safely in their labs most of the time should learn some self defense. Could you teach me to shoot a handgun?"

And so their friendship had started. Besides teaching her the basics of handling a weapon, he'd also offered to show her some basic self-defense maneuvers. The two could often be seen hanging out together. Louis took the good-natured kidding he got from his buddies gracefully. After all he had a steady girl and Sam knew that, so there was nothing but a platonic friendship between them, one that Sam for her part treasured.

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Dr. Janet Frasier sat looking at the last two files that were on her desk. These two were each going to take a while and she probably only had time to make it through one before fatigue would finally send her home. She decided to glance through Colonel O'Neill's file since SG1was scheduled to see her in the morning before going off-world. She thought that what she would find there would be fairly standard for a career military man. She wasn't prepared for the account of his condition after his four months in Iraq however, and several hours later she could only marvel at the fact that the man was still fit for duty.

She sighed. The other file was for Dr. Carter. She had originally decided to concentrate on just the files of the members of SG1 through SG4 to start with, however when she had gone to pull Major Canfield's file Carter's had been right in back of it and she'd been intrigued by the size. So she'd decided that she would add her to the initial group of candidates that Janet planned to review and do her own physicals on. But Dr. Carter wasn't scheduled for her physical for two days, so she locked the two files in her cabinet and headed home.

In the morning Teal'c and Lt. Tobias showed up promptly in the infirmary. She decided to take the Lieutenant first as her physical would be fairly short and there was no sense in making her wait. She had just sent the woman off with one of the nurses to have a baseline MRI and blood drawn when Dr. Jackson showed up.

"I'll be with you as soon as I finish with Mr. Teal'c," she told him and he happily settled into a chair with some work he had brought with him. Janet mentally made a note to keep an eye on that one to make sure he actually slept and ate once in a while.

Teal'c's exam didn't take long either as the man was in fine physical form. Soon he was off for his tests and Dr. Jackson was up. She'd been a bit concerned to read in his file that he had died during that initial trip to Abydos and been revived by using alien technology, but she found nothing wrong with him that a bit less caffeine and a bit more sleep wouldn't cure.

As Dr. Jackson went off for his scans, Dr. Fraiser looked around for her next patient and sighed. She'd had a feeling from reading his file that he'd probably be a difficult one. She returned to her office and had just reached for the phone when there was a knock on her office door.

"Hope I'm not too late, Doc," the Colonel asked, with a smile that just dared her to be mad at him. Despite herself, Janet found herself returning the smile. Damn the man. She could see a future filled with frustration on her part.

"Not at all Colonel. Let's get started," she said grabbing his file from her drawer and walking him to a bed. She had just started to take his blood pressure and pulse and opened the file to make notes when she realized she had picked up Dr. Carter's file by mistake. Easy enough to mix up, they were both equally thick.

"Just a minute Colonel, I need to get the right chart," she apologized. As she closed the file and turned an x-ray escaped from the folder and fluttered down to land on the bed next to the Colonel. He picked it up to hand it to her when the image caught the light and caused him to take a closer look.

He let out a low whistle as he recognized the rods and pins holding the leg together. "Somebody is in a lot worse shape than me, Doc," he commented handing her the film. "You should have him in here."

"Don't worry Colonel, everyone will get their turn," she replied and put the film away. Unfortunately she wasn't fast enough to hide the label on the file tab from him, and his eyes widened when he saw the name. He'd barely seen Dr. Carter since the day he'd retrieved her from the hospital. He and Daniel had tracked her down in her new lab later that same day to apologize for taking off on her. Then three days later his clothes had been sitting on the chair in his office neatly laundered and with a new pair of boxers still in the package. A simple post-it note had merely said, "Thanks – SC". He'd seen her occasionally in the corridor or the mess, but had never bothered to talk to her. No matter how good looking he thought she was she was a scientist after all. How much could they possibly have in common?

He had to admit now though his curiosity was peaked.

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Lou Ferretti could barely hide his smile as he watched Jack O'Neill stand with tray in hand obviously undecided. The Major had been mentally betting with himself on how long it would be before the Colonel cracked and came to talk to him about Dr. Carter. Louis had been watching Jack watch the pretty scientist for the last two weeks every time the Colonel thought no one was looking. And Sam was definitely not unaffected by Jack O'Neill either. She pretended otherwise but Lou hadn't failed to notice that when the man was around she tended to smile more, even if she seemed a bit leery. He had a feeling that hot-shot guys like Jack O'Neill had not treated Sam well in the past.

Today though, Lou had decided that the two needed a push forward. This morning when they'd all been in the gym Jack's eyes had practically been glued to the woman. Not that Lou could blame him. Sam had looked pretty hot in the tank top even though she paired it with a pair of non-descript grey sweatpants. That particular morning Teal'c had shown up early for SG1's workout, and he'd been showing Sam some Jaffa moves that seemed to help her keep balanced more than some of the more traditional moves Lou had been trying to teach her. She'd been positively glowing with her success.

Afterwards in the locker room Teal'c had questioned Lou about Sam's injuries. "Was Dr. Carter injured in battle?" he inquired.

"No Teal'c. Sam was in an automobile accident when she was young. She was so badly injured the doctor's thought she might never walk again," Lou answered, noting that both Dr. Jackson and Jack O'Neill were listening intently. "But Sam's not one to give up without a fight. It took two years but she finally did walk."

Teal'c nodded. "She does indeed seem to have a warrior's heart."

"She's an honest to goodness genius, too. She actually understands how the Stargate works," Lou told them proudly.

Now he looked over at Jack O'Neill and decided it was the perfect time to do some meddling, so he signaled him to come over and join him.

"Where's your team today Jack?" he asked.

"SG1's on downtime, although Teal'c should be joining us soon. I had to come in to meet with Hammond to review the current team structures. We want to make sure four man teams are working," Jack informed him.

"Well SG2 seems to be doing ok. We still need time to work out the rough edges, but I'm pleased with the team so far. How about you? You have the most unusual team makeup," Lou pointed out.

"Yeah, and I won't say that it's a bed of roses. Tealc actually is the easiest to deal with. The guy understands chain of command and knows his way around. I'm really glad Hammond finally got permission for him to join us. Daniel, well he's Daniel. You remember on Abydos. He could cause a saint to loose their patience. But the real problem child is turning out to be Tobias. She's got a feminist stick up her ass that makes her prickly as pinecone. God forbid we ask her to cook dinner twice in a row. And on the last mission the natives objected to her clothes and she refused to put the dress on that they provided. We had to high-tail it out of there pretty quickly after that," he complained.

"Well at least she knows a lot about the gate, which could come in handy," Lou consoled.

"Yeah, of course none of us lowly non-scientists are capable of understanding the physics so she doesn't feel she should bother to explain it to us," Jack griped.

"You should get Sam to explain it. She uses an apple," Lou suggested.

"So it's Sam now?" Jack quizzed.

"Don't you start, too," Lou groaned. "Can't a guy have a woman as a friend?"

"Not normally," Jack argued.

"Well, we _are _just friends. I'm still dating Margie. I'm thinking of asking her to marry me as a matter of fact," Lou confessed.

"What does Margie think of Carter?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

"They get along great. Margie will probably ask Sam to be in the wedding. As it is she keeps busy trying to fix the poor girl up with any eligible bachelor that crosses her path," Lou admitted shaking his head.

"So Carter is single?" Jack asked nonchalantly.

"Yes, she is. You want Margie to fix you up with her?" Lou asked only half teasing.

Despite being interested Jack simply rolled his eyes at his friend. "What are we, sixteen all of a sudden? I'm perfectly capable of getting my own dates," he argued.

"Of course you are. That's why you've had so many in the last year," Lou said with a grin.

"How would you know?" Jack retorted. "Besides, I hardly think Dr. Carter is my type."

"No, because we all know that you aren't at all attracted to smart beautiful blonds," Lou agreed.

Jack grunted. "She's a scientist for god's sake," he complained.

"Whatever you say Jack. Just don't wait too long. Half the guys on base are trying to catch her eye. If Sam ever decides to look up from her work and take notice it won't be long before she's unavailable," Lou warned.

Jack shrugged him off, but Lou's words stayed with him for days. Until a trip through the gate brought back a nasty surprise and all hell broke loose.

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TBC


	5. No such thing as normal

Author's Notes: Sorry this is so short today…. I had to retype part of it. Hopefully I can post tomorrow to make it up to you all!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam snuck into her lab early for the third morning in the row. By coming in early, staying late, and bringing her lunch with her she'd been able to avoid all contact outside of her lab assistants, the gate techs and General Hammond for all of the three days. She wondered just how long she could maintain her isolation. For the rest of her life sounded good. Or at least until SG1 got taken off of sick leave and was sent on a mission. There was no way she could face Colonel O'Neill ever again.

She'd been in the control room when the first members of SG3 had begun showing symptoms of the virus, and being one of the people to rush to Lt. Johnson's aide she was one of the first of the on base personnel to contract the disease. Her actions after that still mortified her. She couldn't believe the way she had come on to Colonel O'Neill. In the locker room no less. Luckily for her, he was gentleman enough to not take advantage of the situation, instead quickly escorting her to the infirmary. Either that or he'd just not been interested.

And perhaps that thought was the most disturbing of all.

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Two weeks later Sam was still laying low. She'd ventured out a couple of times when she was sure that SG1 was off base or off-world, but one of those times had resulted in an unfortunate run in with the new team leader of SG9. Captain Jonas Hansen had seen her in the mess, and had walked up and brazenly introduced himself and asked her for a date. Sam had politely declined, but the Captain hadn't wanted to take no for an answer. He had obviously heard about the Broca virus incident and decided that Sam was fair game. Luckily Lou had come along and Hansen had backed off.

So for now staying safely tucked in her lab seemed to be the smartest thing to do, at least until everyone had time to forget about the whole mess. If only she could do the same. It seemed that whenever she closed her eyes she vividly recalled those long seconds before Colonel O'Neill's brain had caught up with what was occurring.

The man could really kiss.

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Janet Fraiser checked the number on the door and then swiped her card to gain access. She still was unsure about this mission. But she had promised Major Ferretti that as soon as SG1 had gone off-world to check on SG9 who were overdue that she would go and drag Dr. Carter out of her lab, even if it was just for a quick cup of coffee. As the door opened she saw the blonde scientist look up from her work, momentarily startled. Janet could see her breath a sigh of relief when she realized who it was.

"Dr. Fraiser, what can I do for you?" she asked politely.

"You can take pity on a one of your few fellow female colleges and go get a cup of coffee with me," Janet replied with a small smile.

"Ferretti sent you," Sam stated with a sigh.

"Was I that obvious? I told him I couldn't pull it off. But honestly, there are only about a dozen women on this base and over half of them work for me. We should get to know each other," Janet decided on the spot.

Sam studied her momentarily trying to judge her sincerity. After a moment she smiled and Janet was momentarily taken aback. It was only as they were headed to the commissary that she realized that in the four weeks she had been at the SGC she had never seen Dr. Carter smile. But then considering the circumstances of the last few weeks she guessed she could understand that.

They ended up spending over an hour talking that day, and it was to become a daily habit whenever the infirmary wasn't swamped, or Sam wasn't working on a tight deadline. On that very first day, Janet had assured Sam that the gossip surrounding her little incident would fade as soon as there was something new to gossip about.

"And if my first few weeks here are any indication it shouldn't take long for some new crisis to arise," the petite doctor had quipped.

Several weeks passed and Dr. Frasier's words proved all too prophetic. Jonas Hansen's psychotic behavior and subsequent death had become the new hot topic of conversation until two days ago when the members of SG4 had all come back with their skin dyed a lovely shade of green after being forced to ford through a river on P5X-231 that had contained an algae that had stained everything it touched.

Slowly everyone was learning that there was no such thing as a normal day at the SGC.

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Of all the places for her to have her first face-to-face confrontation with Jack O'Neill since 'the incident' it of course had to occur in the locker room. Fate loved to laugh at Sam Carter. She normally wouldn't have been there, but she'd spilled coffee all over earlier and after cleaning up the lab and finishing her experiment she'd headed to the locker room to change into a clean shirt. The Colonel had been there looking through some things in a box. They'd exchanged a few stilted words and gone their separate ways. It was only when she heard through the grapevine that the real O'Neill had just come through the gate that she thought anything about the exchange, and headed straight for Hammond's office.

Later after everything was resolved she was surprised to see the Colonel lurking in the doorway of her lab.

"I hear I owe you one," he offered.

Sam must have looked confused, because he continued. "Thanks for letting Hammond know about my double's being in my locker. If you hadn't who knows what might have happened."

"I'm glad no one was hurt," Sam replied, then after a pause, "at least physically." She met his eyes silently acknowledging that she knew how difficult the situation must have been for him emotionally. She couldn't even imagine how painful it must have been for him to see an image of his dead son walking around and talking.

Jack nodded slightly, and then cleared his throat, "Well, anyway, thanks."

And just as silently as he had appeared he was gone.

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TBC


	6. Childhood Dreams

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Nanites.

Sam shook her head in disbelief. Just what were they going to come up against next that would test the very core of what she knew about physics and how things were supposed to function?

Luckily she'd had some experience with nanites in the past, of course nothing anywhere near the level of sophistication as the ones that had infected Colonel O'Neill on Argos. Still she had been able to conjecture that there must be a power source, and that had led to the Colonel finding it and being able to turn it off.

Thank goodness he was now resting comfortably in the infirmary.

She refused to dwell on just how relieved she was by that fact. Besides she had much more critical things to worry about, like her latest physical. She was going to see her orthopedic surgeon next week, but Janet's last exam hadn't been encouraging. Both her knee and hip were starting to show wear from the limp she was forced to walk with, and it looked like she was facing joint replacement surgery on one or both in the near future.

Janet had pointed out however that the SG teams were coming into contact with more and more advanced species, and that medical advancements were bound to come from some of these. SG1 had been literally brought back to life by a race called the Nox, and the sarcophagus that Dr. Jackson had used during the battle against Ra was intriguing.

Sam however refused to put any hope in alien technology. If something came along it would be a miracle. She was too pragmatic to count on miracles. They'd been in short supply in her life so far.

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Sam took a sip of her beer and looked around the group of people milling about Jack O'Neill's kitchen. She knew that some of the officers were wondering what the science geek was doing there, but the invitation to Daniel Jackson's wake had been open to all, and she had felt the need to pay her respects.

Truth was she was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that Daniel was gone. Over the past several weeks the two of them had been working closely together late into the evenings trying to transfer as much of the data brought back from Ernest Littlefield's heliopolis into the base computers as they possibly could. Lt. Tobias had been furious that Sam had become involved in the project, but since Sam knew the computer system inside and out she'd been the one charged with finding an efficient way to transfer the data from Daniel's digital video recorder.

Now Sam watched the remaining three members of SG1 with a frown on her face. Something was off with them, but she couldn't put her finger on it. But she knew that after the incident with Colonel O'Neill's copy coming through the gate she'd be watching all three of them a bit more carefully in the coming days.

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Two days later she was in the gate room going over some diagnostics when the Gate began to dial in. She looked over at the tech sergeant with a question in her eyes.

"Should be SG6," Walter told her and she smiled her thanks and went back to work.

Just then Hammond arrived and a moment later the three remaining members of SG1 came running. On seeing SG6 coming through gate they stopped and looked confused. Hammond welcomed the returning team back and then turned as Dr. Fraiser ran in looking at SG1 in concern.

"Colonel?! What are you looking for?" she asked

Sam noticed that the Colonel looked confused. "I just...I thought...," he began with a stutter.

"Daniel Jackson was returning," Teal'c completed the statement in his impassive tone.

"Oh my God, I thought the same thing...why? Is he gone or isn't he?" Tobias wondered.

After a pause it was Jack O'Neill who finally broke the silence. "Somebody want to tell me what the hell is going on? Because I am starting to lose it here."

General Hammond turned to Fraiser for answers, "Doctor?"

She just shook her head. "General Hammond, there seems to be some questions in there mind as to whether or not Dr. Jackson is dead."

The General was taken off guard and his first instinct was to be angry. "You three were the only witnesses, if you are denying what you saw…,"

Colonel O'Neill interrupted. "No sir, I saw him die. We all did. I know he's gone. But I know he's still alive. "Sir we have got to go backkkkk!" he suggested even as he grabbed his head in pain.

"You're not going anywhere but the infirmary!" Hammond ordered.

Sam meantime had been quietly observing and suddenly she had an idea.

"Post Hypnotic Suggestion," she blurted out, causing Fraiser and Hammond to turn back to look at her with a question in their eyes. "They appear to be reacting to post-hypnotic suggestions," she told them.

She saw the moment that the doctor got it, and a second later she raced off to test the theory.

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Sam Carter sat in her lab studying the weapon SG4 had brought back with a small grin. She couldn't help but overhear the conversation that was going on outside her lab. The cheerful ribbing that Daniel was getting from his teammates for once again returning from the dead was the cause of her own lift in spirits. In truth the entire base was walking around with a smile on their faces since the archeologist's miraculous return. To prove her point, a couple of minutes later Janet Fraiser entered her lab with a huge smile.

"I feel like celebrating! Care to join me?" she inquired hopefully.

Sam hesitated. She hated the bar scene, or any place where dancing was the primary activity, but she wouldn't mind going out for dinner.

"What did you have in mind?" she asked.

"There's a new place called O'Malley's that's supposed to have great steaks. And they have pool tables. Have you ever played pool?" Janet suggested.

Now Sam was really grinning. "Pool, huh? Sounds good to me."

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Janet let out a cheer as her friend sank the last shot. Who would have thought that lurking within the normally quiet scientist was a pool shark? Or that when engaged in an activity where her handicap was not on display and her smile was bright with success that she would have every guy in the place mesmerized. Including the men of SG1 who Janet had spotted at a table off to the side a few minutes ago.

Now that the bets had been settled the two women were giving up the pool table to a group that had been waiting. As if on cue several men came up to the women offering to buy them drinks. They were interrupted however by Jack O'Neill.

"Ladies, would you care to join us at our table? We were just about to order dessert," he offered with a twinkle in his eyes. Underneath he was a mass of nerves. He had been trying to for weeks to overcome his embarrassment over the whole incident on Argos, and the awkwardness that Dr. Carter obviously felt around him, but what with missions and Daniel's 'death' there had never been a good time to deal with the matter. But she'd been hovering in the back of his consciousness ever since she'd jumped him in the locker room. Now he was hoping for some time to get to know the blond better.

Janet glanced over to Sam to see if she was ok with the idea and was met with a small nod, so with apologies to the other men gathered around they walked over to SG1's table. Daniel greeted them loudly.

"Doctor's we're celebrating!" he announced.

Both Janet and Sam chuckled. "We can see that Dr. Jackson. Just how much celebrating have you done already?" Janet asked.

Daniel looked momentarily thoughtful, but then abandoned the question. "Call me Daniel, please. Dr. Jackson makes me sound too stodgy."

"Alright Daniel, but you have to call us by our first names, too," Janet agreed.

"Okay, Janet. Okay, Sam," he replied with a grin.

Sam turned to the Colonel and asked quietly. "He does have a ride home tonight, doesn't he?"

"Taken care of," Jack assured her.

After that Sam let herself relax and settled in to enjoy the company of the lively group. After they finished sharing one of each of the desserts on the menu they ordered coffee and talk turned to what they wanted to grow up to be when they were little. They laughed through Jack's wanting to be pirate, and Janet's declaring she was sure she'd be a ballerina. Tobias blushed then answered that she'd dreamed of being a mermaid. Daniel, who had thought twice about telling anyone his childhood desire, now was able to honestly admit he'd wanted to be a desert sheik. They group sobered slightly when it was Teal'c turn not sure what to expect. But they broke into gales of laughter when he told them how on Chulak every morning one of the priests would ring the big bell in the town square. Not really understanding the role of the priests, he had wanted nothing more than to be the bell ringer.

Finally all eyes were on Sam.

"I was going to be an astronaut," she informed them.

They all smiled at that. Then Daniel thought of something. "Wow Sam, you came closest to being what you wanted to be. You even worked for NASA," he pointed out.

Sam smiled. What could she say? That coming so close to a dream and being unable to actually fulfill it was an ache she had to live with every day? Instead she teased the man right back.

"Oh I don't know Daniel. Didn't you spend a year on Abydos playing sheik?" she quipped.

Over the laughter she accidentally met Jack O'Neill's eyes. There was curiosity there, but thank goodness no pity. Because somehow Sam instinctively knew that the man had known exactly what she was thinking. And she was correct. Jack was wondering just how much of the science Sam so excelled in was due to her striving to go into space. And just when had she been forced to give up the dream? It was just one of the many pieces of the puzzle that was Sam Carter.

One that he wanted to solve badly enough that he was beginning to think maybe it was time to take Ferretti's advice and start dating again.

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TBC


	7. Loss of Hope

Author's notes:

Wow! Over 100 reviews! I would love to respond to you all but I would never have time to post! Just know that you are keeping the muse well fed, and I appreciate each and every one of you taking the time to let me know your thoughts.

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Several weeks later Jack still hadn't worked up the nerve to ask Sam Carter out. After all it had been years since he'd dated and he was a bit rusty. He knew he couldn't just walk up to her and _say 'Hey, Sam, I've been thinking about you ever since that kiss in the locker room, maybe we should go out.' _

He was almost desperate enough to take Ferretti up on his offer to set them up.

Jack's perfect opportunity was presented to him a week later when Lou announced his engagement to Margie Sinclair. The news had barely made it around the base when Jack decided to act on the opening and made his way up to Sam's lab. As usual, she was surrounded by pieces of some alien technology she was dissecting. He knocked on the doorframe and cleared his throat to get her attention.

"So I assume you heard the news?" he asked when she looked up in surprise.

"Yeah, it's about time," Sam answered with a grin.

"So I was thinking a party was in order and I was hoping for your help since you know Margie better than any of us. How about we discuss plans over dinner tonight at O'Malley's?" he suggested.

Sam's mind literally shut down for a moment as she processed the request. Finally she managed to stammer out a reply, "Sure, that sounds great."

"I'll pick you up at 19:00," Jack told her then turned away only to quickly turn back as he thought of something. "I guess I need directions," he admitted with a wry smile.

After writing down how to get to her apartment, and having Jack once again depart, Sam sat down on her stool with a thud. _'Calm down_' she told herself. _'It's not a real date_.'

So why was she suddenly unable to wipe the grin off of her face?

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Sam gave a contended sigh as she watched the tail lights of Jack's truck disappear around the corner. She'd been a bit worried that they would have nothing to talk about outside of work and party plans, but the evening had been an unqualified success. And better yet they were getting together again over the week-end. Sure it was supposidly to finalize the plans for Lou and Margie's party, but for now Sam was just happy for an excuse to see him again outside of the mountain.

Over the next two weeks Sam and Jack saw each other often. Besides their party planning 'dates', they also had lunch together several times, twice alone and a couple of times with Daniel and Teal'c. Tobias was conspicuously absent each time. By the night of the engagement party no one was surprised to see them arrive together. However the night of the engagement party would be the start of a turning point in their relationship, and it wasn't going to be a turn for the better.

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It started out innocently enough. The party had been in full swing for several hours and everyone was having a great time. Lou and Margie had graciously taken all of the kidding thrown their way by slightly intoxicated airmen and marines even going so far as to respond jokingly that they were planning on having an even dozen kids when asked.

However it was that question that set Sam off into a pensive mood. The last time she had dated anyone seriously she been dumped quickly once Robert had discovered she couldn't have children. She wasn't even sure what their status was as far as dating, so it was way too early to even consider bringing up the topic with Jack, but she wondered just how involved she should let them both get before she told him.

Sam was still pondering the question two days later. She'd decided that maybe she should confide her concerns to Janet and see what she thought. However any private chats would be delayed several weeks and all because of the arrival of a piece of alien technology, followed shortly thereafter by it's owner.

Hathor was about to wreak havoc on the members of the SGC.

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Sam hung back, tranquilizer gun in hand. She was only slowing the group headed for the sarcophagus down, and she would be of more use covering their six and trying to slow down the Goa'uld and anyone else chasing after them. She was relieved to see Captain Porter fall back with her while Janet, Teal'c, Tobias and the rest continued on carrying Jack between them. She refused to let herself think about the horrid incision in his abdomen. She focused all her attention on the corridor behind her and was able to take out the first two airmen who rounded the corner before they even saw the women. This alerted the rest of the group behind them though and soon she and Maria were under heavy fire.

When Hathor attempted to sweep past them Sam knew that she needed to slow her down to give Jack time to be healed. Without thinking about her actions she heaved herself at the Goa'uld and caught her arm in a viselike grip to keep her from using the hand device. Maria Porter took that as a cue to fire on the other men, and because they were all concentrating on Sam and Hathor they were quickly rendered unconscious.

Hathor however was too quick and strong for Sam who had hoped to distract her long enough for Maria to be able to turn and shoot a dart at the Goa'uld. In a split second Hathor heaved Sam down the corridor where she landed in a heap, and turned and did the same to Maria. With a haughty glare Hathor continued on her way to try and retrieve the man she had picked to be her first prime.

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Sam's first conscious thought was that there wasn't an inch of her body that didn't hurt. Even as she moaned involuntarily she heard footsteps and a moment later the pain receded letting her float back into a drugged sleep. It would be a pattern that was repeated several times over the next few days. Finally one day she woke up, and while in pain, she was able to keep from shouting out. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling.

"Doctor Carter is awake," she heard someone state loudly, and she ventured to try and turn her head to see where she was.

Janet Fraiser was approaching and she realized she was in the infirmary. That was a good start anyway. Voices on her other side caused her to turn her head to where Daniel Jackson was sitting with Teal'c. The Jaffa gave her a nod and then left the room. Daniel quickly explained.

"We finally got Jack to go get some rest, but we promised to come get him the instant you woke up," he told her.

Jack. Was he ok? Sam tried to ask but her brain was still foggy so she simply watched the doorway as Janet took her vitals. When Jack O'Neill jogged through looking fit and fine she found herself releasing a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Tears of relief filled her eyes, and then exhaustion flowed over her again and despite her best efforts she drifted off to sleep.

Three days later she finally was coherent enough to get a full accounting. She was exited to hear about the sarcophagus' success, but any hopes she had of using it herself were dashed by the accounts of the subsequent firefight with Hathor that had destroyed the piece of equipment.

Typical Sam Carter bad luck. Luckily no one besides Janet and Sam had known of the doctor's plan to use Sam as the first human test subject in the device, so no one knew how her hopes were crushed by the news.

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It was another week before Sam was up and about, on crutches with her right leg once again in a cast protesting the newly put back together bones and rods and pins. She was still confined to base as she was on too many pain killers to drive or function without someone monitoring her, but she had been able to move out of the infirmary to base quarters. Jack had been in to see her daily, and they had just had lunch together, but she knew that she hadn't been the best of companions as she was depressed, and slightly out of it due to the drugs. Since she was still not cleared for even light duty she avoided her lab and instead headed to the room where the sarcophagus had been stored.

The burnt remains where still standing there, along with some table and chairs and equipment that the other scientists had been using to study the remains. Sam pulled up a couple of chairs and sat on one making herself comfortable with her incased leg stretched out on the second one. She looked at the ruined piece of technology with at frown. It was heard to believe that this piece of metal could have at one point healed her.

Disgusted with herself for getting her hopes up in the first place she popped a pain pill and gave herself a stern talking to. When the throbbing in her leg continued she popped a second pill. She was so damned tired of being in pain. Soon she was floating on a vicoden high and with the pain under control she drifted off to sleep. She never heard the calls for her to come to control room, nor was she aware of the frantic search that was begun once it was determined that she was missing.

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Jack racked his brains. Where the hell could she have gotten to? The woman was on crutches for heaven's sakes. They had determined that she hadn't left the base and they had checked all of the obvious spots. They were about to start a level-by-level search when Ferretti came jogging up to where Hammond and he were conferring.

"I heard Sam's missing?" he asked in concern having just arrived on base.

"We've peen paging her for an hour, and she'd not in the commissary, infirmary, labs or her quarters. Any ideas Major?" Hammond replied.

Lou hesitated a minute. There was something that had been off with Sam since this last injury and it had taken him a bit to guess what it was. He'd had a little chat with the Doc yesterday and she had confirmed his suspicion. Now he figured it was the clue as to where Sam was, but it didn't explain why she wasn't answering pages. His worry showed in his face when he spoke up.

"Check level 17, the storage room that the sarcophagus is in," he suggested.

Hammond was about to lift the phone near him to order SF's to the room when Jack interrupted.

"I'll go," he volunteered.

"Me too," Lou agreed.

At Hammond's nod they turned to leave but he yelled after them that he would have a medical team meet them.

In the elevator Jack took a moment to question Lou, "The sarcophagus?"

"I've been trying to figure out why Sam's been so depressed. Turns out she and Doc Fraiser had some plot to use the thing to heal Sam. In all the years since the accident I don't think she's ever had any hope of getting better. I think this time she maybe thought there was a possibility," Lou explained.

"But at least we know the technology is out there," Jack argued.

"Exactly… out there, where Sam will never get to go. Don't suppose there is much of a chance of one of the teams bringing one back do you?" Lou pointed out.

Jack grimaced at the truth in the Major's words. He was ashamed to say that he'd never considered any of that. But then if truth be told he'd stopped seeing Sam as handicapped awhile ago. He was usually too distracted by her other qualities. Seeing her on crutches with a cast over the last week had been a bit of a shock. Still he didn't really comprehend what she was dealing with.

The two men reached the storage room in question before the medical team and Jack swiped his card to gain access. There sitting stretched out on two chairs was Sam Carter, looking dead to the world. Jack felt his heart literally skip a beat during the moment it took for him to check that she was alive and breathing.

But before he and Lou could do more that a cursory exame the medics were there and they whisked Sam away, leaving the two concerned men to trail behind wondering how they missed just how bad Sam was feeling, and how they were going to fix the problem.

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TBC


	8. Something in Common

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Janet insisted that Sam stay in the infirmary overnight, promising that in the morning she and Sam would sit down and discuss a plan for weaning her off of pain meds using alternative pain management techniques. Sam, who was embarrassed by the incident agreed without argument, only insisting that she wanted no visitors. This worried Janet, but she reluctantly agreed, understanding Sam's need for some privacy.

The next day, after meeting with Janet early before most everyone was in yet, Sam left the infirmary and headed to her lab. Although she technically wasn't cleared for duty yet she didn't think anyone would complain about her catching up on paperwork. She put on headphones and plugged into her Diskman and sat typing. Anyone that looked in would see that she was busy and would hopefully be discouraged from interrupting. Her ruse worked until lunchtime when Jack and Lou decided that she needed to be dragged out to eat.

Much to Sam's relief, it was just the three of them, and Lou turned the conversation quickly to the topic of SG1's next mission. They were heading out to study a black hole and Sam was practically salivating to get all of the details. By the time they were escorting her back to her lab Sam realized that they were leaving it up to her to discuss yesterday's incident and that made her feel safe enough to being up the topic.

As the elevator doors closed in front of them she confided, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I promise it won't happen again. I'm weaning myself off the pain pills. I know it won't be easy but I refuse to let them take over my life again," she admitted.

Jack couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in surprise at the 'again' portion of the statement. Seeing it Sam sighed. "I was addicted at 15. After three years spent mostly in the hospital and multiple operations it wasn't surprising. My dad shipped me off to a facility for two months but as soon as I got out I was back on the pills. If it hadn't been for Margaret Hammond I might not have made it."

They reached their level at that confession, and she quickly turned to the two men before stepping out of the elevator. "Nobody besides General Hammond and Dr. Fraiser knows that," she told them.

"We wouldn't dream of saying a word, Sam," Lou assured her, and Jack nodded his agreement.

Sam gave them a little smile and headed for her lab. As she entered the door she turned to Jack. "I don't suppose there's any way I could stow away with SG1 tomorrow, is there?" she teased.

"We'd have trouble fitting the crutches into a backpack, I'm afraid," he replied with a smile. "Don't worry. The entire event is being recorded. You'll have enough data to write another book," he consoled.

"Of course we'd have to shoot her if she did," Tobias chimed in as she exited her lab. The words were spoken in a teasing tone, but the look that accompanied it was anything but friendly.

Sam just smiled. "True, but just think of the posthumous fame I'd achieve!" she exclaimed before leaving the three in the corridor and giving an awkward little bow as she backed into her lab.

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Three days later Sam hesitated briefly out in a corridor several levels down from her lab as she prepared herself to meet the young girl that SG1 had found as the lone survivor on P8X-987, or Hanka as the locals called it. Behind her was an SF with some supplies she had requested. Taking a deep breath she knocked and waited for Dr. Fraiser to open the door. She barely glanced at the woman before her eyes moved past her to the young girl sitting quietly on the bed. The girl refused to meet her eyes.

Sam turned to Janet to break the ice. "I thought maybe our young friend might be bored and hungry by now."

"I'll bet she is," Janet replied. "Sweetheart, this is Sam, she'd going to sit with you for a while so I can go check on some of my patients," Janet gently told the girl. Then in a soft voice for Sam's ears only she relayed the most current information. "She's still not talking. I don't even know her name," she frowned.

A moment later the SF had set down the things Sam brought with her, and the two were alone. Sam sat herself down at the table and spread some paper and crayons. "I figured this room could use a little brightening up. I'm not much of an artist, but I'll try to draw something. There is juice and some snacks if you are hungry," she explained. Then she sat and quietly started to draw.

After a few minutes the young girl sat up and watched. Before long she scooted over to get a better view of what Sam was drawing.

"It's not very good, but it's me going through the Stargate. I've never actually been able to do that. Was it scary?" Sam asked.

The girl gave a little shrug. Sam kept drawing in silence. She knew from past experience that the girl would talk when she was ready. When she felt safe. A few minutes later she joined Sam at the table pulling up her own chair and reached for some paper and crayons. Soon they were both drawing in companionable silence. When Sam got up to get herself some juice she poured a glass for her young charge and was pleased to see her drink some. Later when Sam reached for one of the half sandwiches she placed another within reach of the girl and that too was accepted and eaten. Finally they had both drawn several pictures and Sam picked up one of the girl's to see it. There was a picture of bodies laying on the ground and one lone figure standing off by herself. Sam reached for one of her own pictures that showed a similar scene.

"My family all went away when I was younger too," she simply stated.

The young girl nodded solemnly. Then she spoke in a whisper. "I'm Cassandra."

"I'm Sam, it's nice to meet you Cassandra," Sam replied.

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Sam wrapped her arms around Cassie and whispered words of comfort in her ear as she felt the girl shiver. The bunker wasn't really chilly but the atmosphere was gloomy especially since Claire Tobias had departed a few minutes ago. Suddenly the intercom blasted through the silence.

"Dr. Carter, Tobias just informed me that you are not in the elevator. You have your orders," Jack O'Neill bellowed.

Sam winced. If she was right and the bomb didn't go off she was going to have to face his wrath. If she was wrong it wouldn't matter. As his voice interrupted again she realized she was going to have to deal with him now no matter what the outcome.

"Sam, what's going on down there?" he pleaded.

Sam reluctantly let go of Cassie and moved over to the intercom on the wall. She pushed the button as she wracked her brain trying to come up with an explanation that wouldn't further terrify the young girl.

"She's conscious Colonel," she finally settled on, and she knew by the quiet curse from the other end that he understood. He wasn't happy, but he understood.

Sam moved back to Cassie and took her in her arms.

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Back at the top of facility Jack O'Neill was staring at the intercom in frustration. He could understand Sam's feelings in not wanting to abandon Cassandra when she was awake, but damn it, he refused to accept that Sam could die. For a split second he considered calling her back and begging her to head to the surface, but before he could do anything so foolish Tobias arrived via elevator.

"We'd better clear the area, Sir," she reminded him.

Jack looked at his watch. It was already too late for Sam. "Go all of you," he ordered.

Tobias and Daniel began to head for the entrance but Teal'c didn't budge, instinctively knowing that Jack would not move until it was over. Daniel upon realizing the same thing turned back.

"We need to GO," Tobias demanded.

"Go Captain," Jack ordered again. "You too, Daniel."

They both noted that he didn't bother telling Teal'c to leave. Daniel left with Tobias, but was back in a minute without a word, unconsciously holding his breath as Jack counted down the last few seconds. He reached zero and nothing happened. The three men looked at each other.

"I didn't feel anything, did you?" Jack as hopefully.

Both Teal'c and Daniel shook their heads in the negative. As Jack reached for the intercom Tobias arrived back at their side.

"It should have happened by now," she stated.

Jack reached out and activated the intercom.

"Sam?" he asked and was surprised when his voice cracked. He cleared his throat. "Sam? What's going on down there?" he repeated.

There was a momentary pause and you could have heard a pin drop as SG1 waited. Then the intercom cracked to life.

"We're fine. Nothing happened," came the relieved reply.

From behind him Jack heard Daniel exclaim 'yes' softly. He himself let out the breath that he was holding and glanced at Tealc' who was actually smiling. Only Tobias was staring at her watch with a frown.

She finally thought out load, "I don't think we miscalculated, but perhaps we should wait a bit," she offered.

She looked up to find all three men glaring at her. "Or not," she added.

Jack reached for the intercom. "Sam, you two head on up and we'll get out of here," he ordered.

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TBC


	9. Forward progress?

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam sat on her couch in the growing darkness, tears running down her cheeks unchecked. Two hours ago she'd met with the powers that controlled Cassandra's future fully expecting to be granted custody of the young girl. They'd denied her request. Worse yet, they'd denied it because someone from the SGC had not only reported her current use of painkillers, they had also pointed the investigators to Sam's juvenile records where they had uncovered her previous addiction. It was now public record, which would probably prevent her from ever being able to adopt a child in the future.

Now she was torn between grief over losing any last chance she'd had of having children and worry for Cassie's future. Hammond and Fraiser had been at the meeting and she knew that even now they were scrambling to come up with an alternative guardian for the young girl. Under other circumstances she would be assisting, but Hammond had ordered her home and she hadn't argued.

She was brought out of her current daze by the sound of loud knocking on her door, and taking a quick moment to wipe her face and control herself she went to answer fully intending to tell whomever was there that she didn't want any company. But Jack O'Neill didn't even give her a chance to protest as he pushed his way into the house and shut the door. Without a word he wrapped his arms around her and that was all it took for to once again lose her control and begin sobbing.

When Sam calmed down a bit she found that Jack had moved the two of them to the couch and she was sitting curled into him while he rubbed her back and murmured words of comfort. She could swear that a moment before he had kissed her forehead. She should have been embarrassed. After all, their relationship hadn't really progressed beyond those few 'dates' before the latest set of crises had put a hold on things moving forward. Instead she found that she felt safe and strangely comfortable in his arms and despite everything that brought a small smile to her face.

"I've probably ruined your shirt," she said with a final sniff as she sat up to reach for the Kleenex.

"It's just a shirt Sam," he replied. "I'm much more concerned about you."

"I guess you heard," she evaded.

"Hammond called me into the powwow so I could start an investigation into the security breach," Jack acknowledged. "Once I got the ball rolling on the other end I thought I should talk to you. See if you had any ideas about who would have a grudge against you," he said. "And truthfully I didn't want you to be alone at a time like this."

She nodded her appreciation. "Thanks."

"You know Sam, maybe this just wasn't meant to be. You have a very important job right now, and you are young still. There will be plenty of time to start a family," Jack offered.

Sam hesitated only a moment. She doubted Jack was being anything more than a friend at this point, but she needed to be honest and this was the opening she'd been looking for. She raised her head and looked him in the eye taking a deep breath.

"I can't have kids," she confessed.

There was moment of confusion followed by realization followed by shock. Jack literally didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry," was all that came out, although it seemed totally inadequate.

Sam's walls, which had crumbled earlier, were beginning to reassert themselves. She'd been foolish to allow herself to hope for anything more than what she had, a career she loved and friends who cared about her were more than a lot of people had. She certainly didn't need anyone's pity.

"It's ok. I guess I'm just one of those people who don't get to be part of a family," she shrugged.

Jack's heart dropped at her words. They were so identical to how he had felt after he'd let his family fall apart. And he still on some level felt that way. But Sam did not deserve to feel that alone. So he let down his normal wall of reserve just a bit.

"Sam, I want you to listen to me. There is one thing I've learned over the course of the last two years. There is more than one type of family. I had the traditional family, and I won't lie to you. It was wonderful. Looking back I didn't appreciate what I had, and I was careless with it. And I lost it. I thought I didn't deserve to be part of a family. But I was wrong. Because now I have a new family. It's slightly dysfunctional, highly unusual, but a family none the less. SG1, Lou, Doc Fraiser, and an extremely bright theoretical astrophysicist, you all are my family now. Hell, even Hammond. And we are yours," Jack informed her.

Sam looked at him with wide eyes for a moment and then a small smile formed. "I think that's the longest speech I've ever heard you give," she acknowledged. "And you are right. You are all my family now. Well except maybe Captain Tobias. I think she would rather keep me out of the family," Sam admitted with a twinkle in her eye.

"There is one in every family, Sam," Jack told her with a shrug. "My great aunt Gladys hated my mom. She constantly found fault with her. Funny thing, when Gladys' health failed my mom was the only one she could stand to have take care of her," Jack remembered.

"I'll take your word for it," Sam said, then added a warning with a grin. "But I hope you are not expecting me to take care of Tobias if she gets sick or hurt."

Glad to see a bit of the sparkle back in her eye, Jack hated to bring up the other topic that Hammond had asked him to broach, but knew that it had to be done.

"Sam, there is one more thing. They found someone to take Cassie, but they want your blessing," he told her placing an arm around her shoulders to offer support.

"Oh," Sam said instantly sobering. "Is it someone I know?"

"You could say that. Janet agreed to take Cassie in and see how it goes. If everything works out then she'll make the arraignment permanent. But she won't do it if you don't agree," Jack assured her.

"Janet?" Sam questioned. "Is she sure? Because if she's not it would be better if Cassandra goes to someone who really wants her."

"Oh, I think she really wants her, she's just afraid of hurting your feelings," Jack told her.

"Really? Because I think she would be a great choice. We could maybe even see Cassie occasionally," Sam speculated with a bit of hope in her voice.

"Maybe? I think the Doc is counting on it. She said something about making us all honorary aunts and uncles so that Cassie would have lots of people around who love her," Jack confessed.

At that Sam gave Jack a huge smile. "Aunt Sam, I would like that. So do you think this family can handle another member?" she teased.

"Most definitely," Jack chuckled. "Once you have one alien, the second has to be easier to cope with," he replied.

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Jack stayed with her that evening. After having Sam call back to base and speak to Janet to assure her that she was pleased with the idea of the Doctor taking in Cassie they'd ordered pizza and shared a few beers while they watched a movie. After the second beer Sam had relaxed enough to sneak glances at the man beside her. Over the past several days he'd learned the worst of her deep dark secrets and had barely batted an eye. She wished she knew what he thought about it all. The fact that he was still herewas encouraging, but was it out of pity, friendship, or more?

When the movie ended, Jack helped clear away the rubbish, and then turned to Sam who had been strangely quiet.

"So, I was thinking. SG1 has three days off starting Friday. I thought maybe we could go out for dinner at that new Italian place over near Daniel's place, then on Saturday see if Fraiser and Cassie want to go to the park or something," he suggested.

"Dinner with SG1 sounds fine. And I would love to see Cassie," Sam agreed.

Jack paused and looked at her in amusement. "Not SG1, Sam. You and I for dinner, like for a date," he clarified.

"Oh!" Sam exclaimed blushing slightly in embarrassment. "I wasn't sure….," she faded out not really wanting to admit what she'd thought.

"My fault. I'm sort of rusty at this whole dating thing. But before Hathor and everything, well, I thought we were heading in this direction," Jack said with a shrug.

"We were, but I wasn't sure if you still wanted that," Sam confessed, unable to meet his eyes.

Jack studied the woman in front of him carefully. Could she really think he would no longer be interested? Because she couldn't have kids? He sure wasn't expecting to get a second chance in that department anyway. And as for the rest, he'd be a real hypocrite if he was put off by her past addiction. Hell he'd done the whole popping pain pills routine twice in his career. Luckily he'd had Sara both times to make sure that it didn't get out of control. Of course Sam didn't know that, because he'd never talked to her about it.

Actually come to think about it he'd never really said anything to her before all of this to let her know how he felt about anything. He hadn't even indicated how much he'd been enjoying her company. He'd certainly never said anything about how that kiss in the locker room was on his mind whenever they were together. Being a man of action, he decided there was just one thing to do. Reaching out he put his hand under her chin and brought her face around to look at him.

A second later his lips brushed against hers and then he moved back a fraction to see her reaction. Sam eyes widened in surprise and then she looked directly at his lips, which he took as approval, and he kissed her again, this time with more feeling.

When they finally parted he paused only a minute before grinning, "I definitely still want this," he told her. Then just as abruptly he headed for the door stopping only to assure her, "I'll see you tomorrow."

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They'd had their date on Friday night and their day out with Cassie. They'd even had a second date Sunday evening. Both dates had ended with kisses at Sam's front door, neither of them really wanting to rush anything, but both enjoying the time they spent together. Sam was still in a cast, but beyond that she knew that a more physical relationship would be another hurdle entirely. Sex for her was rarely a totally pleasurable experience, marred often by pain. Still she had to admit there was a big part of her that couldn't wait to get rid of the crutches and cast.

Jack wasn't without his own insecurities. Oh, he was pretty confident in his abilities, but he was a lot older than Sam, and couldn't help but think that eventually that might become an issue. His hair was definitely going grey, and his knees weren't exactly up to romantically sweeping a pretty young thing like Sam off of her feet. Still, he could resist those big blue eyes at the end of an evening, not to mention those lips that practically begged to be kissed. Remembering back to the panic he'd felt when Sam had been down in that bunker with Cassie he was forced to be honest with himself.

Where Sam Carter was concerned he was already pretty much already a goner.

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Jack and Sam stood at the front door of Ferretti's house, both unwilling to press the bell and confront the woman inside with the news that they had. Lou was missing and had been for three days. Since Margie wasn't expecting him back until today they had waited until the last possible moment to tell her rather than worry her unnecessarily.

It was an odd string of events that had brought them here, all beginning with Cassie catching her first Earth cold. She'd quickly passed it on to both Janet and Sam, who had ultimately passed it along to Jack (which had resulted in no end of teasing especially from Lou). Jack had been grounded until his fever abated, and that's when Lou had gotten pay-back for his teasing, as SG1's scheduled mission had been reassigned to SG2.

Not five minutes after they went through the Stargate, there was an unauthorized off-world activation and the two youngest members of the team, Morris and Jones, came flying back through. Jones was unconscious but before succumbing himself, Morris managed to relay that they had been under heavy fire from distant energy weapons as soon as they had arrived on the planet. Ferretti had ordered them back out, and they had all gone through, Ferretti and his science office Captain Thomas in the rear.

"They were right behind us General, I swear," Morris insisted as he was loaded onto a gurney and finally passed out.

Jack and Hammond had looked at the now dormant Stargate in confusion, and then turned to Sam in the control room, "Well where are they then?"

She had no answers for them then, nor was she any closer to figuring it out now three days later. With a sigh she met Jack's eyes and then reached out to press the doorbell.

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An hour later Jack had gone back to the base alone while Sam had stayed for a bit with Margie. Lou's mother was on her way over, and Sam had offered to stay until she got there. After making some coffee and regaining some sense of calm Margie looked at her friend with a question in her eyes.

"How do you do it, Sam?" She finally asked.

Sam looked at her in confusion.

"How do you stay so calm when Jack goes off on missions," she clarified. Then she paused in thought. "I guess it helps that at least you know where he is."

"Not really," Sam murmured, but it was loud enough for Margie to hear apparently because now she looked confused. "It's just that knowing means I also know exactly how dangerous the mission is. And Jack and his team always get the dangerous ones," Sam admitted with a grimace. "That's why Jack feels so guilty. It should have been his team this time too, but he had that damn cold."

"Thank your lucky stars," Margie reminded her.

Mrs. Ferretti arrived at that point and after a few minutes of introductions and reiterating the situation, Sam left, but her conversation with Margie over the dangers Lou and Jack faced still weighed heavily on her mind, and she had to ask herself just how smart was it to get involved with Jack O'Neill. She was setting herself up to lose someone she cared for again, and she wasn't really sure she would survive it this time.

The question wasn't one that would be easily answered, especially since she had a sneaking suspicion that it might be too late for common sense to dictate her feelings for Jack O'Neill.

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TBC


	10. Crossroads

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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The missing men were back and all of the SGC was breathing a sigh of relief, none more so than Sam. Miraculously they were both in pretty good shape too. Ed Thomas had a broken arm he'd gotten when he landed after being thrown out of the Stargate at great speed. Lou had various scrapes and a broken ankle obtained during a spectacular slide down over the ice after he'd tried to climb out of the cave they were in to get help. Both were a bit dehydrated and had a touch of frostbite on their extremities. Nothing that wouldn't heal.

Sam thought back to the moment that she and Daniel had felt the slight tremor as the two men had tried to dial in. It wasn't that often that she got to work with the archeologist, but once again she marveled at the way his mind worked. A simple 'what if' and the two of them had both realized that the officers were probably on Earth. By the time Lou was climbing to the surface to try Plan B choppers were already zeroing in on their location. If he'd stayed topside a few more minutes he would have seen them. As it was he disturbed enough of the area around the cave to help the rescue crew spot the opening and use it to get down to the two men more quickly.

After a quick checkup at McMurdo, the two had been flown back to Peterson, and finally transported back to the SGC infirmary. Sam had barely waited for permission before she had gone in to check on Lou herself. After assuring herself that all was well she had stepped out to call Margie telling her Lou would call soon, then gone straight back to the infirmary only to find a real crowd. Janet quickly shooed them all out and Sam resigned herself to catching up with her friend the next day.

The next several days ended up being extremely hectic however. Sam barely had time to stop in and see Lou, and only was able to catch a quick lunch with Jack as she helped organize the recovery of the newly discovered Stargate. It was five days before she and Lou finally got to actually have a conversation. SG1 was off-world, and Lou had been released from the infirmary and was going to be taking some leave while his ankle healed, so they had a nice long lunch before he left the base. Sam got updated on the mission and the wedding plans and they she had just finished giving him the full version of how she and Dr. Jackson had figured out where he and Thomas were when there was an unscheduled-off-world activation. It ended up being SG1. Or at least what appeared to be SG1.

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She wasn't allowed to see him, and that was probably a good thing. Because every time she let herself think about it for more than a second she wanted cry, or scream, or hit something. Did fate have it in for her? She finally finds a guy who isn't put off by her brains or her disability or her inability to have kids, a guy who is sexy and good to her on top of all that, and he gets turned into a robot?

She knew it wasn't a good idea to get involved with Jack O'Neill.

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Everything was once again back to normal at the SGC. SG1, the real ones, had returned, and the robots were safely tucked away with Harlan on P3X-989. The debriefing had been long and exhausting, the physicals even more so. Through it all Jack had only wanted to go home, have a beer and pizza and stretch out on his couch to watch TV, preferably with Sam at his side. He tried not to think about his double, stuck on that planet with just the rest of his team and Harlan as company for all eternity. Maybe if Sam Carter had been included in the group it would be tolerable. But he just knew the other him was going to go nuts within a few months.

Thinking of Sam made him frown. He'd seen her briefly when he'd first returned but she'd been nowhere around since then. He'd just been given the all clear to leave and his mission now was to find his errant girlfriend and hit the road.

An hour later he was heading home alone. Sam had left for the day, and he had been unable to reach her at her apartment or on her cell. When he arrived home there was brief message on his machine letting him know she was glad he was back safely, and telling him that she'd see him the next day on base. Jack and all of SG1 had been given the next day off so despite several phone calls, all voicemails, back and forth it would be two days later before he would finally see her.

Sam was eating lunch with Janet when she felt a presence behind her. She stiffened knowing it would be Jack. They made awkward small talk, and then when Jack left the table to go get his food, Sam quickly made her excuses and left, causing Jack to watch her retreating back in confusion.

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"She's definitely avoiding me," Jack announced to his friend two days later.

"Yeah, I figured," Lou replied.

"Please tell me you have a clue what I did wrong, cause I gotta tell you Ferretti, I 'm at a loss," Jack sighed.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Jack. It's just that I'm afraid this last incident reminded Sam of things she'd rather not think about," Lou told him.

Jack O'Neill might play dumb, but he was far from it, and he caught onto what Lou was saying quickly.

"She's afraid of losing someone close to her again," he stated.

"Close to her she might be able to handle. Someone she loves? I think one more of those will destroy her," Lou agreed. "So she's taking protective measures. She's refusing to let herself fall in love. Especially with someone who risks his life on a daily basis," Lou pointed out.

Jack frowned. He could understand that, really he could. Problem was he'd already fallen hard, and he wasn't really ready to give up on the two of them.

Lou could see the determination setting in, and gave Jack a warning. "I wouldn't push her at this point Jack. She'll just pull away even further. Right now she needs to know that you will stand by her as a friend, and wait for her to be ready for anything else."

He didn't like it, but Jack realized he had no choice. He certainly didn't want to lose Sam for good, and he didn't want to cause her any pain.

So for now he'd back off.

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Two weeks passed. Eventually as Sam realized that Jack wasn't going to press the issue she began to relax and stop avoiding him. She joined him and the rest of SG1 for lunch, and the two even talked a few times on the phone. During one conversation she apologized.

"I'm sorry," she declared apropos of nothing they had been discussing previously.

"Why?" Jack asked, although he thought he knew.

"For being such a coward, I guess," she admitted with a soft sigh.

"Sam there are a lot of words I would use to describe you. Coward is not one of them," he assured her.

"Thank you, but it's true. I'm afraid of intimacy for a lot of reasons," she admitted. "Not the least of which is the fear of being left alone again."

"So you choose to be alone to start with?" Jack asked her.

"There are different types of alone. To me companionship and friendship are more important that anything else. I've found that, and for the first time in a long time I'm happy," she said in self -defense.

"Happy or content?" Jack challenged unable to let things lie like he'd promised himself to.

"Happy," she retorted beginning to get really angry. "You think that a woman can't be happy without a man in her life?" she questioned.

"That's not what I said," he protested.

"You implied it. Maybe if I were a normal woman I would desire everything that implies. But I'm not. I don't see marriage and certainly not kids in my future. So let's not beat around the bush. I like you Jack. I care about you. But I don't think it would be a good thing for either of us to try to take this relationship any further than good friends," she concluded.

"I'm not sure I can do just friends," he confessed.

"That's all I can offer," she told him sadly.

Then the line went dead before he could say anything further.

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Two days later SG1 was off on a mission. Jack was tempted to leave without even seeing Sam, but that was childish and a bit cowardly, so he stopped by her lab as was his habit on mission day to say goodbye. If she was surprised to see him she didn't let it show, and when SG1 went through the gate she made sure she was in the control room to wave them off. All three men returned her gesture. Tobias looked resolutely ahead not even acknowledging her.

Sam signed in relief as they passed through the event horizon. She would worry about her friends as she always did when they were out there, but for the moment she could only feel like the weight of the world had just lifted from her shoulders. The tension between she and Jack had been a strain over the last couple of weeks and she was looking forward to a few days to find her feet. Hopefully when SG1 returned they could go back to being friends again.

Little did she realize how things would be changing when SG1 finally returned.

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It started with SG1 reporting that Daniel was missing. Since there was no sign of a struggle, they assumed he had wandered off. Then he was found and the real strangeness began. He'd been shot by a staff blast, but there were no Jaffa anywhere around.

Daniel's explanation when he regained consciousness did little to resolve the mystery. His story of an alternate universe confused everyone, except Sam who was fascinated and couldn't stop asking questions. Although Jack got hung up on the fact that the Sam and Jack of Daniel's story were engaged, Sam wanted to know every little detail. The fact that she had never been in the car accident was what finally shut her up. Her mind couldn't even fathom what life would be like without the limp and constant pain. No wonder that Sam was more open to a relationship with her Jack. She escaped from the conversation as quickly as she could without being too obvious and went to her lab to think through what she had learned.

Over the next few days the SGC was a hive of activity. Senator Kinsey's visit was keeping everyone busy and they didn't really notice that Sam barely stepped foot out of her lab. Even in her seclusion she didn't have any problem keeping up on the news and the she knew before Hammond came to see her that the SGC was shutting down. The news caused her to fall into a deep depression.

She been having trouble coping with the thought of that other Sam, and her life, and subsequent death, and had been alternately feeling sorry for herself and blessed that her SGC was still safe. Now however she faced finding another job far from all of the friends she had made here and she thought maybe that other Sam had gotten the better end of the deal. A quick death seemed preferable to starting over once again. Not to mention that her doctors had set a deadline of six months for her to have a hip replacement. Every time she thought of another long hospital stay she had to force herself to take long steady breaths to keep from panicking.

On top of everything she was quickly coming to the realization that her biggest fear was never seeing Jack again. He was talking about retiring and heading up to Minnesota. Hammond had talked to her about reassignment to either Area 51 or the Pentagon. She had chosen the Pentagon figuring she still had a few old friends in DC and she knew the doctors and hospitals there well. Trips to Minnesota would be out of the question especially once she had her surgery.

All of that factored into the decision she made next. When she overheard the argument in Tobias' lab she had no problem making up her mind as to what she should do.

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It was Daniel's raised voice that caught her attention. She'd rarely heard him yell so she moved towards the corridor to see what was up. It took her a minute to catch onto what he was talking about, but when he realized that he was warning them that Apophis was probably heading to Earth just like in the other reality she couldn't move away. Jack tried to calm him down, but finally even he and Teal'c seemed to waver as Daniel appealed to them with logic. Only Tobias remained totally unconvinced. As it became apparent that the rest of her teammates might be considering actually taking action she put her foot down.

"Have you three totally lost all of your senses? I'm not taking part in any hair-brained scheme that will do nothing but get us thrown in the brig. _I_ still have a career ahead of _me_," she declared as she stormed out of her lab.

The three men were quiet for a moment then Jack spoke.

"Daniel, even if we wanted to attempt something, we would need someone like Tobias to scuttle security. Someone with authorization to get us past the iris and dial the gate," Jack pointed out.

"You can dial the gate," Daniel protested.

"Maybe, but I can't bypass the security. I doubt I'd get down to the gate before all hell broke loose," Jack said with a sigh.

At that point Sam stepped out of shadows of her lab doorway.

"I could do it," she offered.

When all three men swung to look at her in surprise she gave a wry little grin. "_I _sure as hell don't have a career to worry about anymore," she shrugged.

Jack was the first to protest. "We couldn't do that to you Sam. You couldn't come with and you'd be left to take the brunt of the punishment."

"I'll think of something," she assured them.

And they believed her.

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TBC


	11. Time To Take Action

Author's note:

Sorry for the delay. Real life can be such a headache! On the plus side it was only a one day wait!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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The plan came together quickly, especially after Sam got her cast off and Lou Ferretti stepped in to help. He'd been watching in the wings and guessed something was up. Jack's warning that this was probably a suicide mission fell on deaf ears. There was no way he was letting Jack take this on with only a Jaffa and archeologist as backup.

Before the men left Sam knew there was something she needed to do. She waited until they had stowed the gear they would need into a storage room near the gate and the cameras were shut down in that sector and then managed to get Jack alone and pull him into a nearby empty office. As they stood and looked at each other there were a million things she wanted to say, but taking a page out of the Jack O'Neill book of relationships she decided words would be a waste of time and simply pulled him in for a toe curling kiss.

When they parted Jack looked her in the eyes and she knew that her message had been received. She'd be waiting when he returned, so he'd better not get his ass killed.

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The execution of the plan worked flawlessly. Jack, Teal'c, Lou and Daniel made it through the gate, and Sam managed to hide in a darkened corner of Hammond's office until the General and several SF's stormed into the control room. Then she silently limped off to her lab where she stayed locked away awaiting the inevitable phone call. She'd signed out earlier in the day, so when Hammond was looking for her he called home. She had forwarded that phone to go directly to her lab. She told the General she would be back at the base as quickly as possible.

The one flaw was her inability to sign back in. When she had signed out Daniel had created a diversion so that the guard on level ten never noticed that she hadn't actually left. She hoped that in all of the confusion no one would look too closely at sign in activity after the four men had deserted.

For an entire day she held her breath. Of course at first suspicion fell on Tobias but luckily for her she had an iron clad alibi. She immediately pointed the investigators to Sam. The phone call home threw them off the scent initially, but Samuels was relentless and eventually they noticed the discrepancy in the sign-in log.

And that was how she ended up in a cell accused of treason. Luckily they kept her on base so she was at least able to keep up with what was going on with Apophis' ships. Not that any of the news relieved her mind, especially when she learned they were sending up a couple of nuclear warheads. At least she had the satisfaction of totally frustrating Kinsey, Samuels and the rest of the goon squad.

Sam Carter was very accomplished at keeping her mouth shut.

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At one point Janet Fraiser went directly to Hammond to protest the treatment Sam was receiving. Samuels was having her dragged from the cell every six hours to see if she would talk, and was refusing her any form of pain relief. Sam, actually in pain from alternately pacing the cell and trying to sleep on the narrow cot provided had stopped eating and was on the verge of collapsing. Hammond immediately rescinded the order to withhold pain medication. With Samuels being occupied with trying to blow up the ships Sam took the medication without protest and pretended to get some sleep. In reality she had palmed the pills and was anxiously listening to the conversations between the guards.

When she heard that the bomb hadn't worked she relaxed a bit, took half a dose of the pain medications and was able to get a few hours of sleep. When she woke up she still wasn't eating or talking. Rumors were swirling that Dr. Jackson had appeared through the Stargate but that the others were still on Apophis' ship. An hour later a huge cheer went up and it was Janet who informed her that both of the Goa'uld ships had exploded into bright balls of flames. There was no word on survivors, but the shuttle had been sent up to survey the area. Sam nodded to indicate she understood, but remained curled up in a ball on the cot. She still wasn't eating and of course refused to speak a word to anyone. Janet made it her job to take care of Sam as best she could, but mostly she prayed that the three men would make it back alive. That would be the best medicine Sam could receive.

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The celebration in the gateroom was noisy and joyous. Still even in the middle of greeting Daniel with a relieved grin Jack was looking around for someone who was obviously missing. As soon as he could get a word in he looked at Hammond.

"Where's Sam?" he asked.

He knew instantly something was wrong as Hammond refused to look him in the eye.

"Where is she?" he repeated looking at Samuels with a glare that made the other Colonel take a step backwards.

Tobias was more than happy to tell. "She wasn't as smart as you all think. She got caught out in her lies pretty easily and thrown in the brig."

Jack, Teal'c Lou and Daniel all turned to Samuels knowing that Hammond wasn't really to blame.

"Don't just stand there Sparky, lead us to her, and let's get her out of there," Jack ordered as calmly as he could.

"There is a matter of the charges against her," Samuels began, only to find himself struggling for breath as he dangled above the ground.

"Teal'c let him go. I'm sure Sparky was just going to say that he would handle getting all those pesky charges dropped seeing as Sam helped save the planet," Jack demanded.

As Samuels regained his breath he looked at the faces around him and realized he was without backup.

"Certainly… I'll get right on it," he agreed. And he led the way to the holding cell where Sam was being detained and gave the order for her to be let go.

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They went as a group to get her. As soon as Simmons had given the order he left along with the SF who was guarding her. Hammond was smart enough to hang back and simply watch. Which left Sam to greet her friends in relative privacy. She hugged each of them in turn, leaving Jack until last. And if she held onto him a bit tighter and longer than the rest, well nobody was going bring it up. Just like none of them mentioned the fact that she seemed to have lost weight in just the few days they were gone, or that they could each have sworn that she trembled when they hugged her.

They did however all share a concerned look when she walked out of the room and they noticed the pronounced limp. All eyes turned to Hammond, who Sam had walked past without being able to meet his eyes.

"Is there something you need to tell us sir?" Jack finally asked.

"Go get cleared by the doctors and get showered. We'll debrief in an hour," Hammond told them.

"This should be interesting," Daniel commented as they headed out.

"Yeah, they can give us our medals and our court marshals for striking a superior officer at the same time," Lou quipped. "Cause I think I'm going to kill Samuels."

"I believe you will need to wait your turn," Teal'c agreed.

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When they gathered in the conference room Sam was conspicuously absent.

"Isn't Carter joining us?" Jack asked.

"I didn't think she would be needed," Hammond admitted.

"Well I hope you don't have any questions on how we got out of here, because she's the only one who understands what all was done to the computers," Lou pointed out.

Hammond nodded thoughtfully then turned to the Sergeant assisting him. "Please have Doctor Carter paged to the briefing room," he requested.

In the mean time they began in on their story from the moment they arrived on what had turned out to be Aphosis' ship. They were most of the way through the story when Sgt. Herriman returned with the message that Dr. Carter had left the facility, boxes in tow. She had left her badge with the guard at the surface.

She obviously had no intentions of coming back.

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Jack left the base as quickly as he could and much quicker than was legal was at Sam's front door. She had changed into jeans and a comfy oversized sweater, which made her look about sixteen. Jack mentally shook off the desire to take her in his arms and not let go and instead let himself study her with a concerned eye.

"Have you eaten?" he finally asked.

Her eyes widened in surprise obviously not expecting that to be what was on his mind. Reluctantly she shook her head no.

"I'll order Chinese," he said simply pulling out his cell phone.

He moved into the house as he spoke and made himself comfortable in one of the chairs. After hanging up he looked at her standing in the doorway leaning heavily against the jamb.

"Come sit down before you fall down," he insisted.

She wanted to protest but she really did need to sit, so she limped over to the couch and sat down, and waited for him to say something.

The words when they came once again surprised her. "I'm sorry," he told her.

At her look of confusion, Jack sighed. "I should never have let you talk us into helping and then staying behind. We put you in an impossible position and I'm sorry."

Sam swallowed and cleared her throat. She'd maintained a resolute silence for days so now her voice was a bit rusty and she wanted to be very clear about what she was about to say. "It was my choice. I don't blame you. I'm just glad you all made it back safe and sound. That was the hardest part. Sitting in that damn cell imagining all of the terrible things that could be happening to the four of you out there. When I heard they were sending the nuclear warhead I just about lost it," she admitted.

"Yeah, well we were kind of glad that little stunt failed in the long run," Jack admitted.

"So start from the beginning. I want to hear the whole story," Sam requested.

It took an hour for him to get through it all, interrupted once to get the Chinese food when it arrived. As he was winding down he passed Sam the fried rice and their fingers met briefly. He wasn't surprised at the fire that raced through his body at the touch, but he was given pause by the way Sam was trembling.

"Sam you are shaking. Are you ok?" he asked moving to the couch.

When he reached out she took in a big shaky breath and shook her head. "No," she whispered and the next thing he knew she had flung herself at him and was holding on for dear life. Her entire body was trembling and he wrapped his arms around her to try to hold her still.

"God, Sam what's wrong?" he demanded.

She didn't know where to start. How could she explain the pain she had felt at the thought of loosing her two best friends, or more to the point at the thought of loosing him. How her life, which had become so much fuller and richer in the last year, had suddenly stretched ahead of her like a black hole filled only with pain. How she hadn't cared about spending the rest of her life in a cell because she'd realized that without him it didn't matter.

How could she explain that despite her best efforts she had let people into her heart and now she was scared to death.

Or tell him that she didn't want to be alone anymore but that she had no clue how to take that first step.

So for long minutes she clung to him and let his warmth and the sound of his heart under her cheek sooth her weary soul. Then as her breathing calmed and her shaking subsided she thought perhaps it was like trying to explain science. You started with the basics.

"I thought you were dead," she whispered. "And I wanted to die too."

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TBC


	12. Heaven and Hell

Author's Note:

Well, we've finally reached the chapter that actually was the inspiration for this story. One little 'what if' back in September. Usually the inspiration ends up being the beginning or the end of the story. This one contrarily actually was the middle. Go figure!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Her quiet confession shocked him. Not just because of her admission that she had wanted to die, but because of the depth of caring that admission revealed. Sure he cared for her, but did he love her? He thought back over the last year and how he had felt when she'd been in that bunker with Cassandra.

Hell yeah, he loved her. The thought caused a slow smile to start and he pulled back to look Sam in the eyes.

"So does that mean…?" he started hopefully.

Sam sniffed and gave a little shrug. "It would appear I failed miserable in my attempt not to fall in love with you," she admitted.

Jack swooped in to kiss her and just before his lips claimed hers he whispered, "Thank God!"

After that there was very little talking.

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Much later they lay in a tangle heap. Jack was tracing lazy circles on Sam's back. For her part she was staying very still knowing that movement when it came was going to be painful. But she would gladly put up with the pain for it would be the result of incredible pleasure.

Not that their first time together had been perfect. Her body was too broken for her to comfortably have sex in some of the more conventional positions. Her joints, especially her left hip just refused to cooperate. Luckily Jack was open to suggestions and trying new things and he had a few tricks of his own that he'd been more than happy to use to bring her to climax, something she'd always had trouble achieving during intercourse before.

So she waited for Jack's breathing to even out and then she slipped as smoothly as she could from the bed and made her way to the bathroom. She had to stop once and lean against the wall to catch her breath but soon she was able to get a muscle relaxer from the medicine chest and was in the shower with hot water running to work out the stiffness.

Little did she know that Jack watched her get up and move with more than a little bit of concern in his eyes. When he heard the shower start though he decided to help her undo the damage he was partially responsible for. Soon he'd slipped into the shower with her and was using those talented hands once again, first to massage her back and thighs where he knew she was hurting, then to once again bring her to an incredible orgasm.

After all, endorphins are a very effective pain reliever.

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They didn't tell anyone about the change in their relationship, but when the order to close down the SGC was rescinded and Hammond came to Sam begging her to return it was Jack who finally convinced her that she should accept.

"All of your friends are there, and if you really need more surgery you might as well get the Air Force to pay for it," he pointed out. "Besides, I would miss not seeing you every day on base. Who am I going to bug when I get bored?"

"Tobias?" Sam suggested with a twinkle in her eye.

Jack shuddered. "She asked for a transfer. She'd going to Nevada to work on the alien tech there," he informed her.

"Who are you getting for a forth?" Sam asked.

"I have to find somebody. I don't suppose you'd like to help me slog through a stack of personnel files, would you?" he suggested with a grin.

Sam shrugged. "Sure why not?" she answered surprising him.

"I was just joking. I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to go through that torture," Jack told her.

"It's not a problem. I could at least weed out those that don't have the science background needed. I'm assuming you are looking for someone with some physics background?" she inquired.

"Yeah, much as I hate to admit it we need another Tobias. Just without the attitude. Heaven knows neither Daniel, Teal'c nor I have any knowledge of the science end of things. I still get a headache trying to understand how the gate works," Jack admitted.

"I think you all have probably absorbed more than you realize, but still, if there is a suitable candidate with a physics background it would help round out the team," Sam agreed.

Three days later Jack was relieved to find a stack of six files on his desk. Each folder had a note from Sam and one was marked as her favorite. He read through the six in short order. Sam's comments showed a lot of insight and he was in total agreement with her notes, and her recommendation of Captain Henry Boyd for the opening on SG1. He took that file to Hammond and let him know that he'd come to a decision.

"Don't looked so surprised, Sir," he quipped when Hammond raised an eyebrow at Jack having met the imposed deadline. "I might not see the point in most paperwork, but I take the makeup of my team seriously."

"You got help didn't you, son?" Hammond demanded.

Jack grinned, shrugged and left the office whistling. He really owed Sam a nice romantic dinner out, he thought.

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The romantic dinner had to wait however. Hammond wanted to get SG1 out and testing the waters with their new member quickly so they were given a couple of fairly routine assignments back-to-back. It was on their third mission that the new team came in through the gate under fire and with a rag-tag group of refugees in tow.

Sam was in the control room when the unscheduled off-world activation was announced and saw the first of the dirty and confused and injured people come through. Before Hammond had even made it from his office she'd already called for a med-team. As soon as she was sure that the General had everything under control she made her way slowly down the spiral staircase to assist in organizing those that didn't need medical attention.

The room was in organized chaos ten minutes later when Sam felt something tug on her pant legs. She looked down to see an injured man lying at her feet beckoning her.

"I'll get you help, just hold on," she told him.

But the man was insistent and refused to let go, as he tried to tell her something. Unable to hear over all of the other voices in the room she bent down to try to understand, and suddenly the man grabbed her behind the neck and pulled her in even closer.

A moment later Sam Carter was no longer in control of her body.

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A Tok'ra symbiote normally liked to take its time and let the new host retain control while they blended, making the process less traumatic. But desperate times called for Jolinar to quickly take over so that this new host didn't give away the fact that anything was different.

However once in control, Jolinar was overwhelmed by waves of pain, and actually thought she might have made a grave error in her selection of this woman to hide in. True, her old host had been beyond her help and she herself had been in danger of dying, but this blending was not going well at all. Besides the physical pain the host's mind was fighting her tooth and nail. Already weakened Jolinar whispered a quick explanation to the host and spent a moment numbing the pain. Correcting the problems in the host's body would have to wait until the Tok'ra had gotten some rest.

As for Sam she was confused that the symbiote had actually bothered to reassure her, and distracted by the sudden lessening of pain. As a result she stopped struggling for the moment and sat back to observe. She was further surprised when she felt a bit of gratitude from the snake for the reprieve.

In return, Jolinar could sense that the woman was momentarily savoring the lack of pain and was glad she had at least been able to help her. It made the Tok'ra feel slightly less guilty about taking the body of an unwilling and obviously terrified host. She had no plans of staying in this body longer than was necessary and rationalized that if she could leave 'Samantha' in better shape then before this incident maybe all would be forgiven.

By the end of the day it was a toss up as to which of the two souls inhabiting the body of Samantha Carter was the most tired. Sam for her part had made periodic attempts to overtake the symbiote's control but had just minutes earlier succumbed to sleep in exhaustion. Jolinar had relished the momentary peace. Between Sam's unrelenting attempts to break out into control and the extra effort it took to get the broken body she found herself in to just do simple things like walk, the Tok'ra was almost as exhausted as the host.

Her peace and quiet was short lived however as she was soon dealing with the nightmare that Sam was having. At first all the Tok'ra could make out was the terror of being trapped. Thinking this was caused by the day's events Jolinar whispered reassurance to her host in the hopes of quieting her. But the nightmare began to take a more definite form and suddenly she understood that this was a memory from long ago. The Samantha trapped was much younger and in a lot of pain. There were also others with her.

Jolinar watched the scenes flash by unable to do anything to stop them. There were the moans from the woman next to Samantha that quickly faded to nothing and Sam's tears and grief as she realized that she was now alone. Then there was the sound of men trying to get to her and searing pain as she was freed. Jolinar was glad when the dream came to end as Samantha lost consciousness. She'd had hosts that had been tortured in the past, both before they were joined with her and while they were joined. She was used to pain. But the memory she had been privy to left her feeling drained and with a strange longing to protect this human.

Now there was more than guilt driving Jolinar's determination to fix Samantha Carter's broken body.

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TBC


	13. Run Sam Run

Author's notes:

I'm going to be out of town for a few days. The next update will have to wait until at least Monday… On the plus side that might give me time to get a bit ahead again as I am quickly catching up to the end of what I have edited and almost ready to post.

Happy May!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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The next several days did not go according to anyone's plan. Jolinar did not succeed in escaping the assassin sent after her, the Ashrak did not escape after killing his mark, and Sam was left trying to deal with everything that had happened to her over the past three days and was still going on within her body. Lou and Jack were racked with guilt that they had been unable to protect Sam, putting her in danger, and the rest of SG1 Hammond and Fraiser were left to pick up the pieces of the mess that the whole incident had caused.

Sam for her part was coping the only way she knew how. She had retreated into complete silence. Even a visit from Cassandra got little more than a hug and a few tears in response to the young girl's concern. Not only was Sam not ready to talk about what had occurred, she had another reason to keep quiet. Long ago she had discovered that if you were silent, people tended to forget you were there and talk in front of you. It didn't take long for her to overhear the conversations Fraiser was having with the powers that be reassuring them that the symbiote was really gone. It seemed that everyone up to the President himself remembered how they had been fooled by the Goa'uld in Kawalski over a year ago.

Sam knew if she spoke or moved from the bed that the doubts would be multiplied ten-fold. For Jolinar had kept one promise she had made to Samantha right at the beginning of their joining. She had mended Sam's broken body as best she could. As curious as Sam was to know the full extent of her new mobility she knew instinctively that if the powers that be got hold of that piece of news they would turn her into a lab rat. Colonel Maybourne and his men were due to leave in two days once they were assured by repeated brain scans that the symbiote was gone. Sam would just keep still and mum until then.

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Sam caution paid off the next day when she overheard two of the marines assigned to guard her talking. She kept her eyes closed and her breathing even to give them the impression she was asleep, and listened into their conversation.

"So everything is set for tomorrow?" the taller man asked.

"SG2 will be leaving on a mission at 0900 and Hammond and O'Neill will be called to the Pentagon and be on a flight by 0930," his partner acknowledged. "Fraiser has a staff meeting scheduled for 1100, so transport had been arraigned for 1115 to take Carter and deliver her to a plane at Peterson. The research lab called this morning and they will be ready for her as soon as the plane touches down in Nevada."

"What about Jackson and that Jaffa, Teal'c?" the first man asked.

"Distractions have been planned. By the time they figure out anything is wrong Dr. Carter will be long gone," his partner assured him.

"Are we going to sedate her?" tall guy inquired.

"Yeah, although I don't know why they are bothering. I doubt she would put up a struggle in her state," was the reply.

The two men walked away at that point and Sam let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Her first instinct was to tell the next person that came in about the plot but after a few minutes alone she began to see a problem with that plan. Mayborne was well connected. He and Samuals could get orders cut if it came down to it and then Hammond, Jack and the others would have no choice but to hand her over or risk everything. No, she needed to a plan that got her away from the SGC without warning anyone that there was something going wrong with the timeline.

It took her two hours to think her way through the options. Finally she felt confident that she'd identified the best person to turn to. Now she just had to wait for him to take his turn visiting. In the meantime she worked on a way to communicate what was going on to him. The security camera was off to her right, if she kept her back to it she could probably talk softly without letting on that she was no longer maintaining her silence. She just needed a bit of luck.

While she was waiting she came up with a backup plan. If she hadn't managed to plan her escape by 0800 she would be going to plan B.

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For once in her life luck was with her. At dinnertime Teal'c came in to sit with her for a while. Unlike the others he did not talk much, and somehow over the course of the past couple of days she had found that his silent presence was very soothing. Now he pulled up a chair on the side of the bed to face her and began to meditate. She waited until she was sure that no one else was around and then softly began talking, knowing that the Jaffa's hearing was more acute than most and she could keep her voice at a whisper.

"Teal'c, please keep your eyes closed and listen carefully. I'm sorry I've worried you all so much but I just wasn't ready to talk about what happened to anyone. I'm still not, but I have an urgent matter that I need your help with," she began.

The Jaffa's training helped him to maintain an air of calm even as his temper boiled at the thought that anyone would try to take advantage of this woman when she was in a vulnerable state. When she was done relaying her plan he gave the slightest of nods to assure her that he understood and agreed with what she had told him.

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The plan was simple. Since Sam had overheard the details laid out by the marines, she decided to use that timeline to her advantage. If SG2 was going offworld at 0900, she knew they would be in the infirmary for their pre-mission physicals at 0800. Promptly at that time Teal'c came back for a visit. Lou had stopped in and Sam had maintained her zombie-like silence in his presence. However once Teal'c arrived and stood in front of the security camera there was a flurry of activity in the curtained-off area. Lou had brought her a spare set of BDU's and boots. Within three minutes Sam had changed clothes, amused and pleased that the Jaffa and her friend both actually closed their eyes to give her privacy. Then she crawled back under the covers hiding her new apparel.

Once Captain Jeffries the newest member of SG2 was done with her physical it was simply a matter of Teal'c blocking her exit. In order to step around the mountain of a man she took a step towards Sam's bed and an instant later she was zatted and swept behind the curtain by her CO. This time Teal'c did not bother to block the camera, simply disabling it with the same zat he had used on the Captain. An instant later Sam had taken the Captain's cap and walked casually out of the infirmary. She went straight to the women's locker room, finished gearing up and grabbed the backpack that Teal'c had prepared and hidden. By the time that security was looking into the malfunctioning camera Sam was headed off-world with SG2, keeping her face and hair covered with her cap down low. With no limp in sight no one even suspected until they reached P3X-678, where two of the three men were shocked to see Sam Carter pointing a zat at them. Lou helped her tie up the two and hide them from sight, then added the provisions SG2 had packed to Sam's backpack before the two of them stepped through the gate to an address that they all had agreed was the safest. Lou then gated back to his unconscious teammates, tied his own ankles and wrists and laid down pretending to also be knocked-out, secure in the knowledge that he had left Sam Carter in the best of hands.

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As it turned out a Security team came and checked out the camera, but never bothered to actually look at the woman in the bed buried under the covers. So it wasn't until Captain Jeffries awoke that anyone knew Sam Carter was missing. As Hammond was called and Mayborne began to yell, the unauthorized off-world activation sounded and the men of SG2 came back through the gate. Sam Carter had made a clean getaway.

For the first ten days she'd been gone SG1 and SG2 were grounded, as they were questioned several times. When Captain Jeffries recounted events she couldn't say who had zatted her, just that Teal'c had been there. Teal'c explained his presence easily by claiming he was just leaving from visiting Dr. Carter. He suggested that Sam had zatted the Captain, but had no idea where she would have gotten the weapon. The security footage was no help at all. Jack had been with Hammond getting briefed on their trip to DC, and Daniel had been in his lab, which security confirmed. In the end there was no proof any of them had helped Sam Carter escape.

Hammond eventually started arguing to put the two teams back in the rotation seeing as how there was no way of telling where Sam had gone. Mayborne however was very persuasive and had Kinnsey on his side. The two teams might have been grounded indefinitely if it hadn't been for an S.O.S. call from Gairyn. Cimmeria was being overrun by Jaffa under the control of Heru'ur. Daniel and Boyd had managed to contact a race called the Asguard and those guys had really come to the rescue. As they dealt with the injured and dead Jack managed to sneak to the Gate while Teal'c diverted attention away from the clearing. He sent a note through to update Sam on current events and to tell her to just stay put. He promised he would come get her soon.

It was all he could do for the moment.

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Sam meanwhile had been staying on Tollana, the new Tollen home world. Jack and Lou had insisted that she be on a populated world with friends that could offer medical care, not knowing to what extent Jolinar had messed with Sam's body. They had been lucky enough to run into one of the Tollens who had been to Earth the year before moments after exiting the gate, and he had taken her quickly to Narim, who had instantly offered her sanctuary. He convinced the council that they owed Samantha and her friends a debt of gratitude for taking them in and making sure that they were kept away from the contingent that had wanted them held on Earth. Since that same group was now looking for Samantha it was only fair to return the favor. There was very little opposition when put like that.

The Tollens had made great progress on their new homeworld and Sam was given quarters that were extremely comfortable. The Tollen doctor's also gave her a full check up and using technology she would have killed to study they removed the pins and rods that had previously been holding several of her bones together. The device had been needle thin and hadn't even left a scar.

But soon she was rested enough that the full force of her situation began to sink in, and without any of her friends around to she began to sink into a bit of a depression. Narim did his best to distract her but it was obvious to him that while she appreciated his company she wasn't interested in anything more than companionship and he suspected that she was missing someone special.

Sam was reluctant to admit it, but she was missing Jack terribly. She told herself it was everyone she missed, Cassie, Janet, Lou, and the rest of SG1, but at night when she couldn't sleep it was thoughts of Jack O'Neill that kept her awake. And when she did sleep it was Jack that was featured in her dreams. Her only bright spot was the note that came through the gate addressed to her during her second week there. At least she knew that Jack and the others were alright and had not given up on her.

She'd spent about three weeks on Tollana when she first began to think that she had traded one form of torture for another. The Tollens refused to let her study any of their technology and although she kept herself busy taking long walks and building up her body strength she was quietly going crazy.

One more week she decided and she was going to go home and take her chances.

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TBC


	14. Friends in High Places

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Back on Earth, Hammond had finally managed to get a private meeting with the President. Based on a note that Sam had left behind he'd had some of his security people gathering evidence in the interim and was able to present the man with irrefutable proof that there had been a faction of high-ranking officials who had been willing to snatch Sam Carter and use her as a lab rat. The President had been suitably disgusted by the idea, especially when Hammond had pointed out the invaluable contributions the Doctor had made in the past year.

"Quite frankly we need Dr. Carter badly sir. Since she's been gone there have been several glitches in gate travel that I'm sure she would have been able to resolve quickly or even prevented had she been there," he pointed out.

"That's a bit of a moot point as you don't know where she is, General," the President replied. "Assuming you actually don't know where she is."

"I don't. I have my suspicions though, and I have a feeling that if I can reassure certain people that it's safe for her to return she would miraculously show up," Hammond ventured. "Mind you there is absolutely nothing I can prove. But the general rule at the SGC is that you don't leave a man behind, and I suspect that that philosophy was behind Dr. Carter's vanishing act. It's my assumption that it was a team effort, and I don't think I want to know just how many of the SGC's finest were part of that team."

The President agreed. With the recent attack on Earth still weighing heavily on his mind he certainly didn't want to start a mutiny in the ranks of the troops that were the frontline defense against any further incursions. Besides, he had a personal reason for wanting Samantha Carter back on Earth safe and sound.

"Give me a week to get the word out. Dr. Carter is to be under Presidential protection. Any harm done to her will be treated as an attack on this office," the President promised.

Hammond left feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. He was surprised though. He hadn't expected the Commander in Chief to take such drastic action. He knew he'd made a sound case for finding a way to safely bring Dr. Carter home, but he still felt like he was missing a piece of the puzzle.

Of course he didn't realize that many years ago when the President was recuperating from surgery that had eventually been the cause of his medical discharge from the Air Force he had spent quite a bit of time at a certain base hospital. He still remembered the day when he'd met the pretty nurse who would later become his wife. She'd seemed upset and when he asked her what was wrong she'd explained that she had just come from a room down the hall where a young girl was recovering from a devastating accident.

"No one's been to visit her in two days, the poor thing. She lost her mother in that accident and now her father's been sent off somewhere on a month-long assignment. I wish I could spend more time with her," the nurse lamented.

It was no wonder that he'd fallen for the leggy brunette with the soft heart. It was more of a surprise how much he came to enjoy the friendship of the young girl down the hall as they bonded over games of chess. He'd kept in touch with her until she'd headed off to college and he'd been busy starting his own family, and managing his promising political career.

It had taken him a while to make the connection between the missing Dr. Carter and the girl in the casts with the sad eyes that he'd known as Sammy.

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The news of the President's declaration literally flew around the SGC, surprising even Hammond with the joyous upturn in moral. Unspoken among Sam's friends was the understanding that it would be SG1 that would take a slight detour on their next mission to let Sam know the good news. It was three days before they were scheduled to go off-world and the rest of SG1 went to great lengths to keep Jack from going crazy with impatience in that time.

Finally though they were on their way, and the excitement surrounding the group was hard to miss. Even if Hammond had been oblivious to it, the number of people wandering around to unofficially see them off would have been a pretty big clue that Sam Carter would be back on Earth soon, probably by the day's end.

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On the day when SG1 finally made their unscheduled hop to Tollana, Sam had been particularly restless and had gone for a long walk. After hours of contemplating her current situation and coming to no real conclusions, she exited a grove of trees to see a group of Tollans including Narim standing near the gate with a group that was obviously from the SGC. Sam's first instinct was to quickly step back into the protection of the trees, but even as she did so the group shifted and she could make out the large figure of Teal'c. She quickly scanned the other three and assured that it was Jack, Daniel and Boyd, she started forward again. Half way to the group Jack looked up and saw her and after a split second where she swore her heart stopped beating and her feet were frozen to the ground she suddenly found her self flying on swift feet to cover the distance between them.

Jack had a similar moment where time stopped and then Sam was moving and he dropped his pack and his gun so that he could gather her in his arms when she reached him. His teammates couldn't stop grinning as they watched Jack grab Sam into a hug and lift her off her feet to spin her around before placing her back down and promptly kiss her. There grins only grew when the two parted looking slightly embarrassed and definitely winded, and Sam turned to them to hug each in turn.

Teal'c was last and the hug she gave him was almost as heartfelt as the one she gave Jack.

"Thank you," she whispered to the man who had proven to be a true friend in her time of need.

"It is good to see you looking well Samantha Carter," he responded and for once his facial expression matched his words. There was a smile that made normally solemn eyes twinkle.

Narim who had been looking on with a sinking heart knew that the news that the team had relayed while waiting for Samantha to appear would be welcome indeed and that the woman who he'd had begun to care deeply for would soon be departing.

Looking at the excited group chatting happily he knew that there really hadn't ever been any chance of any other ending. Dr. Samantha Carter was where she belonged.

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The homecoming was slightly chaotic, and despite how glad she was to be back and how great it had been to see everyone, Sam was glad to retreat to the quiet of the infirmary. A few hours later she was having second thoughts about that feeling. Janet was in her glory, happy beyond words to have Sam back and running every test she could think of to check over her condition. Her excitement level kept rising as she began to comprehend the extent of the miracle she was witness to. Bones were straightened and mended, and although she needed further tests and perhaps a consult with an OBGYN, it appeared that the pelvic damage that had prevented Sam from getting pregnant was also healed. She decided she wouldn't mention that until she had verification. She didn't want to have to crush any false hopes she might stir up.

Finally she proclaimed that although she had a few more test results that hadn't come back Sam was 'Fit as a Fiddle', and free to leave. Sam gave a huge sigh of relief. As she was gathering her things Jack walked in as the curtained area opened and raised an eyebrow.

"So what's the verdict, Doc?" he asked feigning a casualness he did not feel. The fact that Sam had run towards him on Tollana had been something of a shock once the significance had registered, and he couldn't help but worry that Jolinar was still with them.

"She's in perfect health, Sir. Jolinar left behind a protein marker and a trace of Naquada in Sam's blood all of which we found in the tests we did before Sam's disappearing act. Since both levels have remained steady so far I would say that they are not going to dissipate over time, but they don't seem to being doing any harm. And all of the other results point to the Tok'ra doing a lot of good before she died," Janet confirmed.

"She was sorry for taking me forcibly. She kept telling me she would make it up to me and I wouldn't have to be in pain any more. I thought she just meant as long as I had her in me, but I realize now that she was healing me the whole time she was blended with me," Sam explained.

"Wow, nice trick," Jack commented, wondering if it was wrong of him to be thankful that it was Sam that Jolinar had picked. While he certainly wouldn't wish the trauma of what she'd been through on anyone it made his heart glad to see her walking around with no limp and no pain. Now when she smiled it lit up her eyes in a way he'd never seen before and he wondered at what she must have been like before the accident. Somehow he bet she'd been a handful, which her bright inquisitive mind, blond hair and sparkling eyes.

Which led him to the thought that he bet she was going to be a handful from now on, too.

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The party that night started out small. Just Sam, Janet, Cassie, SG1 and SG2. But before long others started filtering into Jack's house. Luckily most had thought to bring their own liquid refreshments, and Jack had every local joint that delivered on speed dial so with a few well placed phone calls and liberal use of his credit card there was pizza and subs and hot wings to please just about everyone.

At some point Lou and Jack and Daniel and Janet had Sam in the kitchen as they refilled various platters and Lou brought up the question on all of their minds.

"So Sam, Presidential protection? Is there something you want to tell us?" he teased.

They had expected her to be as surprised by the fact as they were so her blush was a bit of a shock.

"Samantha Jean Carter… you had better give it up right this minute," Janet finally ordered.

Sam shrugged. "I didn't think he remembered me. I was only thirteen when I knew him and although we kept in touch for a while I haven't been in contact with him for over fifteen years. He had just become a senator last I heard from him," she confessed. Then she told them the story of how the two had been introduced by one of the nurses in the hospital and had played chess and discussed everything from books to music to politics. Sam was especially proud of her part in encouraging the budding romance between the thirty something Airman and the nurse with the soft heart.

"She got to be First Lady thanks to you!" Janet pointed out. "You should be invited to dinner at the White House!"

"I think this generous offer of protection is plenty," Sam said with a grin.

"I won't argue with that," Lou agreed.

And with that they let her go mingle with the rest of the well wishers, although no one failed to notice that Jack was never more that a few feet away from her the whole evening, or the number of times their eyes collided and a entire conversation appeared to have taken place in the span of a few silent seconds.

Maybe that helped explain why earlier than either could have hoped for everyone began to drift off home eventually leaving just the two of them to finish picking up the last of the clutter. As they both reached for the garbage bag and their hands met, the damn finally broke and Jack swept Sam up and carried her off to the bedroom.

Neither of them was seen or heard from until they were due back on base two days later.

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TBC


	15. Close Calls

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam's first day back to work had been filled with distractions. An embarrassing number of people had stopped in her lab to welcome her back, and there had been two separate meetings with Hammond. The first had been for him to personally tell her how glad he was to have her safely back and doing so well physically. He also requested that she write up a report on the current conditions on Tollana. After lunch he had called her to his office again to inform her that assuming Dr. Frasier's final findings were satisfactory, Sam would be given gate travel rights, meaning she would be able to travel off-world when her expertise was required.

So now Sam was on her way to the infirmary to hopefully be given the all clear. She sighed as she noticed the clock as she entered Janet's office. By the time she was done here it would be late enough to call it a day. Maybe tomorrow she would be able to get some actual work done. She was months behind on reviewing the gate diagnostics alone.

Her mind was already organizing her tasks for the next day as Janet poked and prodded, finally announcing herself satisfied that all was truly well and Sam was fit and capable of gate travel.

"I do want to talk to you about something though. All of the women who are a permanent part of a team that travel through the gate are required to use birth control in case if an off-world incident. Thankfully we've never had one yet, but there have been close calls. Now that you've been put back together again I think it might be a good idea for you to do the same if you plan on gate traveling," Janet suggested.

Sam's eyes widened as the implication of that sank in. "Are you saying that I can conceive now?" Sam whispered, as if saying it too loudly would jinx the answer.

"I think it's possible. I've reviewed your case with an OBGYN that has security clearance, and she saw no reason why you couldn't," Janet informed her.

Several thoughts and emotions flooded Sam's mind at once. Joy, disbelief, and wonder, all vied for attention. But then one thought pushed all of those out of her head.

She hesitated slightly but knew she had to speak up. "So if I've had unprotected sex since I've been back I could have gotten pregnant?" she asked.

"I guess, although I don't see any signs that you're currently ovulating. I think your body is still playing catch up. Why? Have you had unprotected sex?" Janet questioned.

Sam blushed and Janet couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Sam?" she pressed.

Sam groaned and threw a hand up over her eyes. "Oh yeah," she confirmed. Then knowing Janet wasn't going to let it be she confessed, "Lots and lots of unprotected sex."

Janet couldn't suppress a chuckle. "Nice to know the Colonel is fit and energetic."

Sam couldn't help but grin in return. "The man has incredible stamina," she acknowledged. Then she sobered. "Still that brings up the issue of me possibly being pregnant," she added.

"Well, it's too early to tell for sure either way," Janet regretfully told her. "We really won't know for sure for a good two weeks. In the mean time you should use protection and if you get the all clear then we can put you on birth control," she informed her.

Sam paused again. "What if I don't want to go on birth control?" she asked.

"Sam?" Janet questioned.

"I don't know Jan, I'm really confused right now. I just know that all of sudden there might be a choice open up to me that wasn't there yesterday and I need to think about what that means," Sam confessed.

"And perhaps discuss it with someone else who should have a say in the matter?" Janet proposed.

"Yeah, that too," Sam sighed. "I have no clue what Jack's take is on kids. It's been a non-issue, so we never discussed it," she admitted.

"Well, I'm going to recommend that you be cleared for Gate travel in a month. That should give you time to get everything resolved and know what you want," Janet told her.

"Plus I need weapons training before I go through, and I need to be outfitted. It's not going to happen overnight anyway," Sam nodded thinking of the standards that had been set for civilians going offworld.

"There you go," Janet concluded. "And remember, Sam. The news is all good," she consoled.

"Yes it is," Sam nodded, her grin returning. "Its just going to take some getting used to being the new and improved Sam Carter."

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That evening after dinner as they cleared the dished Sam took a deep breath and began what she thought was going to be a difficult conversation.

"So Janet did my final check up today," she casually commented.

Something in her voice must have tipped Jack off because he looked up at her in concern. "Did she find something wrong?" he asked.

"No, everything is fine," she assured him. "As a matter of fact she found that more of me is fixed than she originally thought. I don't know if it was Jolinar's doing or the Tollens, but Janet and a OBGYN that she consulted think that there is now no reason why I couldn't have a baby," she told him watching close for his reaction.

The first thing Jack felt was joy. He knew how sad it had made Sam to know she would never have a child, and luckily he expressed that first thought before any others pushed their way to the forefront. "Sam that's great!" he exclaimed. Even as the words left his mouth his brain caught up and he knew what she was really trying to tell him. His heart almost stopped at the thought. "We didn't use any protection," was all he said though.

"No, we didn't. It's too early to tell for sure but Janet didn't think I was ovulating, so it's not likely that I am pregnant," she calmly stated.

Jack wasn't fooled. "But you want to be," he concluded.

"My first instinct was yes, but then I thought about being able to go through the gate and how much I would love that," Sam confessed. She looked at Jack. "And I have no clue what you think about having kids, and I wouldn't want to be pregnant if you weren't 100 percent behind it," she trailed off with a shrug.

Jack paused. He was a world champion at putting his foot in his mouth and joking instead of discussing anything serious, but this was important and he wanted Sam to understand how he felt.

"If you _are _pregnant, then I'll be right there with you all the way, probably even excited once I get used to the idea, but if we have the option, I'm not sure how I feel," he told her. He noticed that her forehead was scrunched up and wondered if it was in confusion or if it was the beginnings of a frown. "Does that make any sense at all?"

Slowly Sam nodded. "I think that's how I feel. If I'm already pregnant, I'll be ok with it, happy even, but if I have a choice, I think I wouldn't be wanting to have a baby right now," she agreed. "Do you think you'll _ever_ want another child?"

"It's something I haven't let myself even imagine since Charlie, but that doesn't mean that I'm opposed to the idea. It scares me to death, and I'm not getting any younger. Plus I'm old fashioned enough to want to be married to the mother of my child first," he mused. Then he chuckled. "I think all of that was my way of avoiding the question."

Despite the non-answer, Sam felt like she'd gotten his honest opinion. And she wasn't displeased with the reply. She'd had a suspicion that Jack would have mixed emotions on the subject, and he'd let her know two important things. He would be there by her side if she was pregnant, and he wasn't totally against having kids. She suspected that given time he would warm to the idea if he let himself think about it for a while.

In the meantime she'd stopped and gotten a large box of condoms to tide them over until she was sure she was not pregnant and could start on birth control.

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A week later Sam was able to tell Jack that she was definitely not pregnant, but Janet was going to do a final test in a week just as a matter of protocol. Weapons training was progressing well so Sam was well on her way to being cleared for gate travel.

SG1 got sent on a mission just before Sam's all clear. Sam had to admit to breathing a small sigh of relief. Jack had taken it as a personal challenge to go through the entire box of condoms in the timeframe they would be using them and Sam was exhausted much to Janet's amusement. Sam still managed to be in the control room when SG1 was scheduled to check in and was surprised at how happy just hearing Jack's voice had made her. They'd only been apart 24 hours and she missed him desperately, which gave Janet even more ammunition to tease her friend with.

The next day when Daniel checked in instead of Jack, informing them that the rest of the team was on an inspection of the mines, Sam felt a small niggle of worry. That worry was to become full blown the third day when Daniel once again checked in. He was about to signoff when Sam realized what was bothering her and slipped a note to Hammond.

"Dr. Jackson, I noticed your glasses are missing. Do you need us to send through a spare pair?" Hammond asked after reading what she'd written.

"No, thank you sir. They have a sarcophagus here and let me use it. It's unbelievable. I can see perfectly and I've never felt so good in my entire life," Daniel reported bouncing in excitement.

"That is amazing, Doctor. I'll look forward to your report," Hammond told him, and signed off.

Sam stood looking at the silent Gate with a frown on her face after it disconnected. There was something she should be remembering that was just out of reach. She closed her eyes to shake off the feeling and a sudden rush of swirling memories rushed over her. She paled and headed for Hammond's office.

The General was just getting situated at his desk when he saw Sam hovering in his doorway.

"What can I do for you Dr. Carter," he asked.

Sam looked at him with haunted eyes, took a deep breath and blurted out her concern.

"The Tokr'a don't use the sarcophagus. It changes you, and not for the better," she told him.

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TBC


	16. Putting Her Foot Down

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Hammond took in her statement in silence and before he responded Sam could see a myriad of conflicting emotions pass over his features. Surprise, concern, doubt, and a bit of fear made her realize that her word alone was probably not going to be enough to convince him that SG1 was in danger.

"How could you possibly know that," he finally demanded suspiciously.

If possible Sam got even paler. "I occasionally get flashes of memories from Jolinar's life. I'm not sure how. I just do. She knew quite a bit about how the sarcophagus worked. It's addictive and part of what makes it so easy for a Gou'ald to control it's host. It causes the human host to have aggressive tendencies as well as making them open to suggestions," she insisted.

"Are you telling me that that snake is still in your head, Doctor?" Hammond asked in disbelief.

"Not consciously in my head, sir. The Gou'ald and Tok'ra possess genetic memory. Since I don't actually have a symbiote those memories are hard to access, but they are there," Sam tried to explain, but she could see that Hammond was now in strict security mode.

An hour later she sighed as she once again tried to get comfortable in lock-up. Ironically it was the same cell that she had been held in when SG1 had gone AWOL to save Earth and when she had been possessed by Jolinar.

"Maybe I should just make this cell my base quarters," she mumbled as she sat looking around. "I could bring in some of my things and then at least I'd be more comfortable since I seem to be destined to spend a lot of time here."

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Fate was with her that day, though because several hours after the scene in Hammond's office there was an unscheduled off-world activation and Sam was being escorted back to the conference room. Two men stood there with the General, one of whom she recognized immediately.

"Narim!" she exclaimed, surprised to see the man.

"Samantha," he replied with a smile. "It is wonderful to see you again, although I was quite upset when your General told me that you had been locked up for security reasons," he added frowning at Hammond. Then he continued," I brought someone that I'm sure you'll be interested in meeting."

He turned to the man standing next to him but before he could complete the introduction memories flooded Sam's mind in an almost overwhelming stream.

"Martouf," she whispered.

"So it is true?" the Tok'ra questioned. "You do retain some of my beloved's memories?"

Sam's eyes flew to the General and she sighed in resignation as she admitted, "Yeah, it looks like it."

Martouf's eyes flashed and it was Lantesh who responded in the deep unnatural voice used by the symbiote, "We have never heard of this happening before, it is quite amazing."

Sam immediately got a sinking feeling in her gut.

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Twenty-four hours later Sam was mentally plotting her new escape route off-world as the debate and discussion flowed around her. Occasionally she studied the men in the room with her. Martouf was passionate in his argument that Sam be allowed to come visit the Tokr'as new base and learn more about them. Hammond was slowly beginning to see the value in what he considered to be a mission. Narim pointed out that Samantha should have an escort and offered to travel with her. Jack mostly sat in the corner and glowered except for when he roused himself to argue that there was no need for Sam to travel anywhere and if she did it should be SG1 that went with her.

As Jack settled back into silence Sam studied him a bit more carefully noting the exhaustion that was still etched into his features. Shortly after Martouf had arrived she had asked his opinion on Daniel using the sarcophagus and when he had agreed that repeated use was quite dangerous Hammond had sent a team to extract SG1. Sam had barely recognized the four men when they had returned. Daniel was without his glasses and practically bouncing off the walls. Jack, Teal'c and Henry were so dirty and literally dragging themselves through that she wanted to cry. After showers and medicals they had slept for fourteen straight hours. Jack still looked like he could use another fourteen.

After much debating back and forth Sam finally decided she'd had enough. Even though the part of her that held Jolinar's memories and emotions was screaming at her to go with Martouf the part that was Sam couldn't see how she was going to fare any better by going with the Tokr'a than she would have if she'd let the NID take her away to be 'studied'. Since nobody else seemed to be willing to make a decision she decided it was time for her to take control of the situation. As soon a there was a brief pause in the argument she cleared her throat loudly. Soon four sets of eyes had turned to look at her.

"Now that you all remember that I am actually in the room, it's time to stop arguing and let me tell you how this is actually going to play out, since it's my life we are talking about here," she stated firmly.

When Hammond made as if to argue, she simply raised an eyebrow as if daring him to disagree. He sighed and sat back in his chair, as if suddenly remembering that the day before he'd thrown her in a cell and that he was lucky she was even still there at all. And while Narim and Martouf looked a bit shocked and confused, there was the beginning of a smile on Jack's face as he sat back and waited for what he was sure was going to be an entertaining show from Sam.

"First off, I am not going off with the Tokr'a after only having just met you Martouf. I'm sorry but your people haven't really given me any reason to trust you. After all, I was just as much an unwilling host of Jolinar's as the Gou'ald's hosts are," she pointed out. "We do however want to start a dialog with you and your council and when we feel comfortable I will be happy to be part of a mission to visit the Tokr'a base," she conceded. "Along with an SG team of course," she added.

'Until then, I have just been cleared for gate travel. I am looking forward to going out in the field as my expertise is needed. In addition I have quite a bit of a backlog of work to catch up on in my lab, so I assume I will be splitting my time just as several of the other civilian scientists do," she proposed looking at Hammond for confirmation.

After a brief pause during which he wondered exactly when he had lost control of the situation the General sighed in resignation and nodded in agreement.

Jack's grin grew to a full-fledged smile. He'd been right. Sam Carter was going to be a handful from now on.

But damn if he wasn't looking forward to every minute of the wild ride.

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Still on a high from the briefing, Sam returned to her lab and attacked the piles of work waiting there with gusto. She was several hours into it when she realized that someone was watching her from the doorway.

"Daniel!" she exclaimed. "How are you doing? I haven't had a chance to talk to you since you got back," Sam queried.

"Not surprising," Daniel commented with a bit of a sneer. "I hear you've been busy."

Sam was momentarily taken back by his accusing tone, but decided not to question it. "Well you know getting thrown in the brig always throws off my whole schedule," she joked.

"I was talking more about your intergalactic admiration society. Can anybody join this little club or does a guy need to be from another planet to qualify?" he inquired.

Sam blushed but stood her ground and looked Daniel square in the eyes with her hands on her hips. "I'm not sure I know what you are implying Dr. Jackson."

"Oh don't play all innocent Samantha. You might fool Jack, but it's painfully obvious that you love all the attention. Speaking of Jack, exactly where does he fit into your plans? You do remember Jack, don't you?" Daniel accused.

Sam had had enough. Something was wrong with Daniel and she needed to get help. She reached for the phone but Daniel reached out and tried to stop her. He'd forgotten a few important things however. Sam was no longer hindered by her injuries and Lou and Teal'c had spent the last year teaching her hand-to-hand defensive techniques. So despite his superior size and strength, Sam had surprise on her side, and before he knew what had hit him Daniel was on the floor with a foot to his throat. When he made to grab the leg above him the foot pressed down and he backed off.

"Wise decision Daniel," Sam told him as she picked up a zat that was sitting on her bench. It was currently missing a part, but there was no need for Daniel to know that she thought as she pointed it at him. "Now sit quietly because I've been messing with this particular model and it might have a bit more power than normal," she warned as she removed her foot and once again reached for the phone. Within a minute of calling in the security alert the room was filled with burly marines. Sam allowed Daniel to get to his feet but instructed the SF's to not let him out of the room.

"Guards, Dr. Carter is the one you should be aiming those things at. She attacked me. I think something is seriously wrong with her. Maybe she still has a Gou'ald in her," he suggested.

Sam almost groaned as she saw the three men's attention shift to her, and all she could think was that she should have decorated that damn holding cell this morning when she'd had the chance.

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TBC


	17. Longing for Simple

Author's Notes: I'm slowing down on the posting... but I wanted to stretch out these last two chapters because currently the next two chapters are a bit of a mess. Half on my work computer, half on my home computer. I'll try to get at least one of them whipped into shape over the weekend. And as for ending this thing... ug, it's gone longer already than I'd planned, but I think we will have about another 6 chapters. I have the ending written, there is just a bit left to get there from here.

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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As it turned out a return trip to the holding cell was not in the cards for Sam. Dr. Fraiser had finally gotten the results of Daniel's blood work back and had gone straight to General Hammond in concern. Hammond already had Jack and Teal'c and a group of SF's out looking for Daniel to escort him to the infirmary. When Sam's call for security came in everyone converged on her lab and just after Daniel made his desperate attempt to point suspicion at Sam the backup arrived and Jack ordered the marines to take Daniel to see Dr. Fraiser. Then he turned to study Sam in concern.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Really. Go check on Daniel," she insisted.

In truth she needed some quiet time to pull herself back together. Meeting Martouf earlier had thrown her a bit off balance trying to deal with the overwhelming feelings for someone that was a virtual stranger. But as usual she had managed to calm herself with the familiar work in her lab, which occupied just enough of her mind. She'd been able to think about the whole encounter without dwelling on it, and had almost found peace with the fact that she would just have to learn to separate her feelings from the residual ones left behind by Jolinar in the same manner as she had to separate her memories from those of the Tok'ra's

Daniels words had stirred up her doubts again. Why did this have to be so damn hard? Every time she thought she was coming to terms with her lot in life, things got shaken up and she found herself floundering again. She'd been so happy those first months here at the SGC, with a job she loved and a few new friends. Then she'd started falling for Jack O'Neill, Cassie had come along to stir up her impossible longing to have a child. There had been the false hope of the sarcophagus, and the struggle to kick her need for painkillers again. And just when she'd started to find solid ground Apophis had decided to attack and she'd faced losing all she loved.

But this was almost the worst of all. Even when she'd been on the run directly after Jolinar's death she'd been better off than now. She'd been too concerned about her future to do more than rejoice in her new injury free body, miss Jack and try to figure out a way to get back to Earth safely.

Now she was starting to get an idea of the long-term ramifications of what had happened to her. The memories had been enough of a challenge, but at least she could see some good coming from those. This dueling emotions thing was already messing with her head.

Even as she thought that a figure appeared at her doorway and she breathed a sigh of relief. Jack was standing there looking tired and worried but somehow he still made her feel calmer just by his very presence. She wished they could just leave the base and all of the myriad of problems behind and go home and curl up together. She was sure everything would look much clearer after a long weekend in bed with him. She knew that wasn't about to happen anytime soon though so she sighed and dove into the most critical of the issues.

"How's Daniel?" she asked.

"Sedated. Doc says it could take weeks for him to recover. Said it's going to be like he's withdrawing from drugs because his body has become addicted to the effects of the sarcophagus," he told her. "How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine," she shrugged.

Jack's eyes narrowed as he stared at her. "Sure you are," he challenged. "Because it's pretty much a normal day around here for you to be thrown in the brig. But the whole rediscovering your ex-snakes lost love and having a friend suddenly turn on you are new experiences. So I'm guessing fine is a bit of a stretch."

Sam raised her head to meet his eyes and that was her undoing. Because she saw no censure there, just concern and love. Her shoulders sagged. "You forgot to mention that I've been worried sick about you ever since I realized Daniel was using that damn sarcophagus and I realized how bad that was," she admitted. "Are you ok?"

"Nothing that a few days of sleep won't cure, and nice try on changing the subject," Jack scolded.

Sam shook her head. "I don't even know where to start," she confessed. "But a couple of days of sleep is probably as good a place as any. Don't suppose we could slip off base so we could get some of that sleep together," she suggested only slightly hopeful.

He was about to tell her that unfortunately that was out of the question, but then he realized that Hammond hadn't specifically restricted him to base. He'd just assumed Jack would be staying with Daniel in the infirmary. But Janet had assured him when he'd been torn between staying and going to check on Sam that she would be keeping Daniel unconscious for at least the next twelve hours as it appeared he hadn't slept in days, so maybe if they didn't bother to ask permission they could manage it.

"Are you restricted to base?" Jack asked.

"Not that I know of," she told him with a bit of a naughty grin.

"I say we give it a shot. The worst that could happen is that we are stopped at one of the checkpoints," Jack said with a smirk.

Much to their surprise they made it all the way to Jack's, and after turning off all phones and pagers they stripped down and collapsed into bed, and slept for ten solid hours before someone pounding on the door finally woke them.

Jack pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt to answer the door expecting some poor airman to have been sent to retrieve them, only to find the General himself there with two SF's behind him.

Oops.

"Colonel O'Neill, might I ask what you are doing off base?" he demanded.

"Well, until you so rudely pounded, I was sleeping. Sir," Jack explained. "Really soundly I might add."

Hammond looked like he wanted to implode, but he took a calming breath and gave Jack his best General glare. "Well I suggest you get dressed and get in the car. We still have to round up Dr. Carter who is also AWOL," Hammond barked.

"Uh, no need sir," Jack told him as he stared at the floor. "Rounding up Carter I mean."

Sam decided at that moment to help him out and appeared from down the hall. At least she was fully dressed.

"I'm right here, Sir," she said and Hammond swung to look at her in surprise.

Jack meanwhile was doing his best to stare down the SF's daring them to react at all to the situation. To their credit they kept their expressions blank.

"Go get dressed, Jack. We need to check on Daniel anyway," Sam suggested.

As soon as he was out of sight Sam sighed and turned to the General. "Don't blame him. I begged him to get me out of there," she offered.

Hammond's demeanor softened a bit. What with worrying about Dr. Jackson and seeing off their alien allies after assuring them they would be in touch, he hadn't really thought about Sam's situation. Now though even after a supposed good night's sleep he could tell she still looked a bit rough. No wonder O'Neill had spirited her away. He had heard that they had dated a bit last year, but he hadn't realized how far the relationship had progressed. Of course he was just inferring that from her presence here. She could have slept in the spare room for all he knew.

Jack returned then, obviously having just thrown on the first clothes he'd found, and Hammond caught the look that passed between his 2IC and the scientist. He was suddenly sure that Samantha Carter had not slept in the spare room. Not knowing exactly what to think about that turn of events he escorted the two to the car with a sigh.

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It would be a month before Daniel was cleared for duty. During that time Sam and Jack each went off-world once, but mostly were able to put in a day's work and then head home together. Hammond took the opportunity to take a few days off leaving Jack in charge and Sam became engrossed in several projects. Life seemed to agree that the two deserved a break and they were grateful for the reprieve. The only drawback was the strained relationship between Daniel and Sam, which to Sam's credit was not due to any lack of trying on her part. But Daniel's mood swings were unpredictable and for some reason he seemed to like to vent his anger and frustration at Sam. After a week she simply stayed away.

The problem came when Daniel was almost ready to be released from the infirmary and sent home. Janet wanted someone to be with him and normally he would simply have stayed with Jack, or Teal'c would have stayed with Daniel for a few days. But Teal'c had been temporarily assigned to SG3 and was due to go offworld in two days, and although Sam told Jack that she would stay at her place and give Daniel and him some space, Jack was reluctant to give up precious time together. He decided it was time to confront Daniel about his harsh treatment of Sam during the past three weeks.

He waited until after the archeologist had had a good night's sleep, and had at least two cups of coffee in him the next morning. Then, never one for diplomacy or subtlety he a tray from the mess filled with food in front of his teammate and sat down opposite him.

"So what the heck is up with you and Sam?" he asked.

Daniel looked momentarily startled, but quickly hid all emotions and casually inquired, "What do you mean?"

Jack's eyes flashed with anger before he too clamped down on his emotions and just as casually commented, "Oh, I just meant that you are treating her like she's got a contagious disease. Now I know that other people on base are of the opinion that she's not to be trusted after the whole Jolinar thing, but I figured as a supposed friend of hers and someone with a decent head on his shoulder and the ability to see the best in just about anybody that you would never fall prey to such stupidity. Guess I was wrong."

"I trust Sam," Daniel protested.

"Daniel, in the last three weeks you've done everything in your power to avoid her and when you couldn't you've snubbed her, said horrible things to her or simply glared at her like she was something disgusting you scraped off your shoe. And for the life of me I can't figure out why. She's done nothing but try to get on with her life with as much dignity as she possibly can, which isn't easy when even Hammond is doubting her and throwing her in the brig at every turn. So what exactly is your problem?" Jack demanded his voice finally rising at the end.

"She remembers everything!" Daniel shouted in return. Then seeing Jack's confusion and knowing that he needed to explain he took a deep breath. "She remembers everything that happened while Jolinar was in her. Everything. And we've always thought that the host was suppressed, sort of unconscious, but Sam was aware of everything, and that means that for the fifteen month's Shar'e has been aware of everything that going on too. And every time I look at Sam and hear her talk about it all I can think of is the hell my wife is going through," he admitted. "And then to find out that she not only remembers what happened while she was host but she has other memories passed along from Jolinar…" he trailed off with a shudder.

Jack didn't know what to say. He could understand that the reality of being a host was a hard thing for Daniel to cope with but that didn't make his behavior any more acceptable.

"So you decided to shoot the messenger?" Jack asked him raising an eyebrow and frowning in disapproval. "Would you rather Sam lied? Because I don't think she enjoys talking about it all that much. I'm the one that keeps pushing her to not bottle it all up, even if that is the Jack O'Neill way of coping with things."

"No of course I don't want her lie," Daniel denied with a sigh.

"Well you better figure it out Daniel. I figured at first it was just the withdrawal talking and I gave you a break, but I've just about had it with your attitude," he fumed, rising from his chair and turning to leave. "If the situations were different and I treated Shar'a the way you're treating Sam I doubt you would even be speaking to me," he predicted over his shoulder as he departed.

Daniel knew he was right, hell he'd given himself a good talking to only a week ago right after one of the more unpleasant run-ins with Sam. But it hadn't made the gut wrenching despair he felt every time he looked at her any easier to handle. However now he vowed again to try to just see Sam herself the next time they crossed paths.

Of course the way the SGC worked, the next time they crossed paths would be in the middle of a crisis, and Sam would be right in the middle of the fray.

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TBC


	18. Making the Hard Decisions

Author's Notes: So sorry for the delay... life got hectic this week! I'm hoping to use the holiday to get myself organized as I currently have half my house torn up to put new floors in... but it will be so worth it when they are done!

We are up to episode 207 'Message in a Bottle' for those of you keeping track!

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See Part 0 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam Carter was hiding. She knew she couldn't stay holed up for long, after all they were in the middle of a crisis. But she also knew that if she didn't get at least five minutes to breath with no one looking over her shoulder she would scream. And that would be bad, very bad. Jack was counting on her. Hell the entire base was counting on her and that was part of the problem. The other problem was that the half of the staff that weren't expecting her to pull a miracle out of her ass were just waiting for her to prove she was still a Gou'ald. And if she couldn't find a flaw in the theory that was currently trying to gain cohesion in her brain she might just give that paranoid half of the base more ammunition.

It was so damn risky. But the more she let herself sit quietly the surer she became that this was the answer.

Now she just had to figure out how to convince Hammond.

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In the end it had been Jack's quiet agreement that had done the trick. With everyone questioning her sanity and Hammond wanting her to tell him that she was sure this would work it was Jack, in pain and feverish and impaled to a wall that had met her eyes and given her the nod.

So she had turned to Hammond and confidently gave him a quick answer that probably came out more techno-babble then she had intended but seemed to convince him. And then all she could do was wait. She heard Daniel protesting in the background, she heard Hammond giving orders, she knew Teal'c was there quietly supporting her, but her eyes never left Jack O'Neill.

Even as the events of the past day replayed in her head her gaze never wavered.

Damn SG4 for finding the alien device and damn her for so much as looking at it let alone somehow activating it. Damn Jack for having to play the hero and trying to get the thing through the gate before it could do any damage. And damn them all for looking to her for the answers once it all went to hell in a hand basket. It had put her in an impossible position. If Jack O'Neill were to die it would be her fault.

And while she had forced that knowledge to the back of her brain in order to do her job, sooner or later the fact that she had held his life in her hands was going to catch up with her.

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The reality of everything came crashing in on her two hours later. Jack had been down in the infirmary for most of that time and periodic updates had informed Hammond and the staff organizing cleanup of the base that he was already making good progress towards recovery. Sam had completed taking reading down in the gate room, and run a basic diagnostic on the gate to ensure everything was in working order before Hammond had released her from duty with orders to get some food and sleep, knowing well and good that those two items would be considered only after she'd been to the infirmary to check for herself that Jack was alright.

And that was where she was headed when the last hours caught up with her, sending her running for the closest empty receptacle to empty her stomach in. Luckily she was in the corridor just outside of Jack's office at the time, and his garbage bin had been the first thing she grabbed. It was even luckier that Jack hadn't been in his office in days so it was empty. Once the nausea had passed she found that she was too shaky to go anywhere and decided to just slide down the wall and sit for a bit.

Unknowing to her Lou Ferretti had slipped into the room right behind her.

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Lou hadn't even made it passed the second check-point when he'd heard enough to send him scurrying straight to the infirmary. There he got a quick update on the crisis he'd missed and on Jack's condition. He poked his head in expecting the Colonel to be drugged to the gills only to find the man arguing with Doctor Fraiser.

"I promise Doc, I'll let you knock me out as soon as I take care of one thing," he promised, and Lou saw that Teal'c was literally blocking the doctor's path to her patient.

Jack spotted him at that moment and his relief was evident. "Lou, thank god. I need you to do something for me!"

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Having been given his mission, he set off to find Sam Carter. He caught up to her as she was leaving the control room and followed her when he saw her suddenly stop, put her hand to the wall for support and then weave her way into Jack's office. He wasn't surprised to find her losing what little she'd had to eat. But before he could make his presence known she had finished and slumped down along the wall. He made a noise to alert her before he spoke.

"It happens to all of us, kiddo, so don't feel bad," he remarked.

Sam looked at him in confusion. She'd almost killed the man she loved. She was sure that he wasn't talking about that.

Lou could literally see her mind working over his statement and the perplexed look on her face almost made him laugh. Instead he sat down next to her with a sigh,

"No not exactly what just happened to you, Sam. The frat regs are there for a reason, so we don't have to make those types of decisions about someone we are involved with. But any of us in a command position eventually have to make a judgment call knowing that we are putting someone's life in danger. And sometimes we have the bad fortune to be looking the person right in the eye when we have to make that call," he confessed. "It's never easy. It's not supposed to be. Both Jack and I have been there, and we've also seen men freeze under those conditions and not be able to do their jobs. That's why we are so proud of you," he concluded wrapping his arm around her shoulders and giving her a hug.

"Proud?" she asked in a quiet rough voice. After a moment she turned to him with tears in her eyes. "How can he not hate me?"

"Oh, Sam he doesn't hate you. He hates that you were put into that position, but he definitely doesn't hate _you_. You did what you had to do and that took a lot of courage," he assured her.

Sam sat quietly and thought about everything a bit more rationally. Jack O'Neill was one of the most honorable men she had ever met, and she knew that if the positions had been reversed he would have given the order just as she had. It would have killed him, but he would have done it. And with that realization came a bit of pride in herself.

Lou watched and waited as Sam processed what he had said. He knew the moment he saw her shoulders straighten and her chin raise a bit that she had gotten the message. When she brushed a hand across her face and gave him a smile he knew for sure that she was going to be just fine. Then he saw her brows crease again.

"How's Jack?" she asked with a hint of panic is n voice.

"Giving the Doc hell," Lou told her with a grin, as the two made their way to their feet. "Now why don't you stop and splash some water on your face and I'll take you down to the infirmary to see for yourself."

Sam nodded and turned to away before quickly turning back and giving him a hug. "Thanks, Lou," she whispered.

And then she was walked on ahead with her head held high.

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They reached the infirmary just as Janet was kicking everyone out. Hammond gave her a nod as he passed, and Teal'c did the same, but Daniel stopped and was about to say something. Sam however cut him off with a glare. Lou and Janet would both report later to Jack that it was the best impression of his 'bad-ass Colonel' glare that they had ever seen and it had shocked Daniel into silence. Truthfully it had shocked Janet enough that she hadn't even thought to argue with Sam about going in to see Jack. She simply informed her that she had five minutes, no more.

Sam kept to the five minutes and then went to her quarters for some much needed sleep. She was back six hours later though laptop in hand and quietly slipped into a chair in the corner near Jack to keep watch. Janet found her there ten minutes but Sam was typing quietly away and Janet didn't have a good reason to toss her out seeing as she wasn't disturbing anyone. Besides she knew her patient would be waking up soon and a familiar face would be welcome.

Sure enough Jack opened his eyes about twenty minutes later. He watched Sam for a good three minutes silently enjoying being able to study her before she looked up and met his eyes. Instantly she smiled and it was better than any pain pills the Doc could prescribe.

"Hey there," Sam greeted him her smile dimming slightly in concern. "How are you feeling?" she asked only to stop and frown even more. "Wait that's a really stupid question, you probably feel like you've been run over by a truck," she babbled as she put her PC aside and rose. "Do you need water?" she continued looking around before he finally stopped her rambling even though he was finding it highly amusing.

"Sam, I'm fine," he said, although the roughness in his voice indicated he really could use the water she had offered.

She must have noticed because a moment later there was a glass with a straw being brought to his lips and after taking a long sip he sighed and tried again. "How are you, did you get any sleep?"

"Yeah, I slept," she told him, and when he raised an eyebrow she chuckled. "Scout's honor!"

"You so were not a girl scout," Jack replied which brought back the smile to Sam's face.

"I'd better let Janet know you are awake," she said taking a step towards the curtain that surrounded him, but he reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could get to far away.

"You did good Sam," he told her causing her to look back at him. He used the opportunity to turn on the charm. There was something he definitely needed before the Doc came and started torturing him with all of her tests. "C'mere," he insisted giving her wrist a tug.

With a sigh Sam gave in, and leaned down to give him a quick kiss which he instantly deepened. She was just about to sink down on the bed next to him when they heard a loud throat clearing a few feet away. Sam stood up with her back to the Doctor as she regained her composure, but Jack just looked over at the angry woman with the clipboard and gave her his best "I didn't do it" innocent smile.

"Doc! Come join the party," he teased.

"I doubt Sam would appreciate me jumping into to middle of the party activities I just witnessed, Colonel. And I _know_ that even you couldn't handle both of us, especially in your condition," Janet shot back.

Jack's eyes widened at the implication even as he heard Sam giggle. Knowing he was beat he nodded in agreement. "That's true, Doc. Sam's more than enough for me to handle, even though I feel just fine."

"I'll be the judge of that, Colonel," Janet stated with a gleam in her eye, picking up his chart and her stethoscope.

Sam took the opportunity to leave, grinning as she heard Jack beg her not to leave him alone to be tortured by the "little Napoleon".

She ran into Lou on her way out and spotting her smile he couldn't help but comment. "So it looks like all's well that end's well."

Sam nodded, even as she scolded her friend. "Don't let Jack hear you use such an awful cliché."

"I'm not worried. I know this kick-ass scientist who would protect me," he told her.

Sam couldn't help the way her grin widened. A year ago she never could have imagined anyone every referring to her in that manner, and she had to admit it felt really good.

Kick-ass scientist. She could learn to live with that.

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TBC


	19. Ancient Love

Author's note:

I know this is short, but I wanted to post something before the weekend. The new floor is in (wood for those who asked) and now I'm in the cleaning up the mess stage. Lame excuse but hopefully those who have undertaken renovations will understand.

Also, I had to look up LATIN for this part (total brain drain)

Since Ancient is supposed to be similar to Latin I took the Latin words for what I wanted and butchered them slightly. I think what I used is in context enough to be understood, but just incase, here is the translation.

Fron: Cannon ancient word for 'head'

Nimi-cura: My made up term for 'worry wart' or 'mother hen'

And Jack's last line is of course 'I love you, so much, forever.'

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam's hit the ramp after exiting the wormhole that had brought her back to Earth from P1X-114 with a weary smile on her face. The mission had been long and dirty but she had loved every minute of it. The planet had offered up some wonderful plant life that the botanist of the group Dr. Harvey was quite excited about and the mineral samples were also very promising. Best of all they had found an abandoned cave that had obviously been a supply repository of some sort as there had been crates of food, long disintegrated into dust, and a wall full of gadgets that had Sam salivating. Most appeared to be alien versions of things they already had on Earth, flashlights, radios of a fashion, and data storage devices. It was the energy source powering the simple devices and any data still remaining on the storage devices that she would be getting to work on as soon as she got to her lab.

Life had been far from quiet the last three months at the SGC, but there had been no dire threats to Earth, and no one had come close to dying since Teal'c had almost turned into a bug. Granted, Daniel was still reeling a bit from finding Shar'e and helping her to give birth to her son, but getting to actually spend time with his wife had given him renewed hope that she could one day be rescued. And he and Sam were talking again, so that was good. He'd even accompanied Sam along with Jack when she finally went to visit the Tok'ra, and had been a big help in setting up initial relations with them suggesting that anyone at the SGC with clearance be apprised of the fact the Tok'ra were short of hosts and that blending with a symbiote was an option open to any of them in the future. To their surprise they already had a volunteer in a young SF who had recently been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor.

And with the relative quiet she'd had time to finally feel settled in her relationship with Jack O'Neill. Although they had not officially discussed it, Sam's lease was up in two months and she had no plans to renew it as she was all but living with Jack now. She supposed she should bring up the subject so she could officially start changing her mail over and figure out what to do with her few pieces of furniture.

She knew SG1 had been scheduled to go off-world the day before and was not scheduled back until the next day, so she figured after a hot shower, her check-up, the debriefing and some food, she would get a few hours work done in the lab tonight so she wouldn't feel guilty going home on time when Jack returned tomorrow. All of that was running through her head as she handed her weapons over at the foot of the ramp and listened to her CO for the mission, Major Herman give a brief summary to Hammond. She was totally unprepared for Hammond to pull her aside and ask her to stop in the infirmary first.

Her heart was pounding by the time she arrived, but it seemed to stop when she saw Jack sitting on the bed being checked over by Janet. It started up quickly and she gave a huge sigh of relief when she realized he was complaining loudly.

"Doc, honest, I'm fine. A guy stumbles over a word and you all go bonkers. Really, I think maybe _you_ need some downtime," he grumbled. Then spotting Sam at the door he exclaimed, "Carter, thank goodness! Be the voice of reason. Tell them my mouth gets ahead of my fron all the time, will ya?"

Sam looked at him as if trying to figure out the joke, "Well it is true, he's always sticking his foot in his mouth, but I'm not sure about the fron part," she admitted.

Daniel stepped forward at the point. "I'll fill you in Sam, why don't we talk in the hall."

"Don't listen to him Carter, he's being a nimi-cura," Jack griped to Sam's further confusion.

Five minutes later she re-entered the infirmary trying to maintain her composure. Janet had completed all of her tests, and Jack was free to leave, but was of course confined to the base. "See, Sam, I'm fine. It's not like I had much in my brain that could have been messed with anyway," he teased.

Sam grinned despite herself, "Well there is that," she agreed.

Still she couldn't help but feel that things were going to get a lot worse before this was over.

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The next several days were endless as Sam slowly descended into what felt like hell, especially when she'd almost died of sunstroke trying to find an answer for Jack's deteriorating condition. As the hours passed she felt more and more helpless, something that she was definitely not used to. She couldn't even communicate with Jack any more, either verbally or by reading is body language. She was worried that the Jack she knew was no longer there.

Still as they watched him dial the add eight symbol address and head for the gate she followed without question, unwilling to let him go without being there to silently say goodbye. When he hesitated she had a crazy moment of hoping that he had changed his mind.

Then he turned to her, put his hand on her cheek and slowly and clearly said the words "Ego amoria tue magnis, usqueque."

The next minute he was gone through the open wormhole.

Sam forced herself not to make a sound in protest even though her mind was screaming and her heart was literally hurting. She continued to stare at the spot where he had disappeared for a long moment after the wormhole had actually shut down. Even then it was only Daniel's voice that broke the trance.

"Uh, Sam, he said," he began, but before he could continue Sam raised a finger to his lips to shush him.

"I know what he said Daniel," she told him quietly and then without another word left the gate room.

Daniel looked at Teal'c in confusion wondering how Sam had understood the Ancient phrase Jack had uttered. Teal'c took pity on his teammate and explained gently. "Some things need no translation Daniel Jackson, especially matters of the heart," and he followed Sam from the room at a respectful distance.

Meanwhile Sam was desperately trying to make it to her quarters before she collapsed into tears. When three desperate stabs at the elevator button had not yielded results quickly enough she had taken to the stairs. She made it up two flights before her knees gave out. Sliding down into the corner on the landing she took in two large gulps of air while trying to maintain control. On the third she let out a low wail and allowed the tears to fall, praying no one else would decide to use the stairs for a bit.

She didn't need to worry. Teal'c was one floor below and on hearing her stop he had sent for Lou to guard the upper doorway. No one would be disturbing Sam until she was ready and then Lou would be there to escort her to quarters and stay with her until she fell into an exhausted sleep.

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TBC


	20. No Fighting It

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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It had been four hours since Jack O'Neill had walked through the Stargate to an unknown location. While there was still hope that he would return, the mood of the base was somber. Be that as it may, Hammond needed to maintain control of operations and the first order of business was to run a diagnostic on the gate. He had started to call for Dr. Carter to come to the control room, but was interrupted by Daniel Jackson who had informed him that Sam was in desperate need of sleep. Major Henry Boyd was happy to step in and offer to run the needed computer checks. While he wasn't as close to Sam as the rest of SG1 he knew that Dr. Jackson was covering for her. Since he didn't feel she would want him helping to watch over her in her vulnerable state, this was something he could do to assist.

Strangely enough it had been Jack who had assigned him to learn as much about the Stargate as he could when he had joined SG1, and asked Sam to teach him. It had been just after the Jolinar incident and Henry had never been sure if was to give Sam something to concentrate on other than her ordeal or to let the base see through Boyd that Sam was still a trusted and needed member of the SGC.

Either way it had been beneficial to both Sam and Henry as they had worked well together and now he was available as a backup to do some of the more routine work on the gate. It had been painfully obvious when she had been in hiding that her knowledge was vital to the command.

He had been working for about three hours and was about to take a break and get some coffee when the gate began to activate. The Iris opened of it's own accord and even as Hammond rushed in yelling to shut it again Jack O'Neill stepped through and stopped at the bottom of the ramp. He looked exhausted, but there was a familiar twinkle in his eyes as he viewed the guns raised in his direction.

"Miss me?' he quipped, but even as he said it his eyes were roaming past the SF's with their raised guns obviously looking for someone in particular.

As Hammond approached giving orders to get Jack to the infirmary to be checked out, Henry managed to fall in beside him and quietly inform him that Sam had finally succumbed to exhaustion and he would let her and the rest of SG1 know that he was back and under Doc Fraiser's care. Jack nodded his thanks and made his way reluctantly to the infirmary wishing for nothing more than a hot shower and to join Sam in bed. That was all the medicine he needed at the moment.

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After a brief discussion between the men where they had debated the merits of risking Sam's wrath to let her get a bit more sleep, Lou finally agreed to wake her and give her the news. Five minutes later she was hurrying down to the infirmary feeling a definite sense of deja vu. Especially when she reached her destination to find Jack griping that he was just fine.

As she came to a halt near the door where she could see Janet trying to examine him while he protested loudly she could almost imagine that the last few days had never occurred, that the worry and heartache had been a bad dream. Then Jack looked up and met her eyes and she saw the exhaustion etched in his face and knew that her features mirrored the same bone weariness. With a sigh she took a step into the room.

"Let Janet do her job, Jack. The sooner she finishes the sooner we can go home," she chastised gently.

Jack easily was able to decipher that her need to leave was just as great as his so he turned to Janet and gave one last gripe. "Fine, but I swear if you try to shine one of those little lights in my eyes I'm going to report you to the AMA for cruel and unusual treatment of your patients," he warned.

Janet, just as quick on the uptake, took that to mean that she had about an hour before he reached his limit of submitting quietly, and efficiently ordered the tests she needed to get done. Fifty minutes later she sent Jack off to report to Hammond while she waited for the last of the results to be returned. By the time he was done with his debriefing, a meeting that all of SG1 along with Sam and Lou sat in on without even being officially invited to, Janet was able to give him a clean bill of health.

He paused just long enough to invite his team and Lou over to his place the following night, and then he had Sam drive him home. The drive was quiet and Jack found himself drifting just barely awake until they pulled up in his driveway. The two of them sat for a minute as if it was too much of an effort to get out of the truck, then without a word they both reached for their door handles simultaneously, which caused them to smile and shake their heads at how atuned they were to each other. They made their way inside to the bedroom, slowly undressed just to the point where they would be comfortable, and fell into bed still without uttering a word.

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Jack woke in the morning slowly, not really wanting to face the world yet. He was home in his own bed, his head was clear, and he had a beautiful blond wrapped in his arms. He was in no hurry to go anywhere. Although as awareness gradually crept in he realized that it was more like he was in her arms, and she was holding on for dear life. As a matter of fact when he tried to move a bit her grip tightened even more. He frowned, momentarily confused. Sam wasn't normally clingy. Then with a sigh he acknowledged that she usually didn't have a reason to be. Normally when Jack was narrowly cheating death she didn't have a front row seat. Remembering back he thought about how she had reacted to the robot double incident a year ago. She had pulled away from him then, trying to protect herself from further hurt.

He hoped this latest fiasco wasn't going to negatively affect the relationship they had now. He wanted to ask her to officially move in with him. He'd even been flirting with the idea of marriage again, but something was holding him back. As much as he loved Sam and could see spending the rest of his life with her, marriage opened up a whole other discussion on having kids, something he definitely wasn't ready to think about yet.

Deciding that his content mood was shattered at this point he slowly escaped from Sam's grip, and headed for the shower. By the time the water was heated up and he was starting to relax into it the shower door opened and Sam joined him with a sexy smile. Jack returned the smile in relief. She definitely wasn't pulling away this time.

It would be several hours before they managed to make it to the kitchen for breakfast.

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Sam smiled as she pulled up to Jack's house with the last of the boxes from her apartment. In the month since he'd had the Ancient database downloaded into his head, they had come to a mutual understanding pretty much without even discussing things too much. They were together for the long haul and whatever that entailed in the future would work itself out. Other that her crying jag in the stairway the day Jack had gone off to see the Asguard, and her subconscious clinging in bed the morning he had returned she hadn't shown any further angst. She was smart enough now not to try to fight her feelings for Jack. She had resolved herself to the fact that they had dangerous jobs, Jack's even more so than hers. Life never came with guarantees anyway she reminded herself, thinking of her mother's early senseless death. You couldn't stop living because of what the future might bring. If anything you should live life more fully knowing that every day was a gift.

And she did. She still felt a thrill every time she went through the gate. And when Jack was gone and she was Earth-bound she spent hours in her lab learning everything she could about alien technology. A scientist at heart she loved every discovery large or small.

And when the two of them were both home on terra firma they balanced their time between enjoying evenings with their SGC family and spending time alone wrapped in each other's arms.

Neither of them could remember when they had been quite as happy or fulfilled, and both knew that it was a time to be cherished, for the only constant in both of their lives had always been that things can change in a heartbeat.

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TBC


	21. Moving On

Author's Note: I hate that it is taking me a week to up-date right now, but such is life. With the nicer weather there is gardening and yard work to get done…. I'm still on target to finish this is in 4 to 5 more chapters though.

Thanks to all of you who have kept reviewing. It keeps me motivated!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam stood at the grave sight, back straight, eyes focused on the ground just in front of the casket as the sound of the rifles firing echoed in her ears. That noise was being drowned out however by the words that were repeating in her head.

'_Should have thought about the glass'_

Jack O'Neill was similarly standing at attention, but there were a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts running through his mind. The largest conflict was caused by the emotions that the man being buried today has forcing Jack to face. Anger over the abandonment that had occurred years before, sadness over the friendship lost as a result, guilt at not having accepted the olive branch that Cromwell had offered before he died helping Jack to save the planet.

With a sigh his eyes flick to Cromwell's widow Mary. Once upon a time, she and Frank had been his and Sara's best friends. Then it had all turned to dust. First the friendship, then his marriage. Had he learned anything from all of that? His eyes moved briefly to where his ex-wife stood quietly lending her support to her old friend. Conflict number two. He never knew exactly how to act around Sara. He would always care for her and certainly never wanted to cause her any more heartache, so he generally avoided any interaction. But he could see her glancing at him occasionally and her eyes would flicker to Sam then back before looking away. He was going to have to at least talk to her today and introduce Sam.

Conflict number three, he sighed as he glanced at the woman next to him. His feelings for her were far from conflicted. He loved her, there was no question there. But watching her now he knew that she was blaming herself for Cromwell's death, and he wasn't sure what to do about it. Actually he knew what to do but it would require opening himself up and talking to her about feelings and thus the conflict.

As the funeral ended and they headed to a small gathering being held at one of Frank's teammates home he knew that he owed her at least that much. She'd made such progress lately regaining her confidence after Jolinar and he refused to let her backslide. So he jumped in with both feet.

"I should have thought about that window being a hazard," he stated, watching for her reaction.

Her eye's widened in surprised and he heard her suck in a quick breath. Bingo. He'd nailed it.

"That's just what I was thinking," Sam admitted.

"It was my mission and I'm trained to plan for all possibilities," Jack told her. "I should have realized it was dangerous using those ropes so close to a window."

"You had no idea that the effects of the black hole could break it, but I should have thought of it," Sam insisted.

"Your job was to come up with the plan and figure out how much and where the charge should be, Sam. You can't think of everything," Jack argued. "Besides, you were operating on a lot less sleep than I was," Jack pointed out.

"How do you figure that?" Sam asked in confusion.

"You went top side and more time passed for you than it did for me. And don't even try to tell me you got any sleep up there. I know you didn't rest until you came up with the answer," Jack explained.

"Still, that's no excuse," Sam said with a sigh.

"Sam, if there's one thing I've learned in all of my years of leading missions is that sometimes things happen that you just couldn't plan on. It's not exactly like either of us has ever had to deal with the effects of a black hole on an up-close and personal basis before. Hopefully you learn from any mistakes or unexpected glitches, and move on. It doesn't mean that you are not sorry for what happened. It just means that you know you did the best you could in the circumstances. You came up with a plan and convinced all of the powers-that-be that your plan was better than their plan. And you executed your plan and it worked. I'd say you did your very best under the circumstances. I put aside my differences with Frank long enough to work with him side by side. We both knew that what we were doing was extremely dangerous. We did our best," Jack concluded.

Sam was quiet for a moment, then nodded. "I guess you're right," she admitted.

"Of course I am," Jack declared with a grin, congratulating himself when he was rewarded with a trace of a smile. Then he grew serious again. "Now for the bad news. My ex-wife was at the funeral and I'm sure she will be at this gathering also. We won't stay long, just pay our respects and leave, but I am going to need to introduce you to her."

He could almost hear the wheels turning. He had no idea what her reaction was going to be although he knew she was feeling a bit nervous by the way she bit down on her lower lip. After a full minute of silence though she started to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" he asked her in confusion.

"Exactly what are you going to introduce me as?" she asked, knowing that the Jack she knew and loved hadn't thought that far ahead and now would be totally panicking.

Sure enough he looked a bit like deer caught in the headlights of a car. He opened his mouth twice and then closed it again thinking better of his answer. Finally Sam took pity on him.

"I think you could just introduce me as a good friend, Jack. They can infer the rest," she told him. "Sara will probably corner you quietly to get the scoop, and you can tell her as much as you are comfortable with."

Jack noticeably relaxed, and they began looking for a parking spot on the crowded street. Several minutes later they have made it into the house and paid their respects. Both Frank's widow and Sara had looked curious when Sam was introduced, but Jack kept the meeting brief and they were left to wonder on their own as Sam had predicted. However it wasn't Jack that Sara O'Neill sought out five minutes later. Waiting until she noticed her ex-husband quietly talking to a few old Air Force buddies she made a beeline for Sam.

"Dr. Carter, did you get something to eat?" she asked politely to break the ice.

"No, but I'm not really hungry, thank you," Sam assured her.

"So how long have you known Jack?" Sara inquired.

"About two years," Sam replied.

"Since you are not in uniform can I assume that you are not in the Air Force?" Sara inquired.

"No, I'm a civilian scientist. I was hired as a technical advisor, and occasionally I work with Jack's team," Sam replied only slightly wavering from the truth.

"All top secret stuff that you can't talk about I'm sure, but seeing as you are here with Jack today, can I assume that you are in a more personal relationship as well?" Sara asked bluntly.

"We've been dating, yes," Sam carefully replied. She really didn't think it was her place to tell the woman she was living with her ex.

Sara looked uncomfortable but determined. "Part of me feels like there is a lot I should tell you, but I'm not sure it is any of my business," she finally said with a frown.

"I know enough," Sam assured her, "and what I don't know I can guess."

Sara nodded, understanding that Sam was politely agreeing that it was none of her business. Still she couldn't help but wonder just how close the younger woman was to her ex-husband since neither was giving anything away. Just then Jack freed himself from his conversation and stepped over to rescue Sam.

"Sara," he greeted her with a nod. "Sam and I need to get going, but it was nice seeing you even if the circumstances were not the best."

"You too, Jack. Sam, it was nice to meet you," Sara politely acknowledged.

The two stopped to offer their final condolences to Mary Cromwell on the way out and Sara watched them carefully. As they were exiting the house she saw Sam give a sigh that seemed relieved, and Jack put an arm around her shoulder and said something to her. For just an instant their eyes met before they continued on out the door.

That one look was all that she needed to know one thing for sure. Whether or not she was over Jack O'Neill, he had definitely moved on.

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TBC


	22. The Band gets together

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam sat on the edge of the bed in the infirmary watching the organized chaos surrounding her silently. The last twenty-four hours had taken quite a toll on the SGC staff, and everywhere she looked there was an injured person either waiting for or receiving treatment. The cut on her hand was rather minor so after cleaning it up briefly and giving her a compress and something for the pain Lt. Adams had hurried off promising someone would be back to stitch up the wound as soon as possible.

Jack she knew as helping with base clean-up along with Teal'c, and Daniel she had heard was in with Hammond briefing the president on the outcome of the Re'tu attack. Major Boyd had been whisked off to radiology an hour ago to get pictures of his broken leg. It looked like he was going to be out of commission for six to eight weeks. Sam looked around once again. It looked to her like Henry wasn't going to be the only one out of commission for a while. There were at least three other crewmen that she could see already supporting casts. She looked down at her hand and realized she was lucky. Her injury shouldn't slow her down too much.

An hour later she was already back to work in the control room running diagnostics when Hammond walked in to get a report. He didn't hide his surprise at seeing her there.

"Dr. Carter, I heard you were injured," he declared looking her up and down.

"Just a cut sir," she assured him showing him her hand.

Just then the computer beeped to let Sam know that her diagnostic run was complete so she missed the widening of Hammond's eyes at the sight of her hand, and the sudden intake of breath as he realized just what he was seeing meant. Sam nodded already engrossed in the numbers on the screen as he excused himself, so she didn't know that George Hammond headed straight to his office and the red phone.

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The next day Jack was surprised to be interrupted from his never ending paperwork by a summons from the General. With Boyd out of commission he'd figured SG1 would have a bit of time on-world to content with. Instead Hammond informed him that Dr. Carter was being assigned to SG1 until such time as Boyd was cleared for active duty.

This of course left Jack with a dilemma. Carter wasn't military, so the frat regs didn't strictly apply, still the spirit if the law still was valid. So Jack reluctantly began to point out that he and Carter were in a relationship only to have the General cut him off.

"The President and I agree on this Colonel. We are treating it as a case of _Don't ask, Don't tell_," he told his 2IC.

When Jack made as if to protest that that rule didn't really apply Hammond again interrupted. "It's the same idea, son, and we really want Dr. Carter to fill in on SG1 for a few months. I expect you both to act professionally as always when you're on base or off-world."

Jack was left confused but without any doubts that Hammond knew something he didn't, and since he trusted the man he let it go. A similar conversation occurred an hour later between the General and Sam. By the end of the day, she was officially a member of SG1 and the team went out to celebrate, stopping off in the infirmary to see Henry Boyd.

"So you're stealing my spot now, are you Sam?" he joked.

"Gosh, no. You all get into way too much trouble for me," she insisted. "So you better hurry up and get back on your feet. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to put up with these three before I'm ready to kill them myself," she teased.

She didn't really mean it as a challenge, but a week later she was wondering if her new teammates had taken it that way.

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It was amazing how even stuck more than twenty-five years in the past, dressed in clothes that seemed like costumes and riding around in a vehicle that she would normally consider vintage her three companions still managed to be so distinctly annoying. It wasn't as if she had done anything to cause this little mishap, but all three seemed to think that as it was her first trip through the gate as a member of SG1 it must somehow be her fault that everything had gone wrong.

But mostly she was upset by how they kept looking at her as if she could just wave a magic wand and fix it. Hadn't Tobias or Boyd managed to train them not to expect miracles? Or at the very least gotten it through their thick heads that it was hard work to pull off those miracles? She guessed not, because when the answer finally came to her and she declared that solar flares were the cause of their little unplanned trip they looked like they had known that all along and had just been waiting for her to catch up.

Once she'd done the hard part and they had a plan for getting back home she let her brain wander a bit to everything that had occurred over the past week, and she gradually began to understand that Hammond had known what was about to occur to his flagship team and had been prepared for it. He'd even had her study the effects of solar flares on wormholes several years before. As the pieces came together in her mind she couldn't help but look forward to having a little talk with Hammond on her return.

But first they needed to get back, and of course nothing went exactly as planned. Thank goodness for Cassie, although the thought of how the young girl came to be in the gate room all those years in the future gave Sam a headache. As a matter of fact the idea of how all of their pasts and futures had become intertwined would give Sam pause for thought many times in the years to come.

And Cassie's vague prediction that they all had a lot more to do in the years to come only made her wonder even more. All of the things she had already been through had led her to the point where she had been able to join SG1 on that mission, a mission that had been destined to happen long before she'd been in the car accident that should have prevented her from actually participating in it.

What more could fate possible have in store for her in the future?

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TBC


	23. Promises

Author's Notes:

Wow! I've made it to the end of season two/beginning of three. I always figured that when Sam rescued Jack during "Into the Fire" it was a major turning point in their relationship, just wish it had been as big as I'm making it here. Just to let you know that real life is not being kind. I had a four day week-end where I had hoped to really get some writing done, but instead spent hours and hours getting cars fixed. Still, hopefully with the holiday I should get the next chapter whipped into shape in a timely manner.

Thanks for hanging in there!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam had a long talk with Hammond after they returned from their trip back to the 1960's. It turned out that he hadn't figured out that the woman he'd met back on that fateful day was Sam until she'd shown up at the SGC over a year ago. Then he'd racked his brain trying to remember if the woman who had been part of the rag-tag group had limped or not. He wasn't positive but he had pretty much committed that fateful meeting to memory and didn't think she had which was confusing until the whole Jolinar incident occurred. He'd thought about adding Sam to SG1 when Tobias had first left, but was unable to convince the powers that be that she was combat ready. Then after Jolinar they thought that she was still too much of an unknown security risk with her Tok'ra memories. However when he'd seen the cut on her hand after the Re'tu attack, and with Boyd out of action he was able to convince the President of the need to put her on SG1 at least temporarily.

So Sam settled in to enjoy her limited time with SG1. The first few weeks were fairly routine. Their missions included two first encounters with the populations of planets that they to hoped establish trade with, and two very quiet missions where they had been checking out ruins on planets previously occupied by a Goa'uld system lord. In neither case did they find anything of interest. But the missions gave them a chance to bond even further and Sam wasn't required to perform any miracles which she was very grateful for.

Then disaster struck. When Sam woke up in what she thought was the SGC and was informed that she was the only survivor of SG1 she was devastated. She couldn't even fathom how she was supposed to live on in a world where everyone she knew was long gone. And her heart ached as if a hand was squeezing it when she thought of a future without Jack. The doctors had tried to stimulate some memories but had eventually sedated her as she had become so agitated.

So it wasn't surprising that she when she was first woken up by Jack urgently calling her name she was a bit disoriented. At first she thought he was an illusion, but as he helped her sit up she realized that his hand on her shoulder was very real, and her brain quickly caught up to the fact that everything she had been told was a lie. She was instantly on alert, so she didn't miss the look Jack gave her as he realized she was naked. It was one of many good moments from that mission that she would focus on later when the awful memories were causing a lack of sleep.

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There was no way Janet was going to let any of her three charges out of the infirmary easily. After all they had all been subjected to some sort of cryogenic freezing, and Colonel O'Neill had been implanted with a Goa'uld symbiote. They would all be in the infirmary until Janet had the results of every single test she could think of. Sam wasn't surprised when a nightmare woke her after only an hour of sleep the first night. She figured that the memory of Jack being implanted was going to be on repeat for many a night to come. She also knew there was no way she would get back to sleep without checking on him herself.

When she snuck behind the curtain that separated them she stopped, momentarily startled by the dark shape that she spotted in the corner. Then she let out a breath as she realized it was Teal'c standing guard. He said nothing, just pulled up another chair for her and when she settled into it he disappeared quickly to return with a blanket that he tucked around her. She smiled her thanks and then focused her eyes on Jack letting his steady breathing sooth her. However it wasn't long before she could tell his sleep was also being disturbed by less than pleasant dreams. Teal'c quietly woke him before the thrashing could become too violent. After sitting up and squinting in the half light as his teammate Jack leaned back into the pillows and spoke.

"Carter ok?" he inquired.

"Right here Jack," she whispered from his left side and he turned to check on her before he nodded. "How about Daniel?"

"Dr. Jackson was sleeping soundly when I last checked," Teal'c replied.

Jack nodded again and then sitting up again obviously decided that sleep wasn't an option. "Anybody got a deck of cards?"

Another voice joined the conversation. "There's a deck in the cabinet near the door. I'll grab them," Daniel offered from outside the curtain. When the curtain parted a minute later he was carrying the cards and a chair for himself.

"Glad you could join the party Danny boy. Too bad Boyd's not still here. We could get quite a poker game going," Jack lamented.

That's how Janet found them several hours later when she entered the infirmary. Her first instinct was to scold them all, but after looking carefully at the masks that her three patients all had carefully in place she simply clucked and shook her head, determined to slip them all sleeping pills before bed that evening.

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Sam was released a whole day before Jack, so she did the grocery shopping and sorted the mail so that when he got home they could relax. After driving him home from the base they padded around the kitchen making dinner. The entire time she could feel his eyes on her. Finally as she put the chicken in the oven she turned to him with her hands on her hips.

"What?" she demanded knowing there was something going on.

"Nothing," he said shaking his head.

She wasn't buying it. "Just spit it out, Jack."

He paused for a moment. He wasn't sure how to say this, because although it was a simple thing it meant the world to him. So he took her advice and just simply said it. "You came back for me."

Sam sighed. She'd already been dressed down by Reynolds for it, although she'd covered by stating that she simply had found him when searching for the shield generator. She could lie to Jack though.

"Yes, I did," she admitted, giving him a look that dared him to reprimand her.

He looked her right in the eye. "Thanks."

She was startled at first and then remembered how he'd been left behind for dead in Iraq all those years before. With a sigh she walked right up to him and lifted one hand to his cheek meeting his eyes with a sincere look. "No matter how long it takes I will _always_ come back for you," she promised.

He started to tell her not to make promises she couldn't keep, but then he took a good look at her. There was so much love and determination there that somehow he truly believed that if anyone could keep that promise, it was Sam Carter. So he responded with the only thing that made sense to him.

"Marry me."

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TBC


	24. That was easy

Author's Notes:

Over 300 reviews! I really can't believe it. Thanks for all the support. This part is short, but I thought a reward was in order, and I really didn't want you to have to wait a week for Sam's answer.

Happy 4th to all my American readers!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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"Marry me."

Sam must have looked as surprised as she felt because Jack immediately began back tracking.

"Oops did I day that out loud? Ah, heck Sam that's not how I meant to ask, or even when I meant to ask," he began. But by now Sam's mind, usually quick on the uptake had finally caught up to what was occurring and she simply silenced him with a kiss.

She'd meant for it to be a quick method of stopping his ramble, but Jack instantly deepened it hoping to distract her. Sam wasn't fooled by that though and as soon as they broke for air she stepped back and put her hand up to stop him from saying a word.

"No take backs," she declared.

He started to protest.

She shook her head, "No do-overs either."

He couldn't help but smile. She knew him so damn well.

Seeing that he was staying silent Sam smiled too. "So can I answer now?"

Jack nodded, and Sam put her lips up next to his ear so that her breath caused him to shiver in anticipation. She didn't make him wait long as she whispered her answer.

"Yes," she told him even as her lips found the spot on his neck that he loved. "Yes," she repeated as her lips moved down to his collarbone.

She would have repeated it again but Jack's lips found hers at that point and no more words were spoken for the next hour.

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Sam was dumping the horribly overcooked chicken into the trash when two arms wrapped around her from behind and Jack's lips found her neck.

"Guess we need to order some dinner," he quipped.

"I already called for pizza," Sam assured him. Something in her voice made him turn her to face him.

"Sam, are you have second thoughts?" he asked quietly.

Sam's eyes widened. "Holy Hannah, no, Jack!" she assured him. "No I was just thinking through how this affects the whole issue of me being on SG1."

"I think it falls under the whole _don't ask, don't tell _policy Hammond has going. We just won't go around announcing our engagement until Boyd is back. I mean we can tell our friends but for now we have them keep it quiet. Besides I still need to get you a ring. Once you are off SG1 we will do up the whole engagement thing right."

"I kind of think it was pretty perfect this time," Sam confessed.

"Me too," Jack agreed with a smirk. Before Sam could chastise him for being a pervert, he added, "So we can set a date and start making plans, and everything just not let Hammond and the powers that be in on our private life just yet."

"How long of an engagement were you thinking of, because I don't want a huge wedding so it won't take too long to plan," she warned.

"Sam, we could get married tomorrow and that would be fine with me. But for Hammond's sake what do you say to three months from now? Boyd should be back in a few weeks, so that should give us plenty of time," Jack suggested.

Sam looked at the calendar. That would put the wedding in March. Not the most pleasant month for a wedding, and certainly not a good month for a honeymoon unless they went someplace tropical. She flipped the pages and pointed to a month.

"May works better," she decided.

"Then May it is," Jack declared. "See that was easy."

But of course with that one phrase Jack O'Neill had just jinxed any hope for their engagement and wedding being anywhere close to easy.

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TBC


	25. Possibilities

Author's Notes:

Just a warning I am taking one of those writer's liberties I talked about way back t the beginning. On the show, our Sam was in the Air Force, and the Samantha in "Point of View" was not, so the writers got to play off the differences.

Since my Sam is NOT in the Air Force I thought it might be fun if the Sam that comes through the gate was!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Sam's time on SG1 was coming to a close and she was surprised to find that she had mixed feelings about it. She'd originally figured that being with Jack so much might be too much of a good thing, but she found that she loved how they worked so well together out in the field, and though all that testosterone was a bit much some days she was thrilled at the bond that she and 'the boys' had. On the other hand, lab projects were backing up and she understood Lt. Tobias' frustration a bit better now. Not to mention the fact that she'd had absolutely no free time to do more than the most basic of wedding plans.

Henry Boyd had gotten his cast off the week before, and was halfway through his physical therapy, so she guessed that there would only be one or two more missions before he took back his spot on the team. The mission that she was scheduled to go on the next day could very well be her last. She had to admit as much as she would miss it she was looking forward to life being a little less crazy. In the past month she had helped to track down the Goa'uld Seth hiding on Earth, watched helplessly as Daniel apparently went crazy, and worked with a little girl whose IQ made Sam feel totally inadequate.

There was also the fact that watching Jack with Merron had given her desire for kids a kick-start. He was going to be such a wonderful dad someday that it was hard not to want to get started on their family immediately. However she did see the logic in allowing themselves some time to just be married and enjoy being newly-weds before adding the stress of children to the mix.

So, although her parting from SG1 would be bittersweet she figured there were going to be plenty of other good things in her future that would keep her plenty busy.

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It was a new pinnacle of crazy and bazaar. A Major Carter and Colonel Kawalsky from an alternate reality had stepped through the mirror stored in Nevada and were now staring at SG1 and Hammond over a conference room table. Their world was being attacked by Aphosis, and they were losing the battle badly. Their Jack and Teal'c had both been killed by Aphosis' new first prime, and the Major had no clue as to Daniel's whereabouts. She and Kawalsky had been sent on a last ditch bid to try to find help through the mirror.

For Sam, looking at her alternate was totally spooky. Other than slightly shorter hair the woman was her exact match. It wouldn't be until they had a chance to meet and talk in the Major's temporary quarters that Sam would discover the many ways big and small that they differed.

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"So you weren't in the car accident with your mother," Sam concluded over a quiet dinner later that night.

"No, and you were?" the Major inquired.

"I was crippled," Sam confirmed with a nod.

"That explains why you didn't join the Air Force," Major Carter conjectured. "But you are fine now?"

"Jolinar's handiwork," Sam explained having already established that the Major had also been taken by the Tok'ra.

"Nice," her double commented. There was a long awkward pause before the Major calmly asked "So is the Colonel single in the reality?"

Sam studied the other her. She looked very sad, but she seemed to be holding it together much better than Sam knew she would be doing if her Jack was dead. Then it hit her.

"You aren't together in your reality?" she asked.

Carter looked suddenly tense. "He's was my CO," she stated bluntly.

"But you wanted to be together?" Sam speculated.

The woman across from her sighed and her whole body seemed to sag in defeat, "I did, I don't know how he felt. I guess I'll always wonder," she admitted.

Sam thought for a moment then pulled out the ring she wore on a chain around her neck, "Well if he's anything like the Jack O'Neill here, and in the one other alternate reality we encountered he felt the same way," she told the woman, the diamond of her engagement ring sparkling slightly in the light from the nearby lamp.

The Major's eyes widened, "But you are on SG1?"

"Yeah, strange story that," Sam began, and then proceeded to tell her how Hammond had put her on SG1.

They talked well into the night, until the Major finally couldn't keep her eyes open. As Sam made to leave she was stopped by few soft words.

"Thank you," the Major told her.

"For what?" Sam inquired.

"Just for letting me talk about Jack. If I get back to my world and have to move forward I doubt I'll probably need to cover up my feelings. It was nice for a few hours not to have to hide them," she confessed.

Sam nodded in understanding and left the woman to get some rest. She was going to need it.

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Two days later things had gotten even more chaotic. Major Carter started having seizures which they deduced were caused by entropic cascade failure from two Sam Carters being in the same multi-verse.

Then a plan was designed to try to help the alternate universe contact the Asguard, and both Carters had worked tirelessly to rebuild the ancient power generator needed to power the gate for the long distance dialing.

A mission had been launched and the plan had apparently worked. Sam's SG1 was now mostly back through mirror safely. They were only waiting for Jack who had paused when Major Carter stopped him. Sam watched as the two talked softly and then Jack gave the woman a hug and turned to walk through the gate. The two Sam's eyes met briefly and any jealousy Sam might have felt (can you be jealous of yourself?) was quickly squashed by the look in her counterpart's eye. The hug had been her closure and the look along with the way the Major straightened her shoulders depicted a woman that was gathering her strength to face her future.

Sam could only hope that if she ever had to face a similar fate she could be as brave.

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TBC


	26. Life Interupted

Author's Notes:

Despite pleas that I ignore the whole Edora fiasco (and it really was awful wasn't it?) this story demanded that it be dealt with. But Sam's path has been different up to this point and her path has had an effect on those around her, too. Including Jack O'Neill, who has maybe become a bit less pessimistic than the Jack of canon. At least in my little world he has.

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Something was going on. There was a buzz running through the SGC that even Sam who had been in her lab most of the morning couldn't ignore. When Jack came and started to fiddle with things long before lunch it was official. He knew something and her gut was telling her it wasn't all good news.

Sure enough directly after lunch she was summoned to Hammond's office. Whatever she had been expecting it wasn't a full time spot on SG1. It seemed that three new teams were being formed and with a shortage of officers ready to lead the new teams Hammond had suggested that Henry Boyd be given a command of his own although it was rare for a Major. Henry of course had jumped at the chance, leaving a void on SG1. Since Sam had been filling the spot for the past two months it had been agreed that she should remain for the time being even though that meant that there was only one actual Air Force officer on the team.

Now Hammond couldn't technically order her to take the position, as she was a civilian, however it wasn't exactly put to her as an optional move. The General probably didn't expect her to protest. However with her wedding date now less than four months away she felt the need. She and Jack could certainly continue to be discreet on duty but she had no intention of hiding their marriage.

But when she opened her mouth to protest the General quickly moved to shut her down. "I really don't want to know, Doctor," he reminded her. He certainly had his suspicions that there was a full blown relationship going on between Sam and Jack, but as long as he could claim ignorance he could keep his best team together. And he had no doubts that the team was just as strong with Sam Carter on it as it had been with Henry Boyd. Still the woman before him looked concerned. And that gave him cause for concern. Maybe he had missed something. He could tell her mind was working over time.

Sam was thinking quickly. Surely there was someway of letting Hammond know what the concern was without telling him. Then she had a brainstorm. Her engagement ring was on a long chain around her neck carefully hidden away. She raised her hand as if to flick her hair behind her ear and on the way back down she caught the chain and pulled it out of her collar. Her ring now proudly blinked in the light and she saw Hammond's eyes widen at the sight.

At first she thought he wasn't going to comment but then with a sigh he relented. "We could make it a trial period. Say six months?" he offered.

"How about three," she countered.

Hammond looked at the confident young woman in front of him. She had been through so much in her young life, even more so in the last year. But he could see that with the help of one Jack O'Neill she had come through everything even stronger than before. How could he possibly ask her to put off her future happiness for even a day? As for Jack, he could certainly understand why he had fallen for Sam Carter. And his 2IC was due for some happiness himself.

"Fine, three months should give us time to find a replacement," he agreed.

"Thank you sir," Sam grinned.

"Yes, well, you'd better send Colonel O'Neill in so I can tell him that there had been another change in plans. He'll need to be looking at possibly team members because when I said 'us' I meant it should give _him_ time to find someone. That should thrill him," Hammond stated with a chuckle.

Sam groaned slightly as she went to find Jack. He would not be happy at having to go through personnel files. Then she grinned. She'd just have to find a way to make it up to him.

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The next two months passed quickly. Nothing stayed calm around the SGC for long and those eight weeks were certainly no exception to the rule. After more than two years the fates of the two Abydonians that SG1 had sworn to save had both been resolved. In Skarra's case the outcome had been positive. Separated from the Goa'uld Klorel he was back with his people. Sha're however had not survived and the team was all still grieving in their own ways. Then to add to the stress they had jusy barely survived a foothold situation.

Currently the four were all just coming off of a forced couple of days of downtime that was to ensure that they had all recovered from the effects of a neural implant that had taken the form of an annoying man named Urgo. Today was their first scheduled mission back and as nice as the time off had been for Sam and Jack who had finally gotten their marriage license and in Sam's case bought her wedding dress, they were all glad to get back to work.

On paper the mission looked like the perfect way to ease back into things after a rough patch. The negotiations for naquadah did not seem like they were going to be problematic as the people of Edora were gentle and friendly. A bit too friendly for Sam's liking as one of the woman had taken an instant liking to Jack. He however was oblivious, or at least pretending to be, and although they stayed professional like always on a mission she had caught him looking at her once or twice over the campfire in the evening with a particularly heated look in his eyes.

She was sure the look was reflected in hers as she remembered their last few days off together. Jack had declared that they might as well treat it as a honeymoon since there was no telling in their line of work if they would actually get one after the wedding. Needless to say a majority of the time not spent on wedding plans or a bit of team bonding had been spent in bed. If they did get a real honeymoon it was going to be hard for it to top the unplanned pseudo one they had indulged in.

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It all went bad so quickly. The fire rain that had seemed so pretty until Sam had gotten her first inkling that it could be dangerous. Then had come the desperate pleas to the people of Edora to evacuate, and the final minutes when all hell had broken loose and Sam had just barely made it through the gate before it was hit. And the failed attempts to redial and send through a malp only to realize that there must be a problem on the other end, the hope that perhaps Jack would be able to dial out from his end that had slowly faded as the hours passed. Then finally the realization that the gate must be for all practical purposes sealed.

Sam had gone through all of the stages of grief at a rapid pace. But along with the acceptance that Jack was trapped had come the determination that she wasn't going to leave him behind.

After all, she had promised. No matter how long it took. She just hoped that he remembered that promise too.

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At first they were able to keep Sam on a fairly normal schedule. She ate, she slept, not a lot but enough. But as weeks passed and the day of her planned wedding drew nearer she became more obsessed. Until finally, on the actual day she was supposed to be wed she was impossible to deal with. The task of getting her out of the mountain finally fell to Teal'c, who literally carried her to the parking lot, and bundled her into a car where Daniel was waiting behind the wheel and Janet was in the back seat with a bottle of tequila. The first shots were poured before the car was even moving and the two women indulged several times before they reached Janet's place. Cassie was out for the night and they had all agreed that they would crash there to help Sam make it through the night.

Many, many light years away, Jack was dealing with missing his wedding in a similar fashion. The people of Edora that remained were having a party and for once Jack let himself indulge in the homemade liquor that practically ate a hole in his stomach. Still, he stopped after drinking just enough to dull his senses and slipped away to deal with the pain in private. Not wanting to go back to the house that Laira had been kind enough to share he grabbed a couple of blankets and headed to the edge of the lake where he often fished. From there he could see the stars and look up and hope that Sam could see some of the same ones from earth. It was the only connection he had to home. That and her voice in his head repeating that she would always come to find him no matter how long it took.

As crazy as everyone on Edora thought it was he was still clinging to the belief that he would indeed be seeing her again.

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TBC


	27. Never a Doubt

Author's Notes

Another short one... but we are coming to the end and I didn't want to rush it. The last chapters are not quite ready yet, but I am determined to get them polished and ready to post before I leave on vacation August 8th... I can do it! I WILL do it!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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General George Hammond watched the activity in the gate room with pride. The people under his command often amazed him and the mission they were about to undertake was no exception. One person in particular was on his mind though and as he watched it was easy to pick her out in the crowd below. She was the person in constant motion. He didn't think she had stopped moving since they had re-established communications with Teal'c and learned that he had made it to the surface of Edora safely, and had found their missing Colonel alive and well. Actually come to think of it she had not really stopped moving for the last three weeks, ever since it had become clear that they had a working solution to the problem of retrieving Jack O'Neill. Her determination and energy seemed boundless in those days. Now though she literally was blur as she checked equipment being loaded onto the Malp and conferred with the engineers and scientists who were assisting her.

Daniel Jackson and three SG teams were geared up and trying to stay out of the way, but George could tell that they were just as wound up as she was. They would be taking the equipment through to finish the job of digging out the gate and getting it operational so that the Edorians that had been stuck on Earth for the past three months could return home, something that no one had thought would be happening when the gate had gotten buried. But Sam Carter had accomplished the impossible, and he couldn't be prouder.

Sam's amazing scientific feat was the furthest thing from her mind as she double checked the equipment being loaded. She just wanted to get the teams safely through the gate so that she could see the man waiting on the other side. Three months of being apart was more than she ever wanted to have to live through again. Out of habit her hand went to her throat to play with the chain there.

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Halfway across the galaxy, Jack O'Neill was pacing, even as he chided himself for acting like a kid on his first date. He couldn't help it. For some reason he was nervous. Maybe it was the fact that during the last three weeks Laira had been increasing her advances towards him and even now she was watching from the distance as he and Teal'c stood guard over the hole that led to the buried gate. Jack frowned remembering their last discussion the night before Teal'c had arrived. She'd been spouting some nonsense about grieving for one hundred days. Heck he figured one hundred weeks wouldn't be enough time to come to grips with everything he had left behind on Earth.

Maybe that was why he'd retreated to the gate the next day the moment he was done helping in the fields. As was his habit he turned on his radio when he got there expecting to hear the same static that he always did, or even worse total silence if the battery finally had died. He'd used it as sparingly as possible, still, whenever he was at the site of the gate he usually turned it on for three minutes. That day after the first burst of static he'd heard a voice. And not just any voice. It had been Sam's voice announcing that the gate was reaching its thirty-eight minute window and would be shutting down. Teal'c had acknowledged. Jack had quickly grabbed the radio and called out. He hadn't been able to catch Sam as the gate had closed, but Teal'c had quickly responded and brought him up to speed. Soon Jack had every able bodied man he could find digging down to assist his friend out.

Now he was waiting. Something Jack O'Neill was certainly not very good at in the best of circumstances. Teal'c on the other hand was standing still as a rock, only occasionally glancing at his companion with what almost amounted to a grin. For many weeks he had witnessed Samantha Carter's anguish and silently wished for a happy outcome for her and O'Neill. When the Colonel's first words after helping Teal'c to the surface and inquiring after his well being had been to ask if Samantha was alright he'd known that the worry and pain of separation had not been one-sided. In truth he was looking forward to the reunion as well.

Suddenly the quiet was broken by a rumbling and the two men took a step back as the ground beneath their feet rocked slightly. Then their radios crackled to life and the sounds of their teammates coming through the gate could be heard. Sam was in the lead and hers was the first voice they could make out giving commands. Ropes had already been secured and soon several figures clambered out of the hole. Sam was in the first group, along with Daniel and Lou and when Jack saw her standing there he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Conscious of the men pouring out of the hole behind her Sam made a few tentative steps towards Jack. Daniel, having no such need for discretion started forward to greet his friend only to find that Lou had reached out to hold onto his sleeve.

"Give them a sec," he hissed.

Sure enough, barely a moment later both Jack and Sam's need to be in each other's arms won out against any thoughts of discretion and they were locked in an embrace the made even the marines grin. After three long months it seemed that for one brief shining moment all was right with the world and all of people looking on took a moment to appreciate the feeling.

Sam and Jack for their part were lost in their own world, one where everything was more that all right. Everything was perfect. It was a comment from Daniel that finally broke them out of their blissful haze.

"Maybe we should head to town. It looks like this is going to take a while," he quipped.

Sam had the grace to blush as they broke apart. But Jack just hung on to her and looked over her shoulder at his friend.

"Oh, no you don't. You have digging to do. Get started, boys. I have some very important business to attend to back on Earth," he ordered. Then he turned to Sam and ran his finger under her collar to get to the ring hidden there. "I sure hope our license is still valid."

Sam's smile was three month's in the making. "I checked before we left. It's good for another six weeks."

"Excellent!" Jack declared. Then swooping in for one more kiss before getting started on the serious work of digging he whispered in her ear. "I knew you would find a way, Sam. I never doubted it for a minute."

Sam blinked at the sudden loss of his arms and then turned to watch him greet the rest of the teams. With a sigh she too headed over to where the equipment was being set up. "I wish I'd been so sure," she murmured to thin air.

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TBC


	28. Cake!

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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They were married on a Tuesday.

Once Jack had returned to Earth and been given a _very_ extensive exam by Janet Fraiser and been declared fit, SG1 had been given one week's down time so that Jack could get his Earthly business in order. That was on a Monday. They were due back the following Monday. Sam had spent part of the three days they were on base before that putting her lab in order. As the work on the particle beam generator had reached its zenith, her normally well organized lab had fallen into chaos. Her assistants had begun the work of putting away equipment and documenting the final results, but a large part of the job was waiting on her. She also spent some time organizing a ceremony at Jack's request. Her final bit of business before leaving the mountain with him that Monday afternoon was to drop of a formal request with General Hammond to be removed from SG1.

As they had suspected might happen, Hammond was on the phone to Sam first thing Tuesday morning. She agreed to meet him at Jack's house but when he arrived he was met by Daniel Jackson, who ushered him in.

"It's good to see you General. Sam and Jack were hoping you would make it here today," he greeted the man with a grin.

Hammond looked slightly confused and was about to question Dr. Jackson when Lou Ferretti walked in and for the first time the General noticed something. Both men that faced him were dress shirts and slacks.

"Am I interrupting plans?" he asked, "Because Dr. Carter asked me to meet her here," he explained.

"You're not interrupting, plans, sir," Lou told him. "I think your being here is part of the plan. Come on in and help us keep Jack from climbing the walls."

With that they walked into the living room where Jack was standing also dressed formally, holding several ties and looking like a caged tiger. He looked up as Hammond entered and frowned.

"Maybe I _should_ go with the dress blues," he mumbled.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Sam vetoed them, remember? Wear the plain tie, the striped one is awful," he ordered.

Hammond was once again about to question the men when the doorbell rang. Jack jumped as if to go answer but Daniel stopped him. "Put your tie and shoes on, I'll get the door. That should be the chaplain."

Jack looked down as if he had just realized that he had no shoes on and then looked around frantically. Before he could get overly excited though Teal'c simply handed him the shoes and took the striped tie away from him, and Jack completed the tasks assigned without a word.

At the same time it occurred to George what was going on. And suddenly the headache that had begun when he received Sam Carter's request began to really escalate. It looked like another lengthy call to the president was in his future. Almost as if reading his thoughts Jack, now looking somewhat more put together spoke up at that point.

"So I bet you're wondering why the heck you're here, Sir," he began.

"Well, I'm pretty sure no one died, which means the suits and the chaplain must be for a totally different purpose. I'm assuming the bride will be arriving soon, seeing as she asked me here?" he said with a sigh.

"Any minute now. Did you process her transfer?" Jack asked.

"We can discuss that when you return next week. I imagine there will be many phone calls to DC between now and then," Hammond said shaking his head.

"Do you think there's a chance that Sam might be able to stay on SG1?" Daniel asked hopefully.

"At this point I really couldn't say. I know that the recommendation was for her to remain but that was before this little complication," Hammond admitted. "Still," he added with a grin, "I have to admit that it is a complication that I am very happy to be able to witness."

Daniel's phone rang at that moment and after a brief conversation he told the men assembled that the ladies were on their way and suggested that they head out to the back where the ceremony would be performed.

"Expect you, Sir," he said to Hammond. "Sam wants you to wait here for her," he instructed.

George didn't have to wait long to find out what he was needed for. Within minutes Janet, Cassie, Margie Ferretti and Sam were entering the house all looking beautiful. Sam was glowing and turned her radiant smile on George.

"Are they all ready out there?" she asked.

"I believe so," Hammond nodded.

"Then let's get this show on the road," Janet suggested.

They spent another couple of hurried minutes making sure hair and makeup looked perfect, smoothing out Sam's dress, and getting her bouquet organized. Then the other three ladies headed out to join the gentleman leaving just the Sam and the slightly confused General.

"There's not really an aisle to walk me down, but I would be honored if you would escort me out," Sam explained.

George's smile was almost as bright as the bride's as he held out his arm to honor the request.

Once outside there were answering grins from the group standing around the minister. George walked Sam up to Jack and handed her over, taking his place with the other men at his side. Across from him next to Sam the three women stood lending their support.

And in the middle stood Sam and Jack, barely aware of their surroundings as they tried to concentrate on the chaplain's words. Before they knew it they were being pronounced man and wife, and Jack didn't waste any time pulling his bride into his arms and kissing her thoroughly. When they broke for air their friends had actually stopped hooting and hollering and had headed back into the house. With one last quick kiss the newlyweds followed their friends.

After all there was cake to be had.

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TBC


	29. Truly Happy

Defining Moments – Part 1 – Disappearance

Author's Notes:

WoooHooo! I made it…. Here is the end of the story. Sort of. There will be an epilogue, but it will not be out until the end of the month. Anyway, this is a good point to end it. Sam is pretty much the Sam Carter of canon, just without the rank, but with a life outside the mountain. Pretty good trade-off.

Thanks to all of my faithful reviewers. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed hearing from you all.

Jackie W.

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See Part 1 for notes and disclaimer

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Samantha Carter O'Neill was smiling. She couldn't help it. Even though she knew that in a few minutes she could be permanently removed from what she'd come to think of as 'her' team, she was happy. The smile had pretty much been a fixture for the last week. What was even better was the matching smile being sported by her husband. It had taken her the whole first day up at the cabin to realize why he looked so different. She rarely had seen him with a real smile before. A smirk, a cocky grin, and a sarcastic sneer had all made frequent appearances. But this smile, this was new and she really loved it.

Quite a few airman had actually paused and done a double take as they passed the pair in the hallways that morning, obviously also trying to figure out what was different. Hammond had not told anyone about the wedding he'd attended the previous week, so gossip hadn't spread yet to explain the smiles. That would come soon enough. So for now a happy Jack O'Neill was a real mystery. A happy Sam Carter was not as unusual a sight, but still people found her smile contagious.

They both sobered slightly as they entered the conference room. Hammond was still in his office so they joined Teal'c and Daniel who were already seated and waited silently for the verdict. When the General did appear is was impossible to read his features. He carried a folder and after sitting at the head of the table he opened it and shuffled around a few papers. Then with a sigh he looked up.

"Well I sure hope you all enjoyed your time off. My week has been a bit chaotic thanks to the two of you," he stated looking from Jack to Sam.

"We're sorry, sir," Sam told him.

"Well be that as it may, you caused quite a stir. Best you were away for the most of it," he admitted. "There were a few members of the Joint Chiefs that would have liked have thrown the book at you Colonel. However since you hadn't really broken any rules since Dr. Carter is a civilian it was pretty easy to calm things down. Luckily the President was on your side, and he was often the voice of reason in our discussions. All of which is to say that a decision has been reached as to the future make-up of SG1," he concluded.

Four sets of eyes bored into him awaiting the final word.

With a smile he happily announced that for the time being Sam would be staying on SG1 if she so desired. Hammond was expected to produce a monthly review of how well the team was functioning and if at any time any of them felt that the relationship between Sam and Jack was detrimental to their working together they would re-evaluate the decision. Also, if Sam were to fall pregnant she would be pulled from active duty.

Now the entire group was smiling. SG1 departed the conference room, and immediately made plans to celebrate that night then Sam left them to go give Janet the good news. On entering the infirmary she found her friend in her office and closed the door so that they could talk.

"Sam! It's good to have you back. And I don't even need to ask how the honeymoon was, you are positively glowing, so I know you had lots of fun," Janet declared with a smile.

Sam actually blushed thinking just how much 'fun' she and Jack had had.

"It was great, Jan, but I have even better news!" Sam told her.

"Samantha O'Neill, are you pregnant?" Janet asked lowering her voice on the last part to a whisper.

Sam's eyes grew wide, "Holy Hannah, no! Jack and I were extremely careful. We want to wait a bit, get used to being married first. But the powers that be have decided I can stay on SG1!" she announced. "We are all celebrating tonight, so you have to come and bring Cassie," Sam declared.

"We wouldn't miss it. We'll just need to make an early get-away since it's a school night," Janet promised.

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Much later that night it was just down to the four members of SG1 who had moved the celebration from the restaurant they had begun the evening at to Sam and Jack's house. It was Daniel who started the toasting.

"To SG1, our slightly dysfunctional family," he quipped.

"To SG1," the other three all responded raising their glasses.

"And to Sam for putting up with the three of us," Daniel added.

"To Samantha, a fine warrior and friend," Teal'c added.

Jack gazed at Sam with a happy smile. For once he didn't mind opening up a bit and letting his good friends see just how he felt.

"To Sam, damn fine soldier, brilliant scientist, loyal friend and love of my life," he toasted.

Sam fought back tears as she acknowledged their praise by raising her glass to theirs. She thought back on the person she had been prior to coming to the SGC and could only hope that they knew that the woman that stood before them today was very much a product of the time she had spent with them.

Sam Carter (O'Neill) was a testament to the friendship, support, and love that she had been blessed with the last three years. With any luck she would continue to be blessed for many years to come.

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The End


End file.
